Author kylej Posted July 17, 2015 Author Share Posted July 17, 2015 Maintain NC. Maintain your dignity. Maintain your self - respect. Am i losing my self respect if I ask her wtf I did to deserve her showing off all the guys she's ****ing on snapchat? Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted July 17, 2015 Share Posted July 17, 2015 Am i losing my self respect if I ask her wtf I did to deserve her showing off all the guys she's ****ing on snapchat? What answer would satisfy you? Unless you can think of one, then yes, your self-respect would be in tatters, because at its core, the question is whiny. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gus Grimly Posted July 17, 2015 Share Posted July 17, 2015 Am i losing my self respect if I ask her wtf I did to deserve her showing off all the guys she's ****ing on snapchat? What would the answer provide you? Is is gonna help you sleep better at night? She needs to Vanish from your life. "The Amazing kylej and his amazing disappearing ex girlfriend trick". Yo know? Don't hang on to any more threads she's dangling in front of you. Don't have anything to do with her. You don't need this stress. Seriously. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
organizedchaos Posted July 17, 2015 Share Posted July 17, 2015 Am i losing my self respect if I ask her wtf I did to deserve her showing off all the guys she's ****ing on snapchat? Yes. Listen to what everyone is telling you. We've been there before. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Bumping in my trunk Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 Don't hang on to any more threads she's dangling in front of you. Don't have anything to do with her. You don't need this stress. Seriously. No one needs that kinda stress in their life 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lauri Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 It's clear that you don't see what level of effect you'll have by talking to her. I've explained it over and over again but it seems to fly over your head. Delete her off of snap chat btw, she's gonna post some bad things to "get" at you shortly. Seriously man, why would you even give her the shoes? Also, how did she know you got them / know to msg you about you not selling them? I hope you are not talking to her. Because, by the sound of things, the conversations she's having with you is showing you no respect. Want to know why? She knows that you don't respect yourself if you keep talking to her. Why would she treat you with respect? What true man would continue to talk to someone who is cheating on him? Cmon, you're worth way more than this. The biggest message you could send to this girl is be silent. Silence will prove you are a man, you have self respect and that she isn't worth your time. Once you knock her off the pedistal and make her realize you don't think she is some sort of special angel that can do whatever she wants, you will start to see more clearly. Send her a message and tell her to politely not contact you again. Don't show emotion. Don't care in front of her. I hate cheaters and the last thing I want you to do is hurt yourself anymore than you need to. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 Am i losing my self respect if I ask her wtf I did to deserve her showing off all the guys she's ****ing on snapchat? Yes, you would lose your self-respect and dignity. Do not ask why. Do not beg. Do not plead. Do not cry on the phone. Do not make yourself look weak to your own perception. NC. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
lolablue17 Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 (edited) You're acting like there like you're in an obscure enviroment, and everything is blur. But everything is sharp and clear. There is no even the slightest doubt here about anything. 1. She doesn't want you. The cheating thing is meaningless. She doesn't want you. 2. She is selfish to not taking responsibility and finish it properly. 3. She is a nasty ugly little person to send you humiliating signs through Snapchat of her partying like that. Only a horrible *****ty girl do that. So after all being said: Delete her of any social media, block her and move on, the same thing you were going to do after the last break up. About the shoes, if you don't need the money, give it as a present to one of your (girl) friends or family or something. If you want the money and she wants to pay, have her making an offer, and if you accept let her pay first (by sending you the money through mail), and than send her the shoes. Edited July 18, 2015 by lolablue17 Link to post Share on other sites
lauri Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 You're acting like there like you're in an obscure enviroment, and everything is blur. But everything is sharp and clear. There is no even the slightest doubt here about anything. 1. She doesn't want you. The cheating thing is meaningless. She doesn't want you. 2. She is selfish to not taking responsibility and finish it properly. 3. She is a nasty ugly little person to send you humiliating signs through Snapchat of her partying like that. Only a horrible *****ty girl do that. So after all being said: Delete her of any social media, block her and move on, the same thing you were going to do after the last break up. About the shoes, if you don't need the money, give it as a present to one of your (girl) friends or family or something. If you want the money and she wants to pay, have her making an offer, and if you accept let her pay first (by sending you the money through mail), and than send her the shoes. Lola I agree with everything you'be said here except for him giving her the shoes for money. I don't think she deserves to feel like she hasn't done anything wrong - which is the message it would send if he gave it to her that way. Maybe there is a way go return them? Some sort of return policy from the online purchase? If not, you could always sell to another girl you know, give it to someone else as a gift, or aternatively, sell it online. Link to post Share on other sites
