benjamin1000 Posted July 24, 2015 Share Posted July 24, 2015 All other people are out enjoying summer, going every day on pool or sea and i am all the summer again in my room, like every year. I cant go nowhere, because i have no friends. I am not equal to others, because i didnt have all those things in past (vacations with friends, swimming in pool or sea, trips, sex, friends) that for others are normal. How can i live with this? It hurts too much... And now i cant be on the level of others anymore... people dont realize how happy they can be for all those things they had in youth. I had nothing. Link to post Share on other sites
Clarence_Boddicker Posted July 24, 2015 Share Posted July 24, 2015 Why can't you choose to enjoy the gift of life now? Do you want to be unhappy? How hard is it to walk on the beach & enjoy the feeling of the sun on your body? Swimming is not hard. Not everyone at the beach is with someone or in a group. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Lostgirl50 Posted July 24, 2015 Share Posted July 24, 2015 I agree. You can do it. Don't think too much about it cause you talk yourself out of it. Go to the beach, or pool and swim. You will not stand out cause you are alone. Just do it. Swim to your hearts content ..... Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 24, 2015 Share Posted July 24, 2015 Start slowly. Go outside & sit in your own yard. Feel the sun on your face. Join a club & smile to make a friend. Eventually it will build up to having people to do things with. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
regine_phalange Posted July 24, 2015 Share Posted July 24, 2015 How old are you? I'd love to hang out with someone like you. I think you'd be fun to be around because you'd appreciate all the small things and activities. Many times the people who do them all the time don't have as much enthusiasm. Have you looked into summer volunteering abroad? In many cases they accept all ages. My mum's generation didn't vacation with friends and didn't have sex either. But they didn't mind. They didn't know these things were important. Don't feel like a freak, and don't let the pressure and social expectations make you feel worthless. Your value as a person isn't counted by the amount of friends you have. Would you criticise someone who's lonely? I bet you wouldn't. If anything, you'd feel sympathy for them. You don't deserve to feel lower. Link to post Share on other sites
Author benjamin1000 Posted July 24, 2015 Author Share Posted July 24, 2015 Now its useless to do things, if i cant be equal to others anymore. They are on different level, i have nothing to talk to them. They experienced too much numbers on all areas Live hurts too much now... I am not from america, can't hang out with you. And beside that, i could hang with some people here, but as i said. For me there is no point, if others are better then me because of past There is no way out simply...they won compare to me... ALL... they had sex and all since 15-16 year (beautiful girls). I didnt all those years...do you see the difference in numbers here. How much joy those people experienced and i am in my room all the time. I am 29. Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted July 25, 2015 Share Posted July 25, 2015 Hi Benjamin, I can understand how it feels to feel that distance from others because they have had different experiences and seem to take it for granted. Their good fotune in having different experiences does not make them better than you. In some ways it may make them more ignorant of life than you are. You have experience of things they don't (not always good, I understand, but experience of hardship perhaps). Amongst that group of seemingly privileged people, there will be some who feel alone and apart but are putting on a brave face. Do not assume that all are happy and accepting of themselves. If you feel battered by life (mentally or physically), it might seem logical to think that others must see you as battered and in some way less than them, but actually they don't see your hurt at all, they just see a person who they could get to know. If you can realise that the way you feel about yourself is not the way others see you, that might help. It would be good if you could talk to someone about your feelings and what has happened to you. Do you have access to any form of counselling or therapy? Sometimes just talking with an understanding person can make a big difference and make you realise you are not alone in feeling so apart from others. When you've had a really tough time, you are dealing with the hurt of that and the loneliness that comes from not feeling able to share with others. Finding an understanding person can make a big difference in assimilating your experiences and working out how the effects can be reduced. You are not the only one suffering; there are others who have isolated themselves because they feel their experiences are so different from the lives of others - ex soldiers who have seen traumatic things, for example. If we saw these soldiers, we would not know what had happened to them. We would not see them as less than ourselves. We would just see another guy who seemed a bit cut off but may be a really great person to know. I'm sure you are a great person to know. Remind yourself of the strengths you have gained from your experiences - the wisdom, maturity, understanding of life (both good and bad). You have got a lot to offer others who are maybe more naive than you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 25, 2015 Share Posted July 25, 2015 Benjamin You need therapy. You are not unequal to others but until you overcome that mistaken belief you will be trapped in this isolated life. You had experiences that were different from others. Not better or worse but different. As a result you see life from a different perspective. Try interacting with somebody . . . anybody . . . to see what happens. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Author benjamin1000 Posted July 25, 2015 Author Share Posted July 25, 2015 Therapy doesnt change facts. It only makes you lie about yourself that you are indeed equal, while reality (numbers) show different. But therapy hides reality. I am not person for this. Its too late now, others are far more ahead. You dont seem to understand this. Majority of people enjoys life in youth. Minority is not important. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 25, 2015 Share Posted July 25, 2015 Therapy isn't about lying. It's about coming to terms with the facts. Your life isn't over. Don't give up. Do something make an effort to get what you want. Sitting in your room lamenting your lost childhood isn't helping so do something productive. You are the only one who can fix this. You clearly want to or you would not be here posting. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author benjamin1000 Posted July 25, 2015 Author Share Posted July 25, 2015 Compare numbers to others and you see how behind i am. How worthless compare to others. You dont understand how much developed they are because of all those experiences. I am kid, they are adult. And they can always say they won compare to me, because they experienced all more. Therefor i dont see a way out. No thing can give me thi equality anymore. I am to far behind, they all made something out of themself. I didnt. Link to post Share on other sites
