Bumping in my trunk Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 She confirmed she's cheated, with more than 1 guy. Now I guess I'm not sure if I should forgive her. Don't. sloots gonna sloot. Please trust me and us. We've gone through this. And in my opinion, it was a bit necessary to call her as long as you had a cold/aloof tone Link to post Share on other sites
Bumping in my trunk Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 Don't fall for it! She is done man..she would never respect you if you take her back - trust me from experience. Re-read all the advice that has been given to you here - I'd send her a message now and tell her you're done with her. THIS THIS THIS THIS. Tell her you are DONE. Go find some other girl. There are thousands like her. Its not worth it to cry and beg and plead for someone like her, which exists dime a dozen 2 Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 (edited) I have no doubt that this is what made him cave honestly if you don't call me or text me I'm so ****ing over it.When faced the reality of losing her, he couldn't find the strength. But you know, if he'd only have understood what she was really thinking when she texted that: Hmm...this ****ing kylej! You know, I'm over here trying to have a good time playing Switch the Sausage with a few guys, and I post my snapchats to share that with him and my good friends, and what? He thinks I'm ignoring him because I don't pick up the phone? It's hard to talk when you've got a **** in your mouth! What doesn't he understand about that? And now he won't even talk to me? I mean I'm the one that cheated! I'm supposed to ignore HIM! **** him! Who does he think he is? My boyfriend or something?!?!? If he doesn't start showing me some respect, I'm never ****ing talking to him again!!! You must love this girl very much if you can live with that. I'll bet she's going to look good going out with some other guy wearing those shoes you got her. Edited July 19, 2015 by mightycpa 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 I feel like a kid coming home to his parents with a bad report card.. I called her. It may be hard to believe because of all the messed up stuff she has done to me the last few days, but I do love her. She confirmed she's cheated, with more than 1 guy. She wants to be with me still, I told her I might not be able to forgive her but I'd think about it. I kept all the advice I've gotten in mind when I was talking to her. I tried to maintain self respect and stay in control. I feel like I'm still in control because I can still easily text her and say I can't forgive her and never talk again. Now I guess I'm not sure if I should forgive her. Why the hell is this even something you'd consider? She cheated on you with multiple guys and you are thinking of taking her back? WTF dude? Unless you are into being a cuckold this is the worst move of all moves you could possibly make. And this is exactly why you were advised to not respond. Well, I'll say no more discussions till she gets back. Hopefully logic catches up to emotion and you send this girl packing -- though I wouldn't be surprised if she breaks up with you now that she knows you're actually considering taking her back. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author kylej Posted July 19, 2015 Author Share Posted July 19, 2015 You'll think about it?! This is exactly what I thought would happen if you spoke to her. She said the right things and tried to play with you / manipulate you. I guess her hours of preparing her script of what to say / do worked fairly effectively. Don't fall for it! She is done man..she would never respect you if you take her back - trust me from experience. Re-read all the advice that has been given to you here - I'd send her a message now and tell her you're done with her. Lauri, you've been spot on and very helpful this whole thread. Deep down I know you're right. Right now, I'm leaning towards telling her I can't do it. However, short term (this summer) I would be happier with her. All my friends are out of town the rest of the summer, so if I cut her off I'd basically be alone the rest of summer which would kinda suck. Link to post Share on other sites
lauri Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 Lauri, you've been spot on and very helpful this whole thread. Deep down I know you're right. Right now, I'm leaning towards telling her I can't do it. However, short term (this summer) I would be happier with her. All my friends are out of town the rest of the summer, so if I cut her off I'd basically be alone the rest of summer which would kinda suck. No offense Kylej, but what you've just said there is absolutely a horrible idea. All of your hard work is going down the drain with your decision to talk to her and even consider this. I can promise you that you will not be happier short term with her. All you will do is eliminate all of guilt (because what she did isn't THAT bad if you took her back, right?) and have her show you little to no respect during the entire summer. Why not spend your summer dating and meeting new girls? That sounds like a lot more fun than holding onto feelings with a girl who is clearly manipulating, bad for you and doesn't respect you. Common man, listen to your gut. Don't be like those other guys who allow / accept this type of behaviour - you're much better than that. Your phone conversation should have been short and sweet. You shouldn't have let her explain herself or even say "she is sorry" (because she is not) and that she cheated but it doesnt matter because you're the one she wants (until she finds someone else and cuts you off and pretends you're no one). 4 Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 I feel like a kid coming home to his parents with a bad report card.. I called her. It may be hard to believe because of all the messed up stuff she has done to me the last few days, but I do love her. She confirmed she's cheated, with more than 1 guy. She wants to be with me still, I told her I might not be able to forgive her but I'd think about it. I kept all the advice I've gotten in mind when I was talking to her. I tried to maintain self respect and stay in control. I feel like I'm still in control because I can still easily text her and say I can't forgive her and never talk again. Now I guess I'm not sure if I should forgive her. What was her explanation for the cheating? Link to post Share on other sites
