kendahke Posted July 27, 2015 Share Posted July 27, 2015 (edited) s he was but not exclusively because my divorce isn't finalized yet. You're married? Man, this gets more convoluted every minute. When is the divorce finalized and executed? Edited July 27, 2015 by kendahke 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ElleD Posted July 27, 2015 Author Share Posted July 27, 2015 This is what I don't get....he doesn't want you to sleep with other men (or see other men) and you don't want him sleeping with other women, or date other women....so what would you call that? Exclusivity. You both are being silly....it is what it is. I would never want to be someone's "main girl" He sounds like pimp. I would want to be their "one and only girl". Agreed! I made it very clear to him that I want to be his one and only. But he's having a big problem with my marital status. Honestly I think he's just keeping me as the Main Girl as a defense mechanism until my divorce is finalized. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ElleD Posted July 27, 2015 Author Share Posted July 27, 2015 You're married? Man, this gets more convoluted every minute. When is the divorce finalized and executed? Divorce has already been executed months ago. Should be finalized by late summer/fall. Link to post Share on other sites
nouedis Posted July 27, 2015 Share Posted July 27, 2015 The best way to tell if he's cheating or not, is if he acts different every time you text or call him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ElleD Posted July 27, 2015 Author Share Posted July 27, 2015 The best way to tell if he's cheating or not, is if he acts different every time you text or call him. No he acted the same way every time I texted/called him. He also responded to my calls/texts in a reasonable time like always. Link to post Share on other sites
nouedis Posted July 27, 2015 Share Posted July 27, 2015 Then I don't know what the reason may be then. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ElleD Posted July 29, 2015 Author Share Posted July 29, 2015 He cancelled the trip this evening. Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted July 29, 2015 Share Posted July 29, 2015 This is one of the strangest threads I've read on here in the last few months. It was interesting reading although I still really can't make heads or tails of it after an exasperating 6 pages. Guess I picked the wrong decade to stop drinking...lol That being said, OP, you got way too drama going on for a relationship of such a short duration. This is going nowhere, methinks. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ElleD Posted July 29, 2015 Author Share Posted July 29, 2015 This is one of the strangest threads I've read on here in the last few months. It was interesting reading although I still really can't make heads or tails of it after an exasperating 6 pages. Guess I picked the wrong decade to stop drinking...lol That being said, OP, you got way too drama going on for a relationship of such a short duration. This is going nowhere, methinks. I can't believe he would do this to me! After all, HE was the one who kept asking me to come on this trip...And he was evening making reservations as late as yesterday afternoon for this trip. And all of those reservations are non refundable... I am calling into question everything he has ever said to me. I called and texted him several times this evening and he's not answering. I even went to his house. He didn't answer although I know he was there....This is bullshyt. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted July 29, 2015 Share Posted July 29, 2015 I can't believe he would do this to me! After all, HE was the one who kept asking me to come on this trip...And he was evening making reservations as late as yesterday afternoon for this trip. And all of those reservations are non refundable... I am calling into question everything he has ever said to me. I called and texted him several times this evening and he's not answering. I even went to his house. He didn't answer although I know he was there....This is bullshyt. Girl. NO. You should never have gone to his house. That just makes you look crazy and like you can't take a hint. He cancelled. It's done. Lame move on his part? Sure. But his actions are telling you he's not into you anymore. Sorry, but you have all the answers you need now - it's finished. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SummerDreams Posted July 29, 2015 Share Posted July 29, 2015 I don't know whether this trip raises red flags for cheating but his behaviour sure does for indifference. He surely doesn't care about you and doesn't want you in his personal life. I suggest you just leave him and plan something else with your friends instead than waste a summer trip with someone who openly showed you he doesn't respect you almost at all. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ElleD Posted July 29, 2015 Author Share Posted July 29, 2015 (edited) Girl. NO. You should never have gone to his house. That just makes you look crazy and like you can't take a hint. He cancelled. It's done. Lame move on his part? Sure. But his actions are telling you he's not into you anymore. Sorry, but you have all the answers you need now - it's finished. I fee like he's getting off easy...This isn't fair! You don't treat people this way. Based on his actions he probably never cared for me. This whole this was just one big GAME for him to just turn on me like this! Edited July 29, 2015 by ElleD Link to post Share on other sites
