Is it cheating

[angelchick]

I hope someone can give me some advice!!!

 

The other day I made the huge mistake of violating my boyfriend's privacy by checking his email. I found out that he visited a website where you look at other people's pictures and rank them. Anyway, he emailed some other girl whose picture he saw on the website. He told her she was beautiful, asked her where she lived, and told her to email him back. I asked him about and he said that he had never emailed any girl online. Then, when I told him what I had done, he "remembered" emailing this girl. His defense is that it was not anything more than friendly and that he liked to meet people. Now, I feel like I can't trust him. He lied about this, so he will probably lie again. And I would never know. My boyfriend is not the type to change for anyone. I love him very much and do not want to end our 8 month relationship, but this is really affecting me. It hurt me a lot. He says he is satisfied with our relationship and that he loves me. So why would he do something like this? Is it just harmless? Should I just forget it and move on? What should I do?

[racheal]

Wow I did the same thing and by accident found out that my boyfriend was emailing girls he liked the look of too from websites. I cant believe all men use the same excuse of "I was only being friendly!" In my case being friendly then evolved into something else for my boyfriend. I accepted this excuse and he carried on happily. He became more and more involved in the lives of these girls - first emails, calls, sms and then meetings.

 

I was so hurt and I believe he was cheating on me - because so many lies were told to hide the fact he was in touch with these girls. He was in control of the situation and wanted to get to know these girls. So in my eyes he is hurting our relationship knowingly and being unfaithful! Confront him now and make it clear that this behaviour hurts you and destroys trust. Believe me my boyfriend would tell me he loved me and convince me I was being silly to think the worst. Then the same day he would arrange his first meeting with his internet "friend" (I found out later).

 

The hardest thing is trying to see the real truth when you love the guy and he confuses you with his own theories of why he needs to make contact with these girls. It isnt just being friendly - its a flirt that could develop into nothing or really mess things up!

I hope someone can give me some advice!!!

 

The other day I made the huge mistake of violating my boyfriend's privacy by checking his email. I found out that he visited a website where you look at other people's pictures and rank them. Anyway, he emailed some other girl whose picture he saw on the website. He told her she was beautiful, asked her where she lived, and told her to email him back. I asked him about and he said that he had never emailed any girl online. Then, when I told him what I had done, he "remembered" emailing this girl. His defense is that it was not anything more than friendly and that he liked to meet people. Now, I feel like I can't trust him. He lied about this, so he will probably lie again. And I would never know. My boyfriend is not the type to change for anyone. I love him very much and do not want to end our 8 month relationship, but this is really affecting me. It hurt me a lot. He says he is satisfied with our relationship and that he loves me. So why would he do something like this? Is it just harmless? Should I just forget it and move on? What should I do?

[Anne]

You should first let him know how much this is bothering you. It is important that you communicate your feelings especially when they are as strong as yours. When it comes to a lot of people, they are just curious. His intent may just be for entertainment purposes, but nothing serious. Consider your self.. what if he caught you talking to another guy that was completely innocent. What would you do? Never jump to conclusions, always consider all the possibilities.. maybe he was just bored.

 

But do make sure you discuss this with him, it's the only way your relationship will continue to grow.

[unnamed]

After reading this, I believe he is still lying to you. He went onto a site dedicated to the "best looking" women. He found one, and E-mailed her. Are you sure he just liked to meet people? If so, does he do this all the time?

 

How many times does he do this in chatrooms, add random people to his ICQ list or something similar? Chances are, he doesn't.

 

He thought this girl was beautiful, and wanted to flirt with her online. Get her attention. Nothing more.

 

Ask him why he choose her over the thousands of other people online every minute waiting to chat.

 

I'm sure you two can work through this, though, and definetely tell him how you feel.

 

By the way, what you did was not grand either. Everyone makes mistakes, but at least you didn't lie about it. He didn't forget. Trust me. Why? I'm a male.

I hope someone can give me some advice!!!

 

The other day I made the huge mistake of violating my boyfriend's privacy by checking his email. I found out that he visited a website where you look at other people's pictures and rank them. Anyway, he emailed some other girl whose picture he saw on the website. He told her she was beautiful, asked her where she lived, and told her to email him back. I asked him about and he said that he had never emailed any girl online. Then, when I told him what I had done, he "remembered" emailing this girl. His defense is that it was not anything more than friendly and that he liked to meet people. Now, I feel like I can't trust him. He lied about this, so he will probably lie again. And I would never know. My boyfriend is not the type to change for anyone. I love him very much and do not want to end our 8 month relationship, but this is really affecting me. It hurt me a lot. He says he is satisfied with our relationship and that he loves me. So why would he do something like this? Is it just harmless? Should I just forget it and move on? What should I do?