movingonnow1 Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 No offense Kylej, but what you've just said there is absolutely a horrible idea. All of your hard work is going down the drain with your decision to talk to her and even consider this. I can promise you that you will not be happier short term with her. All you will do is eliminate all of guilt (because what she did isn't THAT bad if you took her back, right?) and have her show you little to no respect during the entire summer. Why not spend your summer dating and meeting new girls? That sounds like a lot more fun than holding onto feelings with a girl who is clearly manipulating, bad for you and doesn't respect you. Common man, listen to your gut. Don't be like those other guys who allow / accept this type of behaviour - you're much better than that. Your phone conversation should have been short and sweet. You shouldn't have let her explain herself or even say "she is sorry" (because she is not) and that she cheated but it doesnt matter because you're the one she wants (until she finds someone else and cuts you off and pretends you're no one). Not to mention, I hope you realise you've probably made it easy for her to cheat with you with a few more guys on her last few days there. You're maybe / I'll think about it means you don't consider what she did to be that bad. Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 I feel that I've said all I wanted to say in this thread, so I'll retire from it now. All the best Kylej, no matter what you choose to do. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author kylej Posted July 19, 2015 Author Share Posted July 19, 2015 What was her explanation for the cheating? Drunk, dumb, having fun, finding herself. Link to post Share on other sites
movingonnow1 Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 Drunk, dumb, having fun, finding herself. Ugh....give me a break. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Imajerk17 Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 (edited) Here is what will happen if you "take her back" kylej: She will break up with you again. This time for good. Within a matter of a couple weeks if not much sooner. She will tell you when she breaks up with you again that she "isn't going to be feeling it" as she doesn't respect you and she feels guilty as even she knows she acted shiatty. And whether you realize this or not, you will be feeling A LOT worse when she breaks up with you the second time, than you do now. Why: You will have thrown your self-respect away. You will have let her walk all over you. You can't be with someone you can't trust. And you can't trust her. Edited July 19, 2015 by Imajerk17 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Itspointless Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 What was her explanation for the cheating? kylej I am really sorry for you. And thanks Jen, I read up with this tread today, you said what I think I would have said if my English was as fluent as yours. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
irishguy Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 Not worth taking her back ,obviously she would have to do a std test and again the std results be back the summer will be over so not worth bothering .And how the feck could you trust her again . Link to post Share on other sites
ManyDissapoint Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 You need to toss her ass to the curb NOW. You have already squandered your opportunity to come out on top, don't go negative. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
FusionCutter Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 Everyone on here is saying the same thing NC. OP, if you're not going to listen, then do whatever you'll like. Then the chance is high when he cheats on you yet again and you will likely come crying back here. Everyone is telling you the same thing - think about this. I will add my vote. NC and never look back. She's treating you like utter s**** and it is sad watching you take it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
S_A Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 Drunk, dumb, having fun, finding herself. Whatever she has told you is not all of it. It's 100 times worse than anything she has told you. Do you people not have any idea what 20 somethings that visit Israel do? She went hard bro. She's willing to come back to you now because she's had all she can take. Take her back, but I doubt she could ever see you as a real man down the road, which will probably lead to her dumping you in the end anyway. Salt on that open wound. Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 Drunk, dumb, having fun, finding herself. What are your thoughts and feelings about that? Cover each item separately if you don't mind. Link to post Share on other sites