MrMeh Posted July 29, 2015 Share Posted July 29, 2015 I fee like he's getting off easy...This isn't fair! You don't treat people this way. Based on his actions he probably never cared for me. This whole this was just one big GAME for him to just turn on me like this! Just a little tip for you next time. Any guy that uses the term "main girl" is not dating material. Don't mean to be harsh here, but he never loved you and just used you for sex until he got bored. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ElleD Posted July 29, 2015 Author Share Posted July 29, 2015 Just a little tip for you next time. Any guy that uses the term "main girl" is not dating material. Don't mean to be harsh here, but he never loved you and just used you for sex until he got bored. He finally responded to my text this afternoon after I sent a second one cursing him out and telling him it was over. He was nonconfrontational and just said my text was disrespectful and I don't know what came up that caused him to cancel the trip. I told him that was bs and nothing came up, he just didnt want to go and did this on purpose to hurt me. He didn't argue or reply back after that. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 29, 2015 Share Posted July 29, 2015 ElleD I'm sorry this ended in such a messy way but honestly it's for the best. You two haven't been on the same page this whole time. You had poor communications regarding your expectations & boundaries. You are annoyed because you think this was one big game to him but all I saw was him trying, albeit in artfully, & you rejecting him. Your insistent nature while he was away didn't help. Even though you are separated from your husband and a divorce proceeding has been filed, until the divorce is granted you are technically still married. Ergo, for you to demand exclusivity from him is kind of a stretch especially when the whole OLD profile thing is factored in. I know, I know you say he never offered exclusivity but I think he tried to and was wiling to forgo other women if you moved slightly toward him but you never did. Fault is irrelevant at this point because this needs to be over but going forward, I'd get your divorce finalized & your priorities straightened out before diving into the next relationship. Perhaps a brief respite will give you clarrity 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ElleD Posted July 29, 2015 Author Share Posted July 29, 2015 ElleD I'm sorry this ended in such a messy way but honestly it's for the best. You two haven't been on the same page this whole time. You had poor communications regarding your expectations & boundaries. You are annoyed because you think this was one big game to him but all I saw was him trying, albeit in artfully, & you rejecting him. Your insistent nature while he was away didn't help. Even though you are separated from your husband and a divorce proceeding has been filed, until the divorce is granted you are technically still married. Ergo, for you to demand exclusivity from him is kind of a stretch especially when the whole OLD profile thing is factored in. I know, I know you say he never offered exclusivity but I think he tried to and was wiling to forgo other women if you moved slightly toward him but you never did. Fault is irrelevant at this point because this needs to be over but going forward, I'd get your divorce finalized & your priorities straightened out before diving into the next relationship. Perhaps a brief respite will give you clarrity How was I being insistent while he was away? After all - he promised that he would call me. And I told him the first week we met about my pending divorce. He still proceeded to date me for 3 months so that couldn't have been a deal breaker for him. And he said he wasn't bothered by my profile being up. He knew I wasn't using it anyway. Bottom line, he never had good intentions for me. He's a grown man he knows how to communicate to get what he wants, exclusivity or otherwise. He just wants to play the field and hurt people. He was just talking that relationship talk because he knew that's what I wanted and he said what he thought I wanted to hear to get more sex out of me. Well at least there's a reason why he's been single for the past 5 years and his parents are pushing him to get into a relationship. He doesn't want one, he's just playing the field - probably because he's still bitter over his own divorce and ex spouse. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ElleD Posted July 29, 2015 Author Share Posted July 29, 2015 And he backed out of the trip after I asked him for money for hotel parking and event tickets. If he couldn't afford it, he could've just said so in the first place. Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted July 29, 2015 Share Posted July 29, 2015 He finally responded to my text this afternoon after I sent a second one cursing him out and telling him it was over. He was nonconfrontational and just said my text was disrespectful and I don't know what came up that caused him to cancel the trip. I told him that was bs and nothing came up, he just didnt want to go and did this on purpose to hurt me. He didn't argue or reply back after that. Elle, I highly doubt he did it "on purpose" to hurt you. Come on. He did it because he does not give a shyt, and maybe never did.... big difference between that and intentionally wanting to hurt you. Your behavior (by texting him cursing him out) just proved to him why he does not give a shyt ... you just gave him the ammunition he needed to justify to himself why he does not give a shyt and why he did the right thing by blowing you off. The best revenge is NO revenge. You should have just ignored him. Ignore ignore ignore....that would have said a hell of a lot more than cursing him out. Now YOU look like a psycho, which again justifies to him why he lost interest and wants nothing more to do with you. I am sorry this did not work out. Lesson learned (hopefully). 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ElleD Posted July 29, 2015 Author Share Posted July 29, 2015 Elle, I highly doubt he did it "on purpose" to hurt you. Come on. He did it because he does not give a shyt, and maybe never did.... big difference between that and intentionally wanting to hurt you. Your behavior (by texting him cursing him out) just proved to him why he does not give a shyt ... you just gave him the ammunition he needed to justify to himself why he does not give a shyt and why he did the right thing by blowing you off. The best revenge is NO revenge. You should have just ignored him. Ignore ignore ignore....that would have said a hell of a lot more than cursing him out. Now YOU look like a psycho, which again justifies to him why he lost interest and wants nothing more to do with you. I am sorry this did not work out. Lesson learned (hopefully). I am Hurt! And he should know how his actions hurt me! He can't go around hurting people like this and have no consequenses for his actions! Like it's okay for him to treat people like shyt but I'm crazy for reacting to his mistreatment. That's sadistic thinking right there! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted July 29, 2015 Share Posted July 29, 2015 (edited) I am Hurt! And he should know how his actions hurt me! He can't go around hurting people like this and have no consequenses for his actions! Like it's okay for him to treat people like shyt but I'm crazy for reacting to his mistreatment. That's sadistic thinking right there! Yeah I know you are hurt...but that DOES NOT mean he intentionally set out to hurt you! Do you get that? The difference? No offense, but you sound really unbalanced. Girl, get a grip on yourself. You've lost it..... Here's a tip. People lose interest all the time. People change their minds. People date each other and realize this person is not the right person for them, and break up with them. And yes some people don't know how to share that info with their partner and end up doing things that hurt them, like blowing them off, or fading, or just breaking dates....but that STILL does not mean they were out to intentionally hurt them....and need to face dire consequences because of it. Good god what type of whacked out thinking is that? He broke up with you....big freakin whoop. It happens to ALL of us. Get over yourself. Even though your are hurt...mature grown ups DON'T lose their cool and curse their ex partners out after being dumped. They don't go to their houses demanding answers, send them nasty texts accusing them of intentionally wanting to hurt them, and godonlyknows whatever else you accused him of. They shed a few tears and realize this RL was NOT the right RL for either one of them....otherwise they would not have gotten dumped! I am sorry he hurt you, or this RL hurt you. Move on. Harboring such anger toward and lashing out at another human being is not healthy FOR YOU... and will only cause him to believe you are even more psycho than he originally thought you were. Which I would venture to guess is one of the reasons why he dumped you in the first place. Instead of harboring resentment and anger -- hold your head up high and learn from it! Edited July 29, 2015 by katiegrl 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ElleD Posted July 29, 2015 Author Share Posted July 29, 2015 Yeah I know you are hurt...but that DOES NOT mean he intentionally set out to hurt you! Do you get that? The difference? No offense, but you sound really unbalanced. Girl, get a grip on yourself. You've lost it..... Here's a tip. People lose interest all the time. People change their minds. People date each other and realize this person is not the right person for them, and break up with them. And yes some people don't know how to share that info with their partner and end up doing things that hurt them, like blowing them off, or fading, or just breaking dates....but that STILL does not mean they were out to intentionally hurt them....and need to face dire consequences because of it. Good god what type of whacked out thinking is that? He broke up with you....big freakin whoop. It happens to ALL of us. Get over yourself. Even though your are hurt...mature grown ups DON'T lose their cool and curse their ex partners out after being dumped. They don't go to their houses demanding answers, send them nasty texts accusing them of intentionally wanting to hurt them, and godonlyknows whatever else you accused him of. They shed a few tears and realize this RL was NOT the right RL for either one of them....otherwise they would not have gotten dumped! I am sorry he hurt you, or this RL hurt you. Move on. Harboring such anger toward and lashing out at another human being is not healthy FOR YOU... and will only cause him to believe you are even more psycho than he originally thought you were. Which I would venture to guess is one of the reasons why he dumped you in the first place. Instead of harboring resentment and anger -- hold your head up high and learn from it! You sound just like one of his side chicks defending him like this, hence the reason why players continue to play games. You can stop responding to my thread now since I'm so wrong and he's so right for hurting me. .. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ElleD Posted July 29, 2015 Author Share Posted July 29, 2015 You sound just like one of his side chicks defending him like this, hence the reason why players continue to play games. You can stop responding to my thread now since I'm so wrong and he's so right for hurting me. .. You don't even know the full story but yet ur quick to pass judgement on me and side with him. .you probably don't even have ur own shyt together. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 29, 2015 Share Posted July 29, 2015 ElleD Nobody is saying he was the best guy. All most of us are trying to do is get you to realize that you played a part in the demise of this "relationship." Breathe. We're not the enemy here. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted July 29, 2015 Share Posted July 29, 2015 (edited) You sound just like one of his side chicks defending him like this, hence the reason why players continue to play games. You can stop responding to my thread now since I'm so wrong and he's so right for hurting me. .. Look darlin... I did NOT say he was right and I am not defending him....so don't put words in my mouth. I don't give a shyt what HE did.... my post was not about HIM. It was about you and how irrationally YOU are handling him losing interest and breaking up with you. But you are obviously not getting that...and instead choosing to put your own histrionic spin on it...so I will happily bow out of this thread. Like I said, he lost interest and ended it....big freakin whoop! You act like what he did was a god damn federal crime! But whatever makes you feel better I guess... Good luck and wish you all the best!!! :) Edited July 29, 2015 by katiegrl 3 Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted July 29, 2015 Share Posted July 29, 2015 You don't even know the full story but yet ur quick to pass judgement on me and side with him. .you probably don't even have ur own shyt together. No sweetness.... to the contrary. I am in a happy, stable, committed RL and have been for the last five plus years....with the same man! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
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