Post cheating girlfriend in Israel. Real NC begins [updated]

[kylej]

Best lesson is the one you learn yourself.

 

Keep us updated o.p. There is yet a chance she will return upon the fantasy lifestyle of her trip ending. She just wanted you to let her be guilt free as she does her dirt and the idea that she was losing her hold on you madet her panic.

 

You now know with your own experience what to do

 

She has always been super short-sighted (figuratively not literally). I kind of hope she regrets giving me up when she gets back but this time I will not go back.

[Clarence_Boddicker]

She has always been super short-sighted (figuratively not literally). I kind of hope she regrets giving me up when she gets back but this time I will not go back.

 

You'll never know, if you follow our simple & easy to do advice. Every minute & bit of mental energy you spend on her is lost and could be used for finding your next girl.

[Satu]

"When all the words have been said, there are no more words to be said."

 

Let goodbye mean goodbye.

 

Then walk forward into the sunshine.

 

 

Take care.

[NopeNah]

You'll never know, if you follow our simple & easy to do advice. Every minute & bit of mental energy you spend on her is lost and could be used for finding your next girl.

 

Or your next big accomplishment in your own life. I've learned to accept my own happiness in life is on myself and not focus it on any single person,except me.

 

To me,now, a partner/relationship is an "add on", like buying a car with stuff I don't need,but want and am willing to pay extra for.

[kylej]

She is out partying with one of the guys she cheated on me with. How do I deal with this **** guys? :(

[kylej]

She is out partying with one of the guys she cheated on me with. How do I deal with this **** guys? :(

 

It's so ****ing disrespectful towards me

[Simon Phoenix]

She is out partying with one of the guys she cheated on me with. How do I deal with this **** guys? :(

 

You don't. You move forward from it. Write her off as a lying, disrespectful piece of crap and wash your hands of her. And why do you know this information? She should be blocked everywhere.

[jen1447]

She is out partying with one of the guys she cheated on me with. How do I deal with this **** guys? :(

 

It's so ****ing disrespectful towards me

 

I hate to rock the boat on your recovery, but if you're broke up, why shouldn't she go out with whoever she wants and how is it disrespectful to you? Do you want her to go thru a period of penance or sth?

[kylej]

You don't. You move forward from it. Write her off as a lying, disrespectful piece of crap and wash your hands of her. And why do you know this information? She should be blocked everywhere.

 

I saw it on her friends snapchat story. I feel weird blocking her because it's not like that makes it not happen, I just don't know about it.

[Satu]

I saw it on her friends snapchat story. I feel weird blocking her because it's not like that makes it not happen, I just don't know about it.

 

A clip from my journal:

 

 

*Not knowing* is a wonderful thing.

 

A kind of enlightenment.

 

 

 

Take care.

Edited July 22, 2015 by Satu

[Simon Phoenix]

I saw it on her friends snapchat story. I feel weird blocking her because it's not like that makes it not happen, I just don't know about it.

 

She's going to do what she wants to do regardless. So would you rather know about it and torture yourself like you are now or would you rather just focus on you and not get caught up in stupid drama?

 

I mean, it sucks what you're going through. But knowing what she's doing is not going to help you out at all. It will just keep you in the muck longer.

[kylej]

She's going to do what she wants to do regardless. So would you rather know about it and torture yourself like you are now or would you rather just focus on you and not get caught up in stupid drama?

 

I mean, it sucks what you're going through. But knowing what she's doing is not going to help you out at all. It will just keep you in the muck longer.

 

Truthfully I'm petrified of living a life without her so maybe I'm not blocking her hoping she'll still contact me. She was my only friend in college last year, she transferred but I didn't. Now I'm going back in 2 months and I know absolutely no one with no one to talk to. It gives me so much anxiety to just think about it.

[organizedchaos]

I saw it on her friends snapchat story. I feel weird blocking her because it's not like that makes it not happen, I just don't know about it.

 

Ignorance is bliss.

 

You will never recover if you don't block all avenues to her.

 

Once again, please heed our advice. We've been there.

[organizedchaos]

Truthfully I'm petrified of living a life without her so maybe I'm not blocking her hoping she'll still contact me. She was my only friend in college last year, she transferred but I didn't. Now I'm going back in 2 months and I know absolutely no one with no one to talk to. It gives me so much anxiety to just think about it.

 

Be your own man and not so co-dependant on another person for your identity or happiness.

[Satu]

Truthfully I'm petrified of living a life without her so maybe I'm not blocking her hoping she'll still contact me. She was my only friend in college last year, she transferred but I didn't. Now I'm going back in 2 months and I know absolutely no one with no one to talk to. *It gives me so much anxiety to just think about it.

 

If you feel OK:

 

You look at the past, and the past looks OK.

 

If you feel bad:

 

You look at the past, and the past looks bad.

 

 

If you feel OK:

 

You imagine the future, and the future looks OK.

 

If you feel bad:

 

You imagine the future, and the future looks bad.

 

 

What that means, is that you have to find ways of making yourself feel OK in the present, so that you can have a past and future that look OK to you!

 

One way of looking at things, is to look at life as consisting of frustrations and satisfactions.

 

You have just lost your girlfriend, and that's definitely a frustration.

 

You can't make that unhappen.

 

 

So what you have to do is add satisfactions.

 

 

Do things that make you feel good

 

Go to places that make you feel good.

 

Read books that make you feel good.

 

Listen to music that makes you feel good.

 

Do exercise that makes you feel good.

 

Watch movies that make you feel good.

 

 

And so on, and so on, and so on.

 

 

Build a list of things that make you feel good, and do them.

 

 

 

Take care.

[Simon Phoenix]

Truthfully I'm petrified of living a life without her so maybe I'm not blocking her hoping she'll still contact me. She was my only friend in college last year, she transferred but I didn't. Now I'm going back in 2 months and I know absolutely no one with no one to talk to. It gives me so much anxiety to just think about it.

 

Well, this is a great opportunity to break out of your shell and make new friends. If you learn anything from this it's not to base the entirety of your existence and self-esteem on the shoulders of one person.

 

And do you really want to be a cuckold while she dates other men? You can be better than that.

[lauri]

It's okay. You make mistakes - I was trying to push you into the direction to allow yourself to be in the most minimal pain. Instead, your actions have caused her to walk away from you, and truth be told, it's probably for the best. I knew she was going to manipulate you back in - I was actually proud of you in the beginning.

 

Had you continued down your other path, your ex would have 1) had the rest of her trip ruined and 2) would've been so confused because she never thought you were this strong / as much of a challenge (turn on). Her manipulative actions would have eventually led you to believing she would take you back and things would last (like it happened to me before). At least this way you've learned right away by caving so early.

 

You can see your ex doesn't respect you. She knows she still has you - because why else would have you given her another chance after she did such horrible things? She's gonna continue to disrespect you for as long as you keep giving her avenues to show you whats going on her in "fun life". Trust me, its just an act btw. She's gonna be miserable really soon if you legit disappear and give her no way to show you "how much better" she is without you...kind of like how you were when you were doing things the right way when she messed around with you.

 

Don't look at anything anymore to do with your ex and remove her friends. You and I both know her friends are telling her that you're looking at their snapchats while she rolls her eyes and says "ugh, what a loser, dont know why he's not getting the hint".

 

This is something you need to learn. There is always someone else for you out there - if you're willing to walk away from something toxic / bad for you, you will only start to attract people who want similar things as you do.

 

Also, please stop making excuses for cutting out your ex and her friends. You've tried doing this your own way once..that is why I suggest this time you actually take our advice and cut her off for good.

[Satu]

The OP was doing really well but fell at the last hurdle.

 

There's no shame in that, but its very unfortunate.

 

It isn't a complete waste if he learns from it, and doesn't do it again.

 

No more drama.

 

Full NC.

[movingonnow1]

It's okay. You make mistakes - I was trying to push you into the direction to allow yourself to be in the most minimal pain. Instead, your actions have caused her to walk away from you, and truth be told, it's probably for the best. I knew she was going to manipulate you back in - I was actually proud of you in the beginning.

 

Had you continued down your other path, your ex would have 1) had the rest of her trip ruined and 2) would've been so confused because she never thought you were this strong / as much of a challenge (turn on). Her manipulative actions would have eventually led you to believing she would take you back and things would last (like it happened to me before). At least this way you've learned right away by caving so early.

 

You can see your ex doesn't respect you. She knows she still has you - because why else would have you given her another chance after she did such horrible things? She's gonna continue to disrespect you for as long as you keep giving her avenues to show you whats going on her in "fun life". Trust me, its just an act btw. She's gonna be miserable really soon if you legit disappear and give her no way to show you "how much better" she is without you...kind of like how you were when you were doing things the right way when she messed around with you.

 

Don't look at anything anymore to do with your ex and remove her friends. You and I both know her friends are telling her that you're looking at their snapchats while she rolls her eyes and says "ugh, what a loser, dont know why he's not getting the hint".

 

This is something you need to learn. There is always someone else for you out there - if you're willing to walk away from something toxic / bad for you, you will only start to attract people who want similar things as you do.

 

Also, please stop making excuses for cutting out your ex and her friends. You've tried doing this your own way once..that is why I suggest this time you actually take our advice and cut her off for good.

 

This.

 

If you don't cut your ex out she will think even more poorly of you than she does now. She won't see it coming if you actually cut her off and move on.

[Chi townD]

Truthfully I'm petrified of living a life without her so maybe I'm not blocking her hoping she'll still contact me. She was my only friend in college last year, she transferred but I didn't. Now I'm going back in 2 months and I know absolutely no one with no one to talk to. It gives me so much anxiety to just think about it.

 

 

Really dude? Are you done?

 

 

Here's the deal. Now is time to get your revenge. And the best revenge to be had is to lead a damn good life! You're in college!!!! When you get back there, sign up for a couple of clubs or groups. THAT'S HOW YOU MEET PEOPLE!!! THAT'S HOW YOU MAKE FRIENDS!! You have a gym that is absolutely free to you! USE IT! EVERYDAY!!! You eat right and get plenty of sleep, you get a rock hard and ripped bod that girls are definitely going to notice and like. There are three things that most girls love to touch. Those are puppies, kittens and washboard abs.

