sportygirl89 Posted July 24, 2015 Share Posted July 24, 2015 People always say the only person who can make you happy is you. If you aren't happy how do you fix it? Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted July 24, 2015 Share Posted July 24, 2015 1. Find your modes of happiness; unless you're clinically depressed, there will be aspects of your life, even if discrete, which bring you joy and contentment 2. Spend time around happy, positive, inclusive people. We pick up vibes in social situations and can take them in. The inclusive part is so they're not throwing their happiness at you, rather including you and validating you in their milieu 3. Don't expect miracles. Pick one success for today, even a small one, that satisfies you and make it today's focus point for positive thoughts. One day at a time. Emotional states, as a set point, take time to settle out. Let go of immediate gratification desire. 4. If you get stuck and this goes on for months, seek professional help. Nothing wrong with getting advice and/or tools from a professional. I'd also suggest a baseline physical, today, complete with blood panels. Happiness is a state of mind and our mind is an electro-chemical machine and things can go haywire in it. A doctor can assess the body for clues. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
RoseVille Posted July 24, 2015 Share Posted July 24, 2015 1. Find your modes of happiness; unless you're clinically depressed, there will be aspects of your life, even if discrete, which bring you joy and contentment 2. Spend time around happy, positive, inclusive people. We pick up vibes in social situations and can take them in. The inclusive part is so they're not throwing their happiness at you, rather including you and validating you in their milieu 3. Don't expect miracles. Pick one success for today, even a small one, that satisfies you and make it today's focus point for positive thoughts. One day at a time. Emotional states, as a set point, take time to settle out. Let go of immediate gratification desire. 4. If you get stuck and this goes on for months, seek professional help. Nothing wrong with getting advice and/or tools from a professional. I'd also suggest a baseline physical, today, complete with blood panels. Happiness is a state of mind and our mind is an electro-chemical machine and things can go haywire in it. A doctor can assess the body for clues. I like this list. 2. is critically important. You become like the 5 people you spend the most time with. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author sportygirl89 Posted July 24, 2015 Author Share Posted July 24, 2015 I like this list. 2. is critically important. You become like the 5 people you spend the most time with. My issue is I don't have much of social support. Unfortunately that won't happen until I leave this area. Almost leaves me no motivation to finish my grad program. Link to post Share on other sites
Clarence_Boddicker Posted July 24, 2015 Share Posted July 24, 2015 Write a list of realistic activities & goals that you want to pursue & that you enjoy. Write a list of stuff that is making you unhappy. You can't change everything, but you can change a lot. Link to post Share on other sites
SpiralOut Posted July 24, 2015 Share Posted July 24, 2015 I recommend reading The Power of Now. It will change how you look at your life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
yellowhibiscus Posted July 24, 2015 Share Posted July 24, 2015 I agree with what others have posted but I also think another huge part of my happiness in life has to do with feeling grateful. It really helps to look around you and realize everything you DO have in your life- whether its family, a job, a warm place to sleep, that $2 to buy a cup of coffee, a sunset to look at...we may not be where we want to be in life or have everything that we want but there are things that I have in my life that other people in the world would give anything to have.... This article was really interesting to me: 20 Signs You?re Doing Better Than You Think You Are | Thought Catalog 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SycamoreCircle Posted July 24, 2015 Share Posted July 24, 2015 I feel like a lot of unhappiness comes from wanting things we don't have---that could be money, love, recognition, success, etc. Practice letting go of desire for the things you want. Recognize that what you have right now is all you need. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sportygirl89 Posted July 24, 2015 Author Share Posted July 24, 2015 I think my issue is that I'm in grad school and not really happy with it. That and it has taken up a lot of time so I don't really have a social support because of it. Link to post Share on other sites
SycamoreCircle Posted July 24, 2015 Share Posted July 24, 2015 Grad school is designed to have you at your last straw perpetually. I'm sorry you're in a tough spot. Hear of any parties? I think a party or get-together would be a good way for you to blow off some steam. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted July 24, 2015 Share Posted July 24, 2015 Back when I was in college we had ad hoc study groups and, sure, we'd study and bounce ideas off each other but we'd also have pizza and beer and joke around and decompress. Anything like that go on? Link to post Share on other sites
Author sportygirl89 Posted July 24, 2015 Author Share Posted July 24, 2015 Back when I was in college we had ad hoc study groups and, sure, we'd study and bounce ideas off each other but we'd also have pizza and beer and joke around and decompress. Anything like that go on? Unfortunately no. I'm in a medical program. Most are girls. I was slowly socially outed from the group starting spring semester. I could tell I was being replaced by others . We spend essentially 9-4pm together a few days a week. Plus 12 hour clinical. This semester especially clinical is going to be tough. For that reason I'm not sure I want to continue with them. Link to post Share on other sites
Lokin4AReason Posted July 24, 2015 Share Posted July 24, 2015 its rough from what you have been writing ... but take it a day a time. if you look at the whole picture, it cant be overwhelming ... I usually write out a list of things I like and don't like. and work on it from there also at where I want to be in a year ( including at what I will be doing ) are you happy w/ your current field of study ... ? have you looked at other(s) .. ? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 24, 2015 Share Posted July 24, 2015 If you aren't happy in the program get out before you waste more money on tuition. Since it may be a situational issue, do reach out to connect with others in your program & work through the institution to get some counseling. Most grad programs understand that students sometimes need mental health help. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sportygirl89 Posted July 24, 2015 Author Share Posted July 24, 2015 My parents are paying for grad school. So I have to finish this program and can't switch and my bachelor degree was useless to begin with. My parents wanted me done in four years. I love being in the medical field but some days I wonder if the social isolation is worth it though. Link to post Share on other sites
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