Alcohol Dependence/Withdrawal...???

[Stay_Gold]

Been drinking alcohol for almost 10 years now. Started when I was 21.

 

4 of those years were what I would call "heavy" drinking. College, parties, clubs, bar hopping and happy hours almost every other weekend.

 

The other 6 years are what I would call "Light" to "Medium" drinking. Mainly...backyard bbq's, get-togethers, weddings, showers and small events.

 

Sad to say...these 10 years have taken a "DEFINITE TOLL".

 

Because...I started to notice what alcohol was doing to me and my dependence on it for social interactions and relations.

 

Sad to say...I really think I am an "alcoholic" even though I have never been diagnosed by a medical professional. If anything...I could be one of those "High Functioning Alcoholics".

 

I am in the process of "weaning/withdrawal" and have been doing it for about 3-4 years now. I mainly try and stay within 1-2 drinks a week or 3-5 drinks a month. Stopped attending all the parties, events, weddings, showers, birthdays and pretty much anything to do with alcohol.

 

Some things I noticed:

 

1. My mind thinks of alcohol on the "weekends" (Friday-Sunday).

 

2. I get somewhat "jealous" when I find out that a friend went drinking at a club/party/bar/event without inviting me.

 

3. I get really "anxious" when alcohol is around at a event/place and sometimes look "forward" to someone/friend offering me a beer/drink/cocktail/shot.

 

4. I sometimes "hope" or "wish" that a friend would call me when the weekend rolls around to go to a bar/club/party/event.

 

The "CRAZIEST" thing I have noticed is my body and its reaction to alcohol now:

 

1. I can't drink as much as I used to.

 

2. Alcohol makes me really EMOTIONAL, NARCISSISTIC and DEPRESSED all the time now...when before (4-5 years ago)...it mainly made me "Happy", "Social", "Enjoyable", "Cheerful".

 

Questions/Concerns:

 

1. Liver Cancer/Disease/Complications...??

 

2. Alcohol withdrawal...leading to depression...??? (alcohol was a "friend"/"crutch")

 

If I can not go off alcohol "forever/good" because its been such a "good" friend after all these years...

 

3. What is my only option for living the rest of my life with alcohol (especially since I am still pretty young)...???

 

HELP...?!??!?!

Edited July 24, 2015 by Stay_Gold

[carhill]

It seems you are experiencing anxiety surrounding your perceptions of alcohol and social interactions which may include it. IMO, you're far from dependence or alcoholism. For most alcoholics I know, 1-2 shots or drinks is a good start - in the morning. I remember one LS'er plowed through enough vodka to put her to sleep at the dinner table and I had to clean up. She literally started dosing off in her plate. What you're describing is nothing approaching that kind of situation.

 

However, your concerns are valid so you can work them.

 

Do you have any alcohol around the house? How do you feel about that?

 

For example, I've got some 805 (beer) in the fridge for/from when I go to friend's places at the beach. It just sits there in the box otherwise. There's one bottle of vodka in the freezer that I bought a month ago, about 1/2 empty now. I have no positive or negative feelings about either. I might have a vodka/tonic later....er, nope, no tonic so either lime twist on the rocks or nothing. Depends on how I feel.

 

How do you feel? Like right now. I think that's really important.

 

I have male friends who are functional alcoholics. I'm the DD because I can take it or leave it. If it's DD night, I leave it. That's how it's always been.

 

Absent specific feelings about alcohol which you might feel are unhealthy for you, I'd describe your consumption as light to infrequent. Essentially, you're a bad customer for any entity selling alcohol. Unprofitable. Up to you how you process the rest.

[RocketQueen]

Hi,

In my experience as an observer of people with drink problems I would say anything that is a concern to you is an issue. The good news is that you're identifying it.

 

While the amount you consume doesn't seem to be a huge amount the fact that you know it's some kind of crutch for you tells me you know you could head down that path.

 

Alcohol is a depressant so it's logical that you will feel emotional when you drink- add on to that the guilt you might not even realise you're feeling and it's a cocktail (forgive the pun) for drinking to not be a particularly enjoyable experience.

 

My ex started to realise he had a problem with drink although the amounts were alarming. He tried not drinking during the week and would binge on a weekend. He was a functioning alcoholic for years, way before we ever realised he had a problem.

 

I would seek advice while your drinking will be easier to control. It's not the amount but how you feel about the drink. I don't mean to sound like the voice of doom but my ex's story didn't have an happy ending and we laid him to rest at the age of 40.

 

You are in a fantastic position to not let this be an issue to you. The liver is a wonderful organ that can repair minimal damage.

 

You can have a life without alcohol and I think with a bit of help understanding the emotional attachment to it you could change your mindset and not have to live without it.