lolablue17 Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 Lola I agree with everything you'be said here except for him giving her the shoes for money. I don't think she deserves to feel like she hasn't done anything wrong - which is the message it would send if he gave it to her that way. Maybe there is a way go return them? Some sort of return policy from the online purchase? If not, you could always sell to another girl you know, give it to someone else as a gift, or aternatively, sell it online. I totally agree with you. If he has a chance to get some money back by returning the shoes, that's the best way. But if he needs the money and he can't return it, he can also allow her to make an offer which he can accept or deny. It's also a little payback, your Ex is forcing you to make offers for your birthday present? mmm... nice... Link to post Share on other sites
Author kylej Posted July 18, 2015 Author Share Posted July 18, 2015 She sent this to me last night after she saw my snapchat stories of me black out drunk partying with friends: "I really need talk to you will you please text or call me at least" Link to post Share on other sites
DexterLS Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 She sent this to me last night after she saw my snapchat stories of me black out drunk partying with friends: "I really need talk to you will you please text or call me at least" Don't make the same mistakes I did. Ignore her completely and move on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lauri Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 She sent this to me last night after she saw my snapchat stories of me black out drunk partying with friends: "I really need talk to you will you please text or call me at least" You have the upper hand. Don't respond or call her. She either wants to use this to be the one to end it so "she wins" or she wants to try to bring you back in with BS. She is starting to realize that you are backing away and she is losing her safety net. This is probably what is going through her mind: - "Did he find someone new?" - "Did someone tell him I banged 3 guys on this trip?" - "Why isn't he responding to me?" - "Why is he having fun and not miserable?" She cannot believe you are man enough to not respond and start to have fun without her. The fact you are indifferent (which you really aren't but the silence is speaking as if you are) she is shocked and her ego is bruised. Don't look at anything she is doing in Israel and continue to do what you are doing. Never ever eveeeeer be scared to walk away from someone who does things to disrespect you. I'm proud of you man for going down this path. Anything you say to her will make you seem weak - but your silence has made you appear to be the strongest man alive. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
lil hoodlum Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 You have the upper hand. Don't respond or call her. She either wants to use this to be the one to end it so "she wins" or she wants to try to bring you back in with BS. She is starting to realize that you are backing away and she is losing her safety net. This is probably what is going through her mind: - "Did he find someone new?" - "Did someone tell him I banged 3 guys on this trip?" - "Why isn't he responding to me?" - "Why is he having fun and not miserable?" She cannot believe you are man enough to not respond and start to have fun without her. The fact you are indifferent (which you really aren't but the silence is speaking as if you are) she is shocked and her ego is bruised. Don't look at anything she is doing in Israel and continue to do what you are doing. Never ever eveeeeer be scared to walk away from someone who does things to disrespect you. I'm proud of you man for going down this path. Anything you say to her will make you seem weak - but your silence has made you appear to be the strongest man alive. I agree with lauri. Your ex/girlfriends ego is bruised and she didn't think this would play out this way. She is trying to turn this around for her. She thought she could just do whatever she wanted on her trip and you would just take it. Ignoring her right now is the best response. It has the wheels in her head spinning trying to find out what is going on with you. You didn't like her behaviour and thought that her actions are disrespectful of your relationship. You stood up for yourself and are sending a strong message to her that you won't tolerate being treated like this. Good for you! 4 Link to post Share on other sites
drallafi Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 She sent this to me last night after she saw my snapchat stories of me black out drunk partying with friends: "I really need talk to you will you please text or call me at least" Ignore. Ignore. Block her #. And ignore some more. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 I agree with lauri. Your ex/girlfriends ego is bruised and she didn't think this would play out this way. She is trying to turn this around for her. She thought she could just do whatever she wanted on her trip and you would just take it. Ignoring her right now is the best response. It has the wheels in her head spinning trying to find out what is going on with you. You didn't like her behaviour and thought that her actions are disrespectful of your relationship. You stood up for yourself and are sending a strong message to her that you won't tolerate being treated like this. Good for you! I agree with both Lauri and you. I think she's also trying to get the OP to react with upset, anger, or whatnot, so that she can say that the breakup was because of the OP's behaviour, rather than her own. From her point of view: "I had to break up with him because he was jealous." Is preferable to: "We broke up because I cheated." Maintain NC. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
drallafi Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 Never ever eveeeeer be scared to walk away from someone who does things to disrespect you. I'm proud of you man for going down this path. Anything you say to her will make you seem weak - but your silence has made you appear to be the strongest man alive. This is some gospel, especially the last part. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
