venting, but needing advice

[somewhatdamaged]

id like to apologize in advance for how long this is.

 

 

a few months ago i was dumped by my girlfriend of 5 years. to make things short, she was the first girlfriend i ever really had. there were a couple of girls that i "went out with", but none really serious, i kinda just jumped into this relationship with this girl really fast, and it seemed like everything was great for so long. anyway, when she broke up with me i realized i wasnt treating her as good as i should, and tried so hard to get back with her. she even told me she had slept with someone else and wanted me back and i said i wanted her back too, but eventually she broke up with me again. shortly after i came to find out she broke up with me for someone who is more than twice her age (shes 22) and is getting married to this guy. i actually am glad that it ended up that way, as much as it hurt it made it that much easier for me to get over her. as hurt as i was by the whole situation i got it in my head i would hate girls and never let one close to me again.

this brings me to the night i met this girl. as much hate as i had for girls in me somehow just seeing this girl made me feel something ive never felt before. i made an effort to speak to her (very unlike me) and through a few nights hung out with her a little. hanging out a few times i started liking her more and more. almost all of my friends knew i had a huge crush on her. i finally worked up the courage to ask her number, which i got. so i give it a couple days then call, get no answer, leave a casual friend message, and leave it at that. the next night i see her she really doesnt say much, after drinking a bit and being somewhat upset i do something stupid, and tell her how i feel about her. i didnt say anything dumb or go too far, i just said that i really liked her alot and thought she was great, etc. she tells me she thought we should get to know each other better. so for a while i am trying as hard as i can to just be friends with my crush growing more every day. i seriously have no interest in any other girl but her. she really seems like the kind of girl i've always been looking for. there was a show she was telling me she wanted to go a few times, so i eventually asked her if she wanted to go with me, and pretty much got a blow off response "oh i dont know, i have work the next day" etc. and after that i just decided to stop. the problem is i see her practically every day with all my friends, and the more i see her / hang out the more i like her. i know she is seriously looking for a boyfriend because i hear her talk to her friends about it all the time, but she is really shy. i absolutely cannot figure her out, i get so many mixed signals. one day it seems like she likes me and the next i really think i have no chance. i dont want to be pushy about it and i dont want her to think i am just trying to hook up with her, but i think she is eventually gonna get with some other guy and its really gonna suck for me. ive already tried the honest approach, and i didnt get very far. is she playing hard to get? does she really not like me? when should i give up if im not getting a hint, or am i just not wanting to admit that shes giving me hints?

[BrotherAaron]

You should take a hint, because you're wasting your effort. If she wanted to go to the show, and still said no when you invited her... well that's as bad as it gets. Anyway, try to avoid her for the time being.

 

For the record, most of the time there are mixed signals, it's the result of one person trying to make the best of very bad signals. Don't play that game.