 

I wish you well and commend you on posting this

[Bubberfly]

Please don't take this the wrong way, I am in no way putting labels on you...

But have you tried going to AA meetings or Alanon?

 

I am not a drinker (have never touched the stuff) but I have been to both meetings due to family members with serious alcohol addictions. I ask this not because I think you are an alcoholic, but because you might be able to meet people there who you can share your situation with and listen to theirs. I have met many wonderful people who have been sober for YEARS but they keep going, not only to keep their drinking in check but for the comraderee.

 

I think maybe doing this (they're usually free) or finding a counselor where you can talk about your anxieties with this may help.

 

Also, I was a little worried about how you said that you no longer go to social functions because there might be alcohol there. I hate to say it, there are MANY places that will have alcohol there and avoiding them will only isolate you more. Do you have a "dry" buddy to go with? Someone who doesn't drink? I understand how difficult it is being a non-drinker in a world of "it's no big deal it's just one beer." I am always more than happy to accompany friends who are trying not to drink, it always makes them more at ease when they don't feel like they're the only one without alcohol in their hands. Ask around with acquaintances to see who does/doesn't imbibe.

 

I think it's great that you've accepted that this is something you want to change about yourself. That's the first step to making any positive changes and it sounds like you're working toward them. Good luck!

[Michelle ma Belle]

I only have two words for you...Alcoholics Anonymous.

 

First, congratulations for being able to acknowledge that you have a drinking problem and for at least "trying" to do something about it. That is half the battle.

 

Second, success isn't possible without help. As much as I may admire your tenacity there is no need to white knuckle your way through sobriety. You are only setting yourself up for failure.

 

I have a LOT of experience dealing with alcoholics that run the gamut so please hear me when I say to you "Get some help!".

 

You don't need to do this alone. AA is an AMAZING program and can literally change your life for the better.

 

This is a life-long disease and you're going to need people around you that support you and understand what you're going through.

 

It's worth a visit.

 

Good luck.

[kenmore]

Hmm. What you describe is hardly an alcohol problem. That said, most people with alcohol problems will minimize it. I'm not on a witch hunt, but honestly I'm wondering why you are as concerned as you are if you only drink as much as you said. I'm with Carhill that what you describe is not a problem and if you can go days without a drink, just go cold turkey. The feelings should pass in awhile.

 

If it's deeper than that then maybe you do need help. I feel AA is problematic in that it's religious and if you're not, you won't care for it. It's based upon "God taking your addiction from you and giving you the strength to go on without it" and while that's a lovely message, it doesn't sit with some people. If you're a good church going dude, knock yourself out!

 

The sad truth is there is really no good proven cure for it for the majority of people. That's why it's such a prevalent problem in this society...that and because it's legal. Your only real hope is within. You seem to resent it and want to give it up. If that's true, then use that power! The most sure way to quit ANY addiction is the desire to want it gone from your life.

 

I wish you well in this and obviously it's important to you otherwise you would not have posted this. I wish you the strength to just walk away. I sense in you a quality that you recognize the problem but another quality that causes you to be a slave to it. Use the first to kill the second and like Bubberfly said, definitely don't avoid social situations because of this. That will slowly destroy you.

 

Best of luck!

 

Ken

[Clarence_Boddicker]

You're an alcoholic, which is a lifelong disease. To be successful in recovery, you need to deal with the reasons for drinking, not just the drinking. Alcoholism is an addiction. I'm no expert, but I used to listen to Loveline for many years. I'd look into the stuff Dr Drew says about addiction recovery.

[Goodbye]

I'm in long term recovery.

 

FYI..."Alcoholic" isn't a real term. It is a random descriptor and everyone has a different definition. The real term is Substance Use Disorder. You can be dependent or not. It sounds like you are not physically dependent. But, your emotional preoccupation suggests you are emotionally dependent.

 

I was emotionally dependent. There are many ways to enter a life of recovery. AA is NOT the only show in town. There are cognitive behavioral programs as well, and since you seem to have problems with associating situations with alcohol and are developing social anxiety without it, this could be the way to go. Regardless of the program or technique you choose...just know that you CAN live a fulfilling life without alcohol. The longer you are sober and learn that you can have a fun and fulfilling life without numbing yourself or wasting mental energy thinking about drinking, the easier it becomes and the emotional preoccupation subsides. Sober becomes the new normal. I've been sober for 8 years now. It took a good year of abstinence to alleviate the preoccupation. It took another year to fill my life with activities that do not involve drinking. And another year to find new friends who don't base their whole social lives around drinking. I love my new life. I no longer understand why people find it necessary to work so damn hard to "moderate" their drinking, when just NOT drinking at all is often the easier solution.

 

Wishing you the best on this journey. PM me if you want any info.