drallafi Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 I feel like a kid coming home to his parents with a bad report card.. I called her. Now I guess I'm not sure if I should forgive her. Fuck.... Dude, I understand why you called her. But check this out dude. Just listen to me man... seriously just listen... Everyone in this thread giving you advice has sat where you are sitting right now. We have... all of us... been there. Everyone in this thread didn't take that advice themselves. Everyone in this thread regrets not taking that advice. Everyone in this thread agrees on what you need to do here for the best outcome. she would never respect you if you take her back - trust me from experience. Please trust me and us. We've gone through this. I wouldn't be surprised if she breaks up with you now that she knows you're actually considering taking her back. You'll think about it?! This is exactly what I thought would happen if you spoke to her. Re-read all the advice that has been given to you here. I can promise you that you will not be happier short term with her. Here is what will happen if you "take her back" kylej: She will break up with you again. This time for good. Within a matter of a couple weeks if not much sooner. She will tell you when she breaks up with you again that she "isn't going to be feeling it" as she doesn't respect you and she feels guilty as even she knows she acted ****ty. And whether you realize this or not, you will be feeling A LOT worse when she breaks up with you the second time, than you do now. Why: You will have thrown your self-respect away. You will have let her walk all over you. You can't be with someone you can't trust. And you can't trust her. If you only listen to one post in this thread, ^^ listen to that one. He nailed it. Everyone on here is saying the same thing NC. Everyone is telling you the same thing - think about this. Take her back, but I doubt she could ever see you as a real man down the road, which will probably lead to her dumping you in the end anyway. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
drallafi Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 Alright this the last post imma make in this thread then I'm out. @kylej so listen man. At this point, I think you realize this isn't the woman you're going to marry. So a breakup is inevitable. Fact of the matter is breaking up is hard, no matter which side you are on. What you have to decide is if you wanna be messed up for the short term, or messed up for the long term. 1 If you wanna be messed up for the short term (you break up with her), then go NC, stay NC, give her back her stuff when she returns, never talk to her again. This will be haaard for about a month, and then you will start to feel normal again. 2 If you wanna be messed up for the long term (she breaks up with you), then by all means keep talking to her, catering to her and take her back. Give her the shoes and pretend nothing happened. As everyone in this thread has told you, this is your fate if you take her back. It just is. We've all been there man. Make your choice. Link to post Share on other sites
Gus Grimly Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 So much awesome advice in this thread. The only problem is it seems to be falling on deaf ears. There are many suggestions that have given me much needed insight into my own BU and relationship problems. So the advice has definitely helped, it's just been ineffective to the one in which it was directed. That's unfortunate. Thanks all for the support and knowledge. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
movingonnow1 Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 Wanna know the hardest thing for me to swallow? That my ex girlfriend, who said she "loved me", did the most sexual things with the guy she cheated on me with. Things I tried to do with her that she said she "wouldn't do". Then one day, I found conversations with a guy speaking of things that were beyond what I thought "my angel" would do. After I confronted her saying you cheated on me and you did things you said you would never do with another man, she told me she'd do these things with me if I stay - she just didn't want me to think she was a "slut". The truth is, it was because she didn't find me desirable enough. That is when I learned you cannot negotiate attraction. Simply put, your ex most likely did the "naughtiest" things with multiple guys...things shes never done with you. If she was really into you, this would have never happened. Seriously man...I'm disappointed you're even considering taking her back. Look at the amount of time people have taken to write and guide you. You look like you're about to throw it all away...it's sad... She's gonna use you until she builds up enough strength to leave you. I don't expect it'll take long and I expect you to be back on here heart broken and confused of "how she could do this to you?!" Link to post Share on other sites
Bumping in my trunk Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 finding herself. Yeah, she found herself with dicks all up in her mouth. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ravfour4 Posted July 20, 2015 Share Posted July 20, 2015 Only take her back if she promises to do you laundry, dishes, drive you anywhere you want to go, cook you dinner everyday, bring you drinks, give you a BJ everyday and tell you her phone password. Then tell her if she betrays your trust once more she's gone for good. See how hard she's willing to fight hahah Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted July 20, 2015 Share Posted July 20, 2015 Only take her back if she promises to do you laundry, dishes, drive you anywhere you want to go, cook you dinner everyday, bring you drinks, give you a BJ everyday and tell you her phone password. Then tell her if she betrays your trust once more she's gone for good. See how hard she's willing to fight hahah Guessing this isn't serious, but eww. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts