SummerLuvR Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 I will let everyone know. I have been working on this younger guy at work for over a year now. :love: I just left for a new career so we can see if we stay in touch now that its not frowned upon! :laugh: Link to post Share on other sites
nouedis Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 Well it's well known that if you have a lovely personality and are ugly, you're bound to land a hot one. Proven fact. Also, if your attitude is grotesque then you're probably going to end up with someone who mistreats you. Link to post Share on other sites
LookAtThisPOst Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 Carhill - I have a male 50 year old single friend that lives by this rule. He feels, through the Meetups and other social activities that he prefers to get to know the woman as he sees her routinely at the events. Basically, let's say a group goes on a camping trip, and over time she turns out to be a real *itch. He's like, "Well, good thing I found out she was a *itch before I asked her out! LOL!" That's his philosophy in dating. I think he wants to know what kind of person they are, in a group setting, before asking them out. That's why it always baffled me when he would talk about meeting and having a nice conversation with a woman and lament about how much he had in common with her then I ask, "So, did you get her number?" And he'd be like, "Nah, I'm sure I'll see her at the next event, next week." Or something like that. I never felt dating was all, or even mostly, about looks, as described by physical beauty, but rather saw successful dating as a function of sexual attractiveness, of which physical appearance is a part. Having roamed the 'getting to know' shoulder's of the dating highway for many years, nearly two decades actually, no successful relationship or dating experience ever resulted for myself from 'getting to know' women, either tangentially through activities or within social groups, of which I had plenty. However, I did make and maintain some wonderful friendships. The key lay in sexual attractiveness. I came to, over time, understand that window was generally very brief and of course completely opaque to myself since I can't read minds. That said, with more universally attractive looks, the windows of opportunity both widen and the dependence upon the vagaries of personality, which are largely unquantifiable and constantly changing, lessens, leaving fewer opportunities to stumble while winding through the often circuitous getting to know process. The best results came from immediate expression of attraction, generally unilaterally (meaning I found a lady attractive, didn't examine if the reverse was true, and asked her out) and getting to know the lady while dating and mating with her and becoming friends as well as lovers down the road. Out of curiosity, I've tried the theory out since getting divorced and, true to form, I have no problem making wonderful female friends, even at my advanced age, but there's nothing sexual there, rather getting to know in the absence of sexual attraction. I accept that's but one speck of sand on the beach of human experience but it is my speck of sand and the results have been pretty clear. Sure, I've had girlfriends and been married but it's never been from getting to know anyone and them seeing the beauty of my personality. YMMV! Link to post Share on other sites
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