NopeNah Posted July 22, 2015 Share Posted July 22, 2015 Seriously if we had the girlfriend here you'll get a completely different story from the one this guy is telling us. A little bird is telling me after reading his previous posts that we need to the other version Thing is...we won't get her here.. She's done the correct thing. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
wizer Posted July 22, 2015 Share Posted July 22, 2015 I actually do it because she likes it. I don't keep the phone by my head, I put it aside on the bed. Isn't like Im sitting there listening to her breathe. Now that I think about it, yeah it's kinda weird but I only do it because she likes to. I sure hope you both have Verizon. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
goldway90 Posted July 22, 2015 Share Posted July 22, 2015 Thing is...we won't get her here.. She's done the correct thing. I'm Praying4Her 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Warriors Posted July 22, 2015 Author Share Posted July 22, 2015 (edited) There's people on here being harsh because they don't really know me or the situation. Because I have a temper automatically means Im a bad guy ? Because I made mistakes these past couple months ? Yes I called her those names but haven't in over a month. I didn't start that up until things were going downhill. People have worked through that as well. Everyone's here instead of being kind are being harsh cause Im a newbee, easy to pick on cause Im confused caught up in my own situation. People can say what they want about me, but I know my girl better than anyone here. It was over 2 years before we ever argued. Flawless chemistry! Yes I screwed up, do I deserve the permanent boot out of her life when I have all the motivation in my heart to make a change?? I dont think so, not if Im willing to prove her wrong. I know what it take to be 10x's better of a boyfriend than I ever was to her. Our circumstances and the things that come with being in a relationship, especially a long distance relationship made it hard. Trust issues, and if you think Im a hot head, you haven't seen her temper yet. Im explaining the best way I can what happen that broke us up. Couples have came back from worse situations, other boyfriends have done worse to their girlfriends than I have. So those who are going out of there way to pick on me because they see other people being harsh, I don't appreciate that. Im asking for advice not to be bullied taunting me how I deserve to be broken up with. Edited July 22, 2015 by Warriors Link to post Share on other sites
Author Warriors Posted July 22, 2015 Author Share Posted July 22, 2015 Anyone have real advice on here on how to actually win her back ? Instead of giving me the "you deserve to be broken up with! She isn't ever coming back because you cursed her out! Your a hot head loser." Those who aren't paying any close attention she's been talking about getting back together soon. Just not today. Link to post Share on other sites
goldway90 Posted July 22, 2015 Share Posted July 22, 2015 "In the past yes I did call her names. like bitch ho slut (not on a daily basis, and not in a month. Even after the break up I haven't crossed that line again.) I would be intimidating, I'd be a straight up *******! But I never threatened her, never put my hands on her or ever even acted like I was going to do such a thing.. I've walked away from her and out the house. She's been more threatening as far as saying she'll hit me, beat my ass and has to past boyfriends so she is the type that may challenge me if a fight ever got that far. " You basically emotionally abused her, the fact she wants to you prove yourself and that you've changed explains it all. No woman would tell her ex or man to prove himself unless he made a big mistake ( cheating or whatever) in your case i'm sure she's hurt by your abuse. Reading through your old posts i can see you're blaming her for a lot of things, playing the victim " oh i was so good, i gave her all" typical abuser behavior. Also the pursuing thing is due to the your possessiveness, promising that you're going to change and show her! for real man. Leave the girl alone Btw there's no real advice on HOW TO WIN HER BACK? none the members here gave you tons of great advices ( from their experiences in real life) that you wouldn't get in any other place, so instead of calling them harsh be little bit grateful they take their time to help, don't be a d!ck. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
lil hoodlum Posted July 22, 2015 Share Posted July 22, 2015 (edited) You want real advice on how to win her back? Listen to what posters have been telling you since nearly day one! Listen to what your ex/girlfriend had been asking you. Stop pressuring her. You are only pushing her away more and upseting her when you do that. Stop pushing your wants, your needs on this poor girl. What about what she wants? Have things allways been about your needs or does she have a say in things too? Stop arguing with her when she does contact you. That is an excellent way to show her with actions that you are changing and being someone who she may want to be with. Seriously, bite your tongue and no more arguing. Take a few steps back and give her some breathing room. Let the her negative emotions settle and allow her time to miss you. You are in her back pocket and like her little shadow allways following her around. That seriously isn't very attractive and I am sure it is stroking her ego for now, but eventually it will get old and you will be seen as annoying. Edited July 22, 2015 by lil hoodlum spelling 1 Link to post Share on other sites