lolablue17 Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 She was the one who started communicating through insulting pics on snapchat. But now when she realized that you can also know that language, now she suddenly "wants to talk"? The relationship is already over. What you build here is your self respect, your ego, and you get control of the situation. In the last few days you were ignoring her completely. I bet you didn't get so many texts from her before you started ignoring her. It already works. Ignore! Don't make a sound. (except the sound of a snapchat ) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 She sent this to me last night after she saw my snapchat stories of me black out drunk partying with friends: "I really need talk to you will you please text or call me at least" Pay attention to what she's telling you: I really needwhich tells you everything you need to know about what she's worried about. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author kylej Posted July 18, 2015 Author Share Posted July 18, 2015 (edited) Thanks guys. Another update She is really trying to contact me now. She's called me twice this morning and an hour ago she texted and said, "kylej, call me" followed by "hi". Not sure what to make it of but its funny how once I go out and have fun she suddenly cares. Idk maybe she just wants some closure. Edited July 18, 2015 by kylej Link to post Share on other sites
Grumpybutfun Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 Thanks guys. Another update She is really trying to contact me now. She's called me twice this morning and an hour ago she texted and said, "kylej, call me" followed by "hi". Not sure what to make it of but its funny how once I go out and have fun she suddenly cares. Idk maybe she just wants some closure. She feels guilty...she knows something is wrong....you ignored her therefore your worth just shot up because she knows you could dump her. When you went out with your friends, she thought wow, he is just moving on without me. People,like to be the person breaking up as it feeds their ego. Do not bite. She doesn't get to ignore you, take pics with men, talk about possibly cheating on you, and then change her tune once you figure out she had behaved poorly. Honestly, the way she told you not to sell the shoes makes me think she is still after those shoes and this has nothing to do with you. Man, she wanted to be single in Israel so she acted single....she doesn't get to just be a part of your life when she gets back. When she gets back she can contact you for her stuff, but don't waste your time on someone who is so disrespectful to you. Your girl is supposed to be 100% into you, not snapchatting inappropriate pics of her with other men. That's just crass. Good luck, Grumps 5 Link to post Share on other sites
lauri Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 Thanks guys. Another update She is really trying to contact me now. She's called me twice this morning and an hour ago she texted and said, "kylej, call me" followed by "hi". Not sure what to make it of but its funny how once I go out and have fun she suddenly cares. Idk maybe she just wants some closure. No, she doesn't want closure. She wants CONTROL. You have it all now - keep it up. Like I said, she's shocked you're "indifferent". Everything she does from here on will be extremely predictable. She's going to start to go nuts soon, you'll see. Her main concern now is going to be you hate her and she can't live with that. She may start messaging you saying she is sick, that something important is up, etc. Don't give her any relief - she cheated she has to live with it. Her interest in you has peaked due to you disappearing but do not mistake that for it something that is sustainable. She cheated on you which means she has no respect for you. She thinks of you as someone who was gonna accept everything that was happening and take her back - but your actions shows you're actually a man and someone a lot more desirable then she realised. Notice how you proved that without saying a word? BUT, with that said, this is over forever. Your exgirlfriends actions are nothing new. All you can do is continue to not respond, continue to move on and accept that she isn't anyone worth having a long term relationship with. If she ever does get you to respond, she will try to turn the tables on you as soon as she possibly can. Don't give her any chance to pull you into her world , just continue to keep her outside of yours. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
lolablue17 Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 Listen to everyone here. She wants control!! She had it, until you took control by ignoring her and going out and publish it. If you answer her, you'll lose it all, she'll humiliate you by manipulations. You risk nothing. You know she has already checked out from the relationship, and you almost certain that she's cheated. So your ignoring her is totally morally legitimate. Man, move on, go have fun. forget her. Your best weapon and protection against her manipulations is your silence - She won't get even the slightest information from you about anything. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
movingonnow1 Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 You're getting solid advice here. The best thing you can do is honestly take it. I did the opposite of what every suggested and I can promise you it DOESN'T work. The more I talked to my ex, the more she disrespected me and almost built up a huge hatred to me. The steps you have taken are amazing as you are in the driver seat. Don't let her drive you..if she does you're going straight off of the road and into a ditch. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 (edited) Thanks guys. Another update She is really trying to contact me now. She's called me twice this morning and an hour ago she texted and said, "kylej, call me" followed by "hi". Not sure what to make it of but its funny how once I go out and have fun she suddenly cares. Idk maybe she just wants some closure. She's getting freaked out because things aren't going according to her plan, which was: 1. She'd come back, and you'd be very weak and upset, and accept that you are responsible for her bad behaviour. You made her do it, because you're just not good enough. 2. She'd 'comfort' you a bit, and tell you that she'll always be your friend, and that she still loves you, but is no longer 'in love' with you. 3. She walks away leaving you in pieces, while she seeks further adventures, ego intact. To her great astonishment, she's found out that you are stronger than she No contact. Edited July 18, 2015 by Satu 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts