HannahRose Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 (edited) My husband watches massage videos on youtube at night... just saw it in our computer history. He says it helps him to relax so he can fall asleep. We do not sleep in the same room still. Is he full of it? Edited July 23, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator removed URL Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 If I had watched that video on my own it would have been to perfect my technique...just saying... Link to post Share on other sites
Author HannahRose Posted July 23, 2015 Author Share Posted July 23, 2015 If I had watched that video on my own it would have been to perfect my technique...just saying... Like to get better at massaging? He doesn't like to give me massages... Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 Like to get better at massaging? He doesn't like to give me massages... Yeah... but that is me.. Another viewpoint would be that I can't see how the video would be relaxing unless it was a happy ending, maybe he is using it as material for self gratification 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author HannahRose Posted July 23, 2015 Author Share Posted July 23, 2015 (edited) Yeah... but that is me.. Another viewpoint would be that I can't see how the video would be relaxing unless it was a happy ending, maybe he is using it as material for self gratification What do you mean unless it was a happy ending? Is this the type of video a guy can use for self-gratification? There are other videos, too... not just that one Is my husband a freak? Edited July 23, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator removed URL to possible commercial link Link to post Share on other sites
LoveMachine67 Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 He's probably full of it. Unless he finds it relaxing falling asleep with an erection?? I did not see any big hairy dudes receiving massages in any of those videos either. Put him to the test and ask him to give you one of those massages. Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 If he were my husband I'd make sure every nite I'm going to bed smelling nice and sweet, and with something cutesy on (which is a stretch cuz I sleep naked or with just panties) and wait till I "catch" him watching the videos and offer to "massage" him like the videos... Same I'd do if I catch him masturbating to porn. I'm not "mommy" in a RL scolding dude wacking off to a Playboy in his room, shower, etc. I'm my man's "lover" and last thing I want him to have to resort to relying on the Internet for stuff I can do for him. I sometimes turn on my meditation playlists on my laptop if I'm having trouble sleeping (cuz MP3/iPod in bed is too much headache) and yes, sometimes masturbating helps me go to sleep better than trying to go on my own. Puts me out like a light!!! So, he probably needs the "release" to relax, wind down, and go to bed. Link to post Share on other sites
Author HannahRose Posted July 23, 2015 Author Share Posted July 23, 2015 He's probably full of it. Unless he finds it relaxing falling asleep with an erection?? I did not see any big hairy dudes receiving massages in any of those videos either. Put him to the test and ask him to give you one of those massages. I think the second video was a guy. There is one in our history with a guy getting a message. So, the first video is enough to give a guy an erection, correct? Link to post Share on other sites
Author HannahRose Posted July 23, 2015 Author Share Posted July 23, 2015 If he were my husband I'd make sure every nite I'm going to bed smelling nice and sweet, and with something cutesy on (which is a stretch cuz I sleep naked or with just panties) and wait till I "catch" him watching the videos and offer to "massage" him like the videos... Same I'd do if I catch him masturbating to porn. I'm not "mommy" in a RL scolding dude wacking off to a Playboy in his room, shower, etc. I'm my man's "lover" and last thing I want him to have to resort to relying on the Internet for stuff I can do for him. I sometimes turn on my meditation playlists on my laptop if I'm having trouble sleeping (cuz MP3/iPod in bed is too much headache) and yes, sometimes masturbating helps me go to sleep better than trying to go on my own. Puts me out like a light!!! So, he probably needs the "release" to relax, wind down, and go to bed. I'm not even going to bother with this guy... screw him. Link to post Share on other sites
hoping2heal Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 Ah....is he watching ASMR videos? Link to post Share on other sites
Author HannahRose Posted July 23, 2015 Author Share Posted July 23, 2015 Ah....is he watching ASMR videos? I'm not sure what you mean. What are ASMR videos? Link to post Share on other sites
Author HannahRose Posted July 23, 2015 Author Share Posted July 23, 2015 Ah....is he watching ASMR videos? Just googled it... yes he is. The websites for ASMR massage have been viewed on our computer. What does it mean that he is googling this stuff? Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 I'm not even going to bother with this guy... screw him. Alrighty then, so like one of Chris Rock's jokes, dude can't get any from you or happiness on his own? Link to post Share on other sites
Author HannahRose Posted July 23, 2015 Author Share Posted July 23, 2015 Alrighty then, so like one of Chris Rock's jokes, dude can't get any from you or happiness on his own? I was willing until he decided to sleep on the couch for most of our marriage and now I find him watching these weird videos. Why bother? Link to post Share on other sites
LoveMachine67 Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 I think the second video was a guy. There is one in our history with a guy getting a message. So, the first video is enough to give a guy an erection, correct? I can't speak as to how it affected your husband, but it left me a bit un-relaxed If I were him, I'd be begging to give you a massage right about now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author HannahRose Posted July 23, 2015 Author Share Posted July 23, 2015 I can't speak as to how it affected your husband, but it left me a bit un-relaxed If I were him, I'd be begging to give you a massage right about now. So, what do you suggest? He is not begging to give me massages. He doesn't like to give me massages. Honestly, I just wanted to see if he was full of it. The marriage is pretty much useless at this point. Link to post Share on other sites
