Author kylej Posted July 26, 2015 Author Share Posted July 26, 2015 I'm leaning towards saying "sure". But obviously I want to ask her if she misses me or anything Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 don't ask that... if you think you feel bad now, just wait until you get a dissatisfying answer Unless that hoodie is something special, it's probably worth the lost $20 to maintain your radio silence, assuming you are in radio silence Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 She does not miss you. She simply wants to rid herself of all reminders of you. If you like the hoodie, tell her where she can send it (do not meet to get it because you aren't ready to see her. It will rip your heart out all over again). If you don't care about the hoodie tell her to do with it what she wants. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gus Grimly Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 kylej, I know where you're at. It's tough when you see a glimmer of hope and get all excited just to be let down. Do you really want the Hoodie back? If yes, tell her a friend will be by to pick it up. If not just don't respond. I would fish for any "I miss yous" or anything like that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kylej Posted July 26, 2015 Author Share Posted July 26, 2015 Should I tell her to keep it? Link to post Share on other sites
Author kylej Posted July 26, 2015 Author Share Posted July 26, 2015 Weighing my options: I can say sure and have her drop it off at my house or something. Tell her to keep it. Or just stay NC. Idk which. I don't really care about the hoodie that much. Link to post Share on other sites
Gus Grimly Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 Personally, I would just tell her to do what she wants with it. She's not gonna keep it. Unless she uses it for a rag or something. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author kylej Posted July 26, 2015 Author Share Posted July 26, 2015 Shes also called me 3 times now... Link to post Share on other sites
Gus Grimly Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 Shes also called me 3 times now... Just text her back something short and to the point like; "Keep the hoodie, I don't want it". Then go NC, that is unless you are wanting to work things out. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 DON'T RESPOND!!! IT'S A TRAP!!! It's a frickin hoodie!!! WHO CARES!!!! Ignore it! Link to post Share on other sites
Morphine Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 Uhm. Is she a stubborn type? If so, her finding a pretext to talk to you might mean she is missing you. But it also may mean she wants to brush her ego seeing you all miserable and so on. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 Let me guess, she back from Israel and party boys are half way around the world and she's come back to the real world and wants to see you. So, she's using that hoodie and a lame ass excuse. You don't need that hoodie. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kylej Posted July 26, 2015 Author Share Posted July 26, 2015 Uhm. Is she a stubborn type? If so, her finding a pretext to talk to you might mean she is missing you. But it also may mean she wants to brush her ego seeing you all miserable and so on. Let me guess, she back from Israel and party boys are half way around the world and she's come back to the real world and wants to see you. So, she's using that hoodie and a lame ass excuse. You don't need that hoodie. Idk, this doesnt feel like she misses me or an excuse to see me. More just like an ice cold way of trying to clear her own conscious by getting rid of things that remind her she cheated on a guy that loved her. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 Or, and I truly believe this. She feels guilty. She treated you like dirt and cheated on you. She probably wants to set the record straight and just reaffirm the reason on why you two shouldn't be back together. It's not for your benefit, it's for hers. So, she can unload her guilt. Dude, just forget about it and forget about her. START MAKING POSITIVE CHANGES TO YOUR LIFE!!!!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lollipopspot Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 I would text her. What I texted her would depend on if I wanted the hoodie back. If no, then say, "no, you keep it and whatever else I may have left at your place." If yes, tell her to just leave it outside your door at a certain time (and you should be gone at that time). Link to post Share on other sites
Author kylej Posted July 26, 2015 Author Share Posted July 26, 2015 Or, and I truly believe this. She feels guilty. She treated you like dirt and cheated on you. She probably wants to set the record straight and just reaffirm the reason on why you two shouldn't be back together. It's not for your benefit, it's for hers. So, she can unload her guilt. Dude, just forget about it and forget about her. START MAKING POSITIVE CHANGES TO YOUR LIFE!!!!! I made the awful awful mistake of being willing to forgive her (although I never did but I said I would try) and I think that may have rid of her guilt and she doesnt feel anything now. Link to post Share on other sites
Frank13 Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 DON'T RESPOND!!! IT'S A TRAP!!! It's a frickin hoodie!!! WHO CARES!!!! Ignore it! If I learned anything here, it's listen to Chi townD. His advice is always spot on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author kylej Posted July 26, 2015 Author Share Posted July 26, 2015 If I learned anything here, it's listen to Chi townD. His advice is always spot on. True.. I am ignoring her. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
dumbass2 Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 True.. I am ignoring her. This is the absolute best advice at this point. She treated you like dirt. Don't give her the opportunity to relieve her guilt if she has any. Best thing to really let her know what she did is not tolerable is to ignore her every text and call. It sends a message that words or a text can't. What you have told us she did is not easily, if ever, forgivable. That trust is gone. You know she has the ability now to do it again on a whim. That's what happens when you get back and forgive so quickly, easily. They then know how easy you are and that you have no boundaries. I feel if you communicate with her at all you will cave and get hurt deeper the longer she keeps you around. If you communicate in any way, shape or form for any reason, she will know that she still has you. Don't even respond to the hoodie thing. Link to post Share on other sites
lauri Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 (edited) Bro, Seriously, re-read that entire thread we posted to you on for DAYS. There is such good advice there for you. You're all over the place (as I predicted from before if you were to talk to her). Cmon man, what do you think will happen if you talk to her again? A fning hoodie is why you'd break NC? Let me explain what her pattern will be. - First, she will fish out to see if you hate her. This will be done with a meaningless breadcrumb. If you respond somewhat positively (such as asking things do you miss me), she will relieve her guilt, realize she has done nothing wrong and then cut you off or keep you around while she talks to other guys. - second, she will then start to call you. Ask if you hate her, etc. She will start to play the victim card. - third, she will crack and result to extreme measures to get your attention. The only thing you need to do is realize is she is doing this to relieve her guilt. She doesn't care about you. All of these steps will lead ultimately to the same ending if you respond, she will cut you off or disrespect you some more. Stay NC. Edited July 26, 2015 by lauri 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Learningtowalkagain Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 Funny story regarding the hoodie: I dated a blonde who had two blonde bombshell sister room mates. We only dated for 3 or 4 months. I left two hoodies at her house. She called me a week later to see if I wanted them back. I started seeing another girl (she was already seeing another guy I was told) so I just chalked it up as a loss even though I loved the hoodies. 2 months later I'm out at the bar and one of her bombshell blonde room mates is at the bar wearing my hoodie. We both got a good laugh and I had a great night with her room mate (we made out but she wouldn't let me bang her because I dated her room mate). Anyway. Screw the hoodie, and screw the girl. If you love the hoodie that much have her drop it off at a mutual friends house or mail it to you. Avoid contact with her. I can already see what's going to happen if you see her, she'll be nice, you'll start thinking "I can forgive her I'm lonely", you'll become needy and let her walk all over you. She'll never respect you, she's already proven that. Move on bud. Cut your loss. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted July 27, 2015 Share Posted July 27, 2015 If you want the hoodies, just send a friend over to say I came over to get KyleJ's hoodies. but do not respond in person. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kylej Posted July 27, 2015 Author Share Posted July 27, 2015 So I was just leaving my house to go to dinner. I'm in the car with my mom leaving the street when my ex turns around the corner driving in her convertible with her sister. We drove right by each other, I'm assuming she was headed to my house to drop off the sweatshirt. Then of course we get stuck at a light and she comes right up behind us. Then she drove right by me and we would have pulled up at a light right next to each other but I told my mom to stop short of the light. So I saw her, she didn't seem upset at all. I think I saw her smile or laugh or something. Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted July 27, 2015 Share Posted July 27, 2015 She's going to give you the "Facebook" treatment from now on - everything is super duper in her life now that you're gone, laughing, smiling, all that stuff. Get used to it. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
organizedchaos Posted July 27, 2015 Share Posted July 27, 2015 So I was just leaving my house to go to dinner. I'm in the car with my mom leaving the street when my ex turns around the corner driving in her convertible with her sister. We drove right by each other, I'm assuming she was headed to my house to drop off the sweatshirt. Then of course we get stuck at a light and she comes right up behind us. Then she drove right by me and we would have pulled up at a light right next to each other but I told my mom to stop short of the light. So I saw her, she didn't seem upset at all. I think I saw her smile or laugh or something. She is playing games. She is not very mature. The best way for you to maintain control and composure is to continue to ignore everything. She is probably telling her friends all about the guys she f'd on vacation and how poor kylej was mr sad sack and was willing to take her back. Ignoring her, taking away any further fuel, will burn deep in her., even if she keeps her poker face in front of her friends. She knows what she did. And when the laughs wear off and her friends are tired of hearing her stories, reality will sink in. Stay in control. Remember how you felt when you last gave that up. Link to post Share on other sites
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