mysanity Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 Why am I feeling stupid these days? heres why- I have these couple friend, and as a good friend I usually am the third party- who listens to wifeys problems with her husband etc etc... at the other end the husband - having this close personality type started confiding in me- (with her wifes knowledge coz i usually tell her - so everything will be clear) months passed by- he became more and more open- and everytime somethings wrong he would confide- even with the sex life as we are two open minded people i didnt gave no malice or whatso ever- One time Ive notice that his messages thru text is becoming flirtatious- and even sent me a foto for a morning greeting! I asked him and told him directly if he is flirting with me to stop it- because i value the friendship more than anything- he seemed to heed my advice because he would sedn mormal messages but then everytime we get so comftable with chatting he would again start flirting- repeating the same line to him --(i wouldnt deny the fact that i was flattered by his interest in me, ) One day he gave me this lift to work (with wifes knowledge) as i was going out of the car, he pulled me and tried to kiss me! I pushed him away telling him not to try anything like that again- Months passed by we continued chatting being open- Him being extra caring with my regards, being sweet and evrything I cnt put my finger on it- but its like we have this mutual undertsnding with each other, well atleast i thought so Last month i fell into temptation- it was a stressfull day for both of us so we decided to go crazy and go bar and food hopping- Yes- at the end of the night it was not just drinks and food But we did it! It wasnt great coz at the end i feel bad and feeling like a fool--- After that thing he sent me a msg saying " im sorry- but i do love my wife" its like WHAT THE ****??? 1. I never asked u anything 2. I tried to pushed you away for sooo long!!! 3. I was the one who always gives value to the friendship Now its like?? what the hell-- oh MEN! Im really done with guys! Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 Tell the wife what you two did. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
GypsyGirl966 Posted August 1, 2015 Share Posted August 1, 2015 Tell the wife what you two did. Yes, before he does. You need to get your story out there first. Link to post Share on other sites
Ms. Faust Posted August 1, 2015 Share Posted August 1, 2015 I agree, tell Wifey. Link to post Share on other sites
hoping2heal Posted August 1, 2015 Share Posted August 1, 2015 You seem rather unaware of your own culpability in what happened. 2. I tried to pushed you away for sooo long!!! But, you really didn't. He tried to kiss you and he is married to your friend. This was boundary warning number 1. You didn't heed the warning and distance yourself. You didn't say "You know, I'm sorry but I can no longer be your confidant. This is building an inappropriate intimacy". Just because you waited before having sex with him doesn't mean you pushed him away. You did just the opposite of that. 3. I was the one who always gives value to the friendship Again, no, not really. The wife knew he was a confidant but did she know about all of the "sweet" and "caring" he was bestowing upon you also? Did she know about his attempt to kiss you? Again, that was a warning of a boundary about to be crossed and you did not heed, you went right over it. So, you ended up being used for sex by a man who realized he only needed to tell you what you want to hear. You can't "Ugh Men" this guy when it was you who were your own worst enemy. Now its like?? what the hell-- oh MEN! Im really done with guys! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Chriskey2015 Posted August 13, 2015 Share Posted August 13, 2015 I think you have to tell to his wife what you both did 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted August 13, 2015 Share Posted August 13, 2015 So you tried to push him away multiple times but decided to go have drinks and food with him... and your response to all this is OH MEN? I'm sorry, at what point did he pull out the handkerchief full of chloroform? Oh, it was consensual? Right. Time to own up to your own actions. Don't ever put yourself into this situation ever again. It could have ended WAY worse. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Try Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 everytime we get so comftable with chatting he would again start flirting- repeating the same line to him --(i wouldnt deny the fact that i was flattered by his interest in me, ) One day he gave me this lift to work (with wifes knowledge) as i was going out of the car, he pulled me and tried to kiss me! I pushed him away telling him not to try anything like that again- Months passed by we continued chatting being open You keep saying "with wifes knowledge" and that you were "open" with the wife about everything, yet you did not tell the wife that he was flirting with you and that he tried to kiss you. You were not open with the wife at all. You instead abused her trust and secretly enjoyed the flattering attention of her husband behind her back. And when the husband ended it with you after he got the strange with you that wanted, you are mad at the husband because you were interested in furthering the relationship and he was not. Why do you even call her a friend, when clearly you are not a real friend of hers? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 And....with friends like you who needs..... That's what comes to my mind when I read this. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 This isn't about 'guys.' This is about you, and what you did with your friends husband. You're not her friend, anyway. You're just somebody she knows. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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