wizer Posted July 22, 2015 Share Posted July 22, 2015 Anyone have real advice on here on how to actually win her back ? Why didn't you ask that in the first place? Try giving her some space. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 (edited) There's people on here being harsh because they don't really know me or the situation. Because I have a temper automatically means Im a bad guy ? Because I made mistakes these past couple months ? Yes I called her those names but haven't in over a month. I didn't start that up until things were going downhill. People have worked through that as well. Everyone's here instead of being kind are being harsh cause Im a newbee, easy to pick on cause Im confused caught up in my own situation. People can say what they want about me, but I know my girl better than anyone here. It was over 2 years before we ever argued. Flawless chemistry! Yes I screwed up, do I deserve the permanent boot out of her life when I have all the motivation in my heart to make a change?? I dont think so, not if Im willing to prove her wrong. I know what it take to be 10x's better of a boyfriend than I ever was to her. Our circumstances and the things that come with being in a relationship, especially a long distance relationship made it hard. Trust issues, and if you think Im a hot head, you haven't seen her temper yet. Im explaining the best way I can what happen that broke us up. Couples have came back from worse situations, other boyfriends have done worse to their girlfriends than I have. So those who are going out of there way to pick on me because they see other people being harsh, I don't appreciate that. Im asking for advice not to be bullied taunting me how I deserve to be broken up with. People here are not being harsh, bullying you, or taunting you. They are trying very hard to help you by trying to get you to see how to how completely self-defeating your behaviour is. So far you've not taken any of the very sound advice you've been given. Think, think, think, about your actions, and what the consequences of your actions are likely to be. If you continue on your current path, she will come to hate you. Edited July 23, 2015 by Satu 2 Link to post Share on other sites
LeslieKnope Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 Warriors, people here are just offering constructive criticism, feedback. If my ex had at times been unkind and argumentative in our relationship, I would want that to improve WAY before I even considered a friendship with that person, let alone a relationship again. You can't call a girl a bitch and a slut in the past and expect to naturally smooth things over with flowers! Most women are actually not that shallow or insecure. It would be well-advised that you demonstrably work on your anger management and control issues. Right now what's upsetting you most is that you cannot control the status of the relationship or her feelings for you. I get it, it sucks. But she's her own person. If she says she needs time and space, give her time and space. Don't bombard her with presents and texts and calls and mind games. Be cool. If you're gonna take a break from her this weekend (and hopefully several days afterwards), great, but fill your time. Don't sit around waiting for her to call you. Be genuinely busy. Work on yourself. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
pidgeon1010 Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 Warriors, you keep asking what you can do to win her back, but don't want to accept what you need to do. It's really quite simple. The one thing she has asked for that you have failed to deliver is giving her space. She said she needs time to get over the hurt you have caused. You think she is going to get over that by you being around constantly, trying to prove to her that you've changed? No one has ever been nagged into a relationship. It will never work to get her back because the reason she broke it off hasn't been resolved within herself. Let's say you've changed and become the best BF ever, still there is nothing you can do to get her back. SHE has to want it and right now she doesn't want it. Please give her space. In that time, you also have to work on getting yourself back because frankly, you sound out of control, emotionally. Time/space is the best thing you could do for a potential reconciliation. Link to post Share on other sites
LifeNomad Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 Warrior you sound really possessive making her sleep on the phone. Just leave her alone man, it honestly sounds like shes afraid of telling you she wants nothing to do with you leave her alone, if she loves you if shes genuinely interested in you she will look for you when she starts wondering what or who has been keeping you entertained. If she don't come back its because she been wanting out of the relationship for a while unfortunately. Link to post Share on other sites
HandsomeBoh Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 I think OP just needs to do what he needs to do, despite the advice the community has given him. Will this get back his girl? Probably not... But at least it'll let him learn, the way we've all learned. Link to post Share on other sites
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