LoveMachine67 Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 So, what do you suggest? He is not begging to give me massages. He doesn't like to give me massages. Honestly, I just wanted to see if he was full of it. The marriage is pretty much useless at this point. How is your sex life currently? Before you give up, have either of you sought any type of counseling? Have you asked him to give you a massage just like the one in the video? If not ask him and see how he responds. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author HannahRose Posted July 23, 2015 Author Share Posted July 23, 2015 How is your sex life currently? Before you give up, have either of you sought any type of counseling? Have you asked him to give you a massage just like the one in the video? If not ask him and see how he responds. We don't have a sex life. We don't sleep in the same room. He's been sleeping on the couch for years even though he knows it bothers me. We only occasionally do stuff. I did just have a baby, so we did it a couple of times 9 months ago. Maybe a few more times during the pregnancy. I have to beg him to massage me. I refuse to beg him for anything ever again. We've had counseling (years ago) and he blamed me for him not sleeping in the bed. But, it's him. I tried begging him to sleep in our bed, but I gave up. No more begging him (or even asking him) for anything. Link to post Share on other sites
LoveMachine67 Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 We don't have a sex life. We don't sleep in the same room. He's been sleeping on the couch for years even though he knows it bothers me. We only occasionally do stuff. I did just have a baby, so we did it a couple of times 9 months ago. Maybe a few more times during the pregnancy. I have to beg him to massage me. I refuse to beg him for anything ever again. We've had counseling (years ago) and he blamed me for him not sleeping in the bed. But, it's him. I tried begging him to sleep in our bed, but I gave up. No more begging him (or even asking him) for anything. Sorry Hannah, I just took a quick look at your previous posts. I think you should consider getting out of this nightmare of a marriage. It sounds like he's checked out already anyway. Do you want to deal with his treatment for another 2 or 6 years? Sorry but I do not see anything worth saving in this marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
Author HannahRose Posted July 23, 2015 Author Share Posted July 23, 2015 Sorry Hannah, I just took a quick look at your previous posts. I think you should consider getting out of this nightmare of a marriage. It sounds like he's checked out already anyway. Do you want to deal with his treatment for another 2 or 6 years? Sorry but I do not see anything worth saving in this marriage. Yeah, it's pretty bad. I don't see any other choice... I don't believe in divorce unless he cheats. Looks like he is getting pretty close, if he isn't already there. Link to post Share on other sites
LoveMachine67 Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 Yeah, it's pretty bad. I don't see any other choice... I don't believe in divorce unless he cheats. Looks like he is getting pretty close, if he isn't already there. Hannah, you should not wait for adultery to end a bad marriage. I see your treatment as a form of abuse, which to me is actually worse than adultery. It sounds like you're the victim of passive aggressive behavior from him as well, for example, refusing to sleep in the same bed with you and denying you sex. Has he expressed an interest in ending the marriage? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author HannahRose Posted July 23, 2015 Author Share Posted July 23, 2015 (edited) Hannah, you should not wait for adultery to end a bad marriage. I see your treatment as a form of abuse, which to me is actually worse than adultery. It sounds like you're the victim of passive aggressive behavior from him as well, for example, refusing to sleep in the same bed with you and denying you sex. Has he expressed an interest in ending the marriage? Only when I suggest it. He actually just begged me not to leave him and said he'll do better. Then he said mean stuff when I didn't agree. Edited July 23, 2015 by HannahRose Link to post Share on other sites
LoveMachine67 Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 Only when I suggest it. He actually just begged me not to leave him and said he'll do better. Then he said mean stuff when I didn't agree. I'm sorry you are faced with this. But I just don't see your marital situation improving, especially since you've tried counseling and it failed. I hope you have family to turn to for support should you decide to end the marriage. Without knowing your age, just ask yourself how many more of your years you want to give this man? Link to post Share on other sites
Author HannahRose Posted July 23, 2015 Author Share Posted July 23, 2015 I'm sorry you are faced with this. But I just don't see your marital situation improving, especially since you've tried counseling and it failed. I hope you have family to turn to for support should you decide to end the marriage. Without knowing your age, just ask yourself how many more of your years you want to give this man? I've been asking myself this for years. :/ 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 Yeah, it's pretty bad. I don't see any other choice... I don't believe in divorce unless he cheats. Looks like he is getting pretty close, if he isn't already there. Why would you have a child with him given the state of your marriage ??? Mr. Lucky 6 Link to post Share on other sites
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