Post cheating girlfriend in Israel. Real NC begins [updated]

[lauri]

So I was just leaving my house to go to dinner. I'm in the car with my mom leaving the street when my ex turns around the corner driving in her convertible with her sister. We drove right by each other, I'm assuming she was headed to my house to drop off the sweatshirt. Then of course we get stuck at a light and she comes right up behind us. Then she drove right by me and we would have pulled up at a light right next to each other but I told my mom to stop short of the light. So I saw her, she didn't seem upset at all. I think I saw her smile or laugh or something.

 

NC is so important for this very reason. It doesn't allow her to play any games with you or try to manipulate you. I hope you are staying true to your word and not responding to anything she has to say and / or any attempts of contact from her. This one was out of your control - but at least you avoided it as best as you could.

 

She may be "smiling" but in truth, in the long run, if you start to live a good life and YOU are happy, it will make her regret doing what she did to you. Every. Single. Day. She's going to be the miserable one if you cut her off without any "closure" talk. It's going to burn her, not you.

 

So don't get sucked into her games or any form of communication with her, because I promise you, she will win and set you back in your healing process. She lost you man - let her see that means that you're indifferent to her too. In short, it means she is nothing special...and this chick clearly thinks shes gods gift to earth if she can do these things to you and have no backlash.

 

Be grateful that things ended man. This girl's a waste.

[kylej]

NC is so important for this very reason. It doesn't allow her to play any games with you or try to manipulate you. I hope you are staying true to your word and not responding to anything she has to say and / or any attempts of contact from her. This one was out of your control - but at least you avoided it as best as you could.

 

She may be "smiling" but in truth, in the long run, if you start to live a good life and YOU are happy, it will make her regret doing what she did to you. Every. Single. Day. She's going to be the miserable one if you cut her off without any "closure" talk. It's going to burn her, not you.

 

So don't get sucked into her games or any form of communication with her, because I promise you, she will win and set you back in your healing process. She lost you man - let her see that means that you're indifferent to her too. In short, it means she is nothing special...and this chick clearly thinks shes gods gift to earth if she can do these things to you and have no backlash.

 

Be grateful that things ended man. This girl's a waste.

 

 

Thanks lauri. I'm staying NC, for good this time. I just came home and my sweatshirt was neatly folded up at my doorstep, so I got that back without even having the break NC which is nice. She texted me, "Kyle" and that was it a couple hours ago. I didnt respond and Im not really sure what to make of it.

[lauri]

Thanks lauri. I'm staying NC, for good this time. I just came home and my sweatshirt was neatly folded up at my doorstep, so I got that back without even having the break NC which is nice. She texted me, "Kyle" and that was it a couple hours ago. I didnt respond and Im not really sure what to make of it.

 

What to make of it? There is nothing unique, complicated or special about her actions. She's just wasting your time and looking for any indication that you don't hate her. She wants to be in control again and cannot stand you are moving on.

 

She is going to up the ante soon. Have you deleted and blocked her from snap chat and Facebook yet? If you haven't, I strongly suggest to do so before it is too late. She's going to start to post some things to really get you to respond. If you take away and opportunity she has to do it, it will only protect yourself.

[organizedchaos]

Thanks lauri. I'm staying NC, for good this time. I just came home and my sweatshirt was neatly folded up at my doorstep, so I got that back without even having the break NC which is nice. She texted me, "Kyle" and that was it a couple hours ago. I didnt respond and Im not really sure what to make of it.

 

Dude. We already told you what to make of it. WHY are you still questioning this girls motives??? You don't honestly believe after what she's said and done she wants to reconcile, do you?

[lauri]

Dude. We already told you what to make of it. WHY are you still questioning this girls motives???

 

Seriously...okay OP, tell us exactly what type of answer are you looking for?

[organizedchaos]

What to make of it? There is nothing unique, complicated or special about her actions. She's just wasting your time and looking for any indication that you don't hate her. She wants to be in control again and cannot stand you are moving on.

 

She is going to up the ante soon. Have you deleted and blocked her from snap chat and Facebook yet? If you haven't, I strongly suggest to do so before it is too late. She's going to start to post some things to really get you to respond. If you take away and opportunity she has to do it, it will only protect yourself.

 

And block her number too so you stop over analyzing every little breadcrumb she's tosses your way to relieve her guilt. Out of sight out of mind.

[dumbass2]

Thanks lauri. I'm staying NC, for good this time. I just came home and my sweatshirt was neatly folded up at my doorstep, so I got that back without even having the break NC which is nice. She texted me, "Kyle" and that was it a couple hours ago. I didnt respond and Im not really sure what to make of it.

 

What did you make of her cheating on you while on her trip? Was that pretty cool? Pretty nice thing for someone to do to someone you think she really cares about....right?

 

Come on Kyle. Why would you give a crap about what she thinks. She's already showed you. At this point you will make things 1000 times worse by responding to anything she has to say. Do us all a favor and if she texts you anything else and you feel like responding, come on here so we can talk you out of it. In the end you will do what you feel you need to do, but with our experience, we are truly trying to help you from not getting hurt any more. Most of us have seen this before and been through it. We're not just shooting from the hip on our advice. This girl has treated you like crap.

[movingonnow1]

Oh my, man, I wish I could be with you in person so I could spend hours de programming your brain to stop thinking the way that you do. I get it...you want to know she regrets it.

 

Let's put it this way - she regrets it when you're not talking to her. The minute you talk to her, she remembers why she did what she did and doesn't care anymore. So, in short, only way she will care is if you disappear. But that doesn't mean she wants you back, she only cares because she feels guilty and wants to get rid of that feeling. But hey man, if you wanna be her little emotional punching bag, go ahead and keep wondering about her, respond and then go back to square one.

 

Ask yourself this, who do you want to help now? You or her?

 

If it's you, you need to cut all communication with her, NOW.

[ManyDissapoint]

You need to bury this turd deep. Right now you are catching whiffs here and there and remembering. BURY THIS TURD.

 

You know what that means.

[Chi townD]

Yeah, everyone is right on target. See, she doesn't want you back, but she doesn't want you to hate her either.

 

 

For some reason, MOST girls hate the fact that there might be a person on the planet that hates them or doesn't think that they are a nice person. Drives them insane. So, they seek you out to see if this is the case. To try and get you in the "friend zone".

 

 

Once they discover that you're "okay", it eases their guilt and toss you back to the curb and they go on their merry way.

 

 

She doesn't want you back, she wants you to ease that guilt. That's not your problem anymore. And you not responding and relieving her of that guilt isn't a punishment to our Ex's. We want them to told onto that guilt. To learn from it. That they can't treat people the way she treated you and expect folks to be okay with it.

 

 

And PLEASE tell me you've blocked her on all your social media?

[kylej]

 

And PLEASE tell me you've blocked her on all your social media?

 

I wish I could say I had. I am struggling to bring myself to do it and I just saw her on snapchat with the same dude she initially posted those snapchats with that inspired this whole thread. I guess she drove up to LA to hang out with him and the other kids she met on the trip. ****.

[Learningtowalkagain]

I wish I could say I had. I am struggling to bring myself to do it and I just saw her on snapchat with the same dude she initially posted those snapchats with that inspired this whole thread. I guess she drove up to LA to hang out with him and the other kids she met on the trip. ****.

 

For the love of God please delete her from your life. It's painful reading your posts. Do you like torturing yourself? That's all you're doing. She's moved on on. Like you don't exist. Why prolong your misery?

[kylej]

For the love of God please delete her from your life. It's painful reading your posts. Do you like torturing yourself? That's all you're doing. She's moved on on. Like you don't exist. Why prolong your misery?

 

Idk. I guess I like knowing over not knowing even if it's painful.

[Learningtowalkagain]

Idk. I guess I like knowing over not knowing even if it's painful.

 

Like Jay Z said bud, you gotta brush that dirt off your shoulder.

 

You're just insecure and lack confidence right now. I know it's tempting to keep check but you're just prolonging your misery. She ain't coming back. As painful as it may be please start the healing by deleting her from your life.

 

Ask yourself this question: What is the point of checking up on her at this point? You're just causing yourself agony.

[lauri]

I told you a million times. She's gonna use social media to get at you now. She knows you're watching. What do you not understand about that?

 

Seriously man, I'm so disappointed in you. In the end, your call.

[Chi townD]

Time to let go dude. You're not responding but she can see that you go on her snapchat. This is now going to turn into a game for her. I told you what would happen before. You're not responding to her, so she's going to post some hurtful sh*t on snapchat to get under your skin. She's doing this to get a response out of you. A rise. And then when you had enough, she expects you to blow up her phone to put her on blast.

 

 

Don't play her game!

[kylej]

Alright. I blocked her on snapchat.

[lauri]

Alright. I blocked her on snapchat.

 

Good. Block her from Facebook and any other forms of communication too, including her friends.

 

You may not see it now but this is the best way for you long term.

[organizedchaos]

Alright. I blocked her on snapchat.

 

Don't stop there. Block everywhere. It is for your own good.

[kylej]

Another Update

 

It looks like things have come full circle again.

 

It's been just over a week now since the break up and I've gone full NC. I was worried she didn't care after my last update when she was calling me but it was just to see if I wanted my sweatshirt. However, the past 2 days she has continued calling me and hit me with texts such as "why are you doing this to me" and "im begging you just text me back". I'm not sure what she wants but I'm doing my best to keep strong and remain NC.

 

I admit her begging me to talk to her feels good, and I kind of want her to keep begging but at the same time it takes a lot of strength to ignore her and I can feel her texts stopping me from moving on when I am trying really hard to.

[Simon Phoenix]

Another Update

 

It looks like things have come full circle again.

 

It's been just over a week now since the break up and I've gone full NC. I was worried she didn't care after my last update when she was calling me but it was just to see if I wanted my sweatshirt. However, the past 2 days she has continued calling me and hit me with texts such as "why are you doing this to me" and "im begging you just text me back". I'm not sure what she wants but I'm doing my best to keep strong and remain NC.

 

I admit her begging me to talk to her feels good, and I kind of want her to keep begging but at the same time it takes a lot of strength to ignore her and I can feel her texts stopping me from moving on when I am trying really hard to.

 

The last time you played this game you caved and folded like a wet paper bag. It's time for you to block the number because you are right -- it's going to absolutely prevent you from moving on.

[Chi townD]

Another Update

 

It looks like things have come full circle again.

 

It's been just over a week now since the break up and I've gone full NC. I was worried she didn't care after my last update when she was calling me but it was just to see if I wanted my sweatshirt. However, the past 2 days she has continued calling me and hit me with texts such as "why are you doing this to me" and "im begging you just text me back". I'm not sure what she wants but I'm doing my best to keep strong and remain NC.

 

I admit her begging me to talk to her feels good, and I kind of want her to keep begging but at the same time it takes a lot of strength to ignore her and I can feel her texts stopping me from moving on when I am trying really hard to.

 

 

You are not doing this to her. She did this to you. She just discovered that you blocked her. She discovered that you left the game.

 

 

You're not doing this to her. This was HER choice and her choice was to have you out of her life. She told you that your services as a boyfriend are no longer required. So, you're giving her EXACTLY what she's asking for.

 

 

If she intends to have you as a friend, that's not her choice. She can no longer dictate what you can or can't be with her. You are not her friend. I'm pretty sure that you didn't get into a loving and caring relationship with her for the end result is that you are nothing more than a really good friend to her. I don't think that it should be cool that you should take a demotion to "friend" status. Laughing and joking then all of the sudden, she has to leave because she's meeting up with the guy she cheated on you with up the coast for the weekend. "But, we'll talk and grab some coffee when I get back!"

 

 

Is that what you want?

 

 

Dude, stay strict NC. Sooner or later, those texts will taper off.

[organizedchaos]

Another Update

 

It looks like things have come full circle again.

 

It's been just over a week now since the break up and I've gone full NC. I was worried she didn't care after my last update when she was calling me but it was just to see if I wanted my sweatshirt. However, the past 2 days she has continued calling me and hit me with texts such as "why are you doing this to me" and "im begging you just text me back". I'm not sure what she wants but I'm doing my best to keep strong and remain NC.

 

I admit her begging me to talk to her feels good, and I kind of want her to keep begging but at the same time it takes a lot of strength to ignore her and I can feel her texts stopping me from moving on when I am trying really hard to.

 

WHY have you not blocked all means of her to contact you? After what she's done and continues to do?

[lauri]

All of her smiles and "fun snap chats" were all a show. Now that you've taken away her ability to get the "upper" hand on you, you've essentially taken away all of her power. She is realizing now that you "hate" her and her guilt is starting to pile up. This is cheating ex girlfriend reaction to the guy moving on 101.

 

Now, you need to cut her out completely. This means BLOCK her. Trust me, her messages will only increase. Eventually, she will say she "Wants you back" (sound familiar?), only to have you around while she tries out other guys / finds a new branch to swing onto. You're going to be blindsided by some of the stuff she is going to throw at you shortly. Your mind is going to make you believe that she is doing this to get you back. That she regrets what she did. Well, in all honesty, it isn't that at all. She won't regret a thing the minute she has you back in her life.

 

She will remember that you were weak. She will remember why she cheated on you. She will remember every single mistake you made (knowingly or unknowingly) which made her lose interest in you. She will then cut you off again, except this time for good. Why? Because she won't feel guilty at all since you took her back and were speaking with her. Why else would you be talking to her? People don't talk to people who treat them like crap and get respect back from them.

 

You and I both know that you are in no mental state to handle this. You first. Her never.

 

By the way, how the hell is she the victim here? Didn't she cheat on you and want to be "single"?

Edited July 30, 2015 by lauri

[54JA]

I agree with the above posts about blocking her number. You are already struggling with NC with her begging. This is going to get much harder once the texts begin to dwindle/stop. Once that happens, you are going to feel like you missed out on the opportunity and feel even more tempted to see why she stopped texting you.

 

The best way is to not have any knowledge of her attempts at contacting you. It's easier to deal with NC when you have no idea whether she contacted you or not than knowing she contacted you then stopped.

 

Please remember what happened when you gave her a second chance. I really don't think she's learned anything. If she has learned anything from the breakup, she would not be asking why you are doing this to her. If she learned anything, she would have said something like "I understand why you don't want to talk to me."