 

 

Make positive changes in your life and put yourself out there! Look what happened when you did that! Your Ex freaked out didn't she?

 

 

That's how you get your revenge.

[kylej]

Really dude? Are you done?

 

 

Here's the deal. Now is time to get your revenge. And the best revenge to be had is to lead a damn good life! You're in college!!!! When you get back there, sign up for a couple of clubs or groups. THAT'S HOW YOU MEET PEOPLE!!! THAT'S HOW YOU MAKE FRIENDS!! You have a gym that is absolutely free to you! USE IT! EVERYDAY!!! You eat right and get plenty of sleep, you get a rock hard and ripped bod that girls are definitely going to notice and like. There are three things that most girls love to touch. Those are puppies, kittens and washboard abs.

 

 

Make positive changes in your life and put yourself out there! Look what happened when you did that! Your Ex freaked out didn't she?

 

 

That's how you get your revenge.

 

I shift in between this mindset and then back to a different mindset where I'm thinking about how lonely I am in the moment and how she betrayed me and wondering if she even cares. I guess I will hopefully just completely shift to the mindset where I can improve on myself without her.

[lauri]

I shift in between this mindset and then back to a different mindset where I'm thinking about how lonely I am in the moment and how she betrayed me and wondering if she even cares. I guess I will hopefully just completely shift to the mindset where I can improve on myself without her.

 

Do you remember what it felt like when you were in control? Out having fun and just saying forget it towards the beginning of your journey with this? You were surprised of your capabilities and to be honest, so was your ex.

 

Why are you even considering being someone who won't improve themselves? You're honestly thinking of being lonly rather than even trying to improve yourself? What type of girl is going to want to be with a guy like that?

 

See, when I told you never be scared to walk away from someone, you have to actually believe you can find someone else someone better for you in so many ways. Your ex could sense that you're scared to walk away so she continued to abuse you because she was back in control.

 

So, to be quite honest, I'm tired of your excuses. The way you speak is its hard to improve wthout her. What type of improvement would you have if you were with her? The person you are with is supposed to enhance your life, not make it. Girls don't wanna BE your world (I.e don't want a guy who is clingy, not confident to stick up for themselves because they are scared, etc), they want to be apart of your world and share it with you.

 

If you wanna let your ex win, let her see you be miserable and unable to become someone better, go ahead. I dont know why youd do that but do it. If you do, don't sit around and complain how things suck. Because from here on the only reason why things aren't good is because youre not doing anything to improve it.

[kylej]

Do you remember what it felt like when you were in control? Out having fun and just saying forget it towards the beginning of your journey with this? You were surprised of your capabilities and to be honest, so was your ex.

 

Why are you even considering being someone who won't improve themselves? You're honestly thinking of being lonly rather than even trying to improve yourself? What type of girl is going to want to be with a guy like that?

 

See, when I told you never be scared to walk away from someone, you have to actually believe you can find someone else someone better for you in so many ways. Your ex could sense that you're scared to walk away so she continued to abuse you because she was back in control.

 

So, to be quite honest, I'm tired of your excuses. The way you speak is its hard to improve wthout her. What type of improvement would you have if you were with her? The person you are with is supposed to enhance your life, not make it. Girls don't wanna BE your world (I.e don't want a guy who is clingy, not confident to stick up for themselves because they are scared, etc), they want to be apart of your world and share it with you.

 

If you wanna let your ex win, let her see you be miserable and unable to become someone better, go ahead. I dont know why youd do that but do it. If you do, don't sit around and complain how things suck. Because from here on the only reason why things aren't good is because youre not doing anything to improve it.

 

Physically, I am doing everything I can do work on myself and be a better person, trust me. I am working out and on a strict diet and I'm trying to get out again next weekend to go party with friends. Just sometimes mentally it feels like I cant control my thoughts.

[Chi townD]

Physically, I am doing everything I can do work on myself and be a better person, trust me. I am working out and on a strict diet and I'm trying to get out again next weekend to go party with friends. Just sometimes mentally it feels like I cant control my thoughts.

 

That is completely NORMAL! And what you need to do in these situations is KEEP BUSY!! Always moving. Always doing something. That will help distract you from thinking about her. Some would say, "It doesn't help. Because when I stop being busy, my mind wanders to her anyway." Well, actually it does help, because if the only time your mind wanders to her is when you have "down time", then that's a hell of a lot better than all day long. 1.5 hours versus 9+ hours? I'll take the 1.5 thank you very much.

[kylej]

We officially broke up a week ago. It's been killing me thinking she may not care at all. This morning she called me. I didn't pick up but it gave me a great feeling that she was thinking about me. Then she just texted and asked if I wanted my hoodie back. This text almost ****ing killed me my heart hurts so bad. I thought she cared but nope... Just wants to know if I want my hoodie. What should I say?