lil hoodlum Posted July 25, 2015 Share Posted July 25, 2015 I am so sorry that you are hurting benjamin1000. The hurt you are feeling comes through your posts. The thing is, people in life will never be equal. For one of the reasons you cite, past experiences. It doesn't make you less than for having experience less than some people. What about others who have suffered terrible childhoods? Are they less than? There isn't anything I or anyone can do to change the past. All we can really do is try to understand it, make peace with it, and hopefully move on from it. Today is the present, a present you can give to yourself if you choose. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author benjamin1000 Posted July 25, 2015 Author Share Posted July 25, 2015 What about others who have suffered terrible childhoods? Are they less than Even those alived something. If not at 14-15, they did from 15 to 25 when they got stronger. I did nothing, was only in my room and at job. Plus this is minority. What matters is majority. Link to post Share on other sites
Helium78 Posted July 25, 2015 Share Posted July 25, 2015 I'm sorry you're feeling like this, it must be a terrible place to be. From experience and having been in a place in the past that was quite tormenting and I didn't see a way out of, I would highly recommend counselling or therapy. It won't change whatever has happened that's led you to feel like this, but it will help. Be kind to yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
WomenWubber Posted July 25, 2015 Share Posted July 25, 2015 Pain is the proof that you're alive. A life without pain, is no life at all. Link to post Share on other sites
lil hoodlum Posted July 25, 2015 Share Posted July 25, 2015 I'm not really sure what to say to you. I've read your other post that you started in April of this year. You make a lot of blank statements that others simply don't agree with. That doesn't matter to you and I understand it is how you feel about things and that is your perspective on things. I won't try to dimish your feelings. They are valid and important to you. So like what is the issue then? Are you mad or upset at your parents or caregivers because you weren't able to experience things that you believe are "normal experiences"? I understand life isn't allways fair. Everyone in life has struggles. How you deal with is the key. Do you want to change things? Maybe just have people agree with you and validate your view points? How do you plan to overcome these obstacles? Do you want to overcome these obstacles? Link to post Share on other sites
Author benjamin1000 Posted July 25, 2015 Author Share Posted July 25, 2015 I am not mad at anybody. Its all my fault i was not brave enough to live, when it was important to do adult stuff and enjoy life es everybody should. Now i must carry the consequences for the rest of my life and i cant take it. Imagine how many times all those beautiful girls out there had sex durring all those years. For them its normal to do all the porn things...to do selfies with penis in their mouth...they have probably many pictures of them durring sex. do you understand how advanced those people are? how brave and big person you need to be to do all those stuff. they are on different level...and its not just sex...its school, its vacation with friends...all those stuff...there is simply no way i can be equal to them anymore...they had so much past and stuff happening in their life durring which they developed. Link to post Share on other sites
lil hoodlum Posted July 25, 2015 Share Posted July 25, 2015 Imagine how many times all those beautiful girls out there had sex durring all those years. For them its normal to do all the porn things...to do selfies with penis in their mouth...they have probably many pictures of them durring sex. do you understand how advanced those people are? how brave and big person you need to be to do all those stuff. they are on different level...and its not just sex...its school, its vacation with friends...all those stuff...there is simply no way i can be equal to them anymore...they had so much past and stuff happening in their life durring which they developed. I am afraid the reality of these so called "experiences" that others have had aren't allways so pleasant and memorable. You have attatched such a high value to others experiences when to those people they maynot be all that you think they are. You may think that all of these women do selfies with penies in their mouth, not sure I agree with that. Maybe some do, but I would bet that most don't do that. And also regarding these experiences that others have had, I don't think you need to be brave or a big person to experience them. I have gone along with what others are doing, that didn't mean I was brave or a big person. If anything, I believe it takes a brave or big person not to go along with what everyone else is doing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author benjamin1000 Posted July 25, 2015 Author Share Posted July 25, 2015 (edited) Its easy to **** with full you know what... When people had it all, they can say something was not important or special. They dont value normal things and dont know how lucky they were to have them. I didnt, so i just cant be equal. Be real please. All other are on vacation, posting pictures every day on facebook, i was never in last 15 years. For them its something totally normal. How am i equal to such women? She is over my league because of all those experiences. Numbers say it all. The experiences about which she would talk durring date and company. I have nothing to talk about. Edited July 25, 2015 by benjamin1000 Link to post Share on other sites
lil hoodlum Posted July 25, 2015 Share Posted July 25, 2015 Its easy to **** with full you know what... When people had it all, they can say something was not important or special. They dont value normal things and dont know how lucky they were to have them. I didnt, so i just cant be equal. Be real please. All other are on vacation, posting pictures every day on facebook, i was never in last 15 years. For them its something totally normal. How am i equal to such women? She is over my league because of all those experiences. Numbers say it all. The experiences about which she would talk durring date and company. I have nothing to talk about. You are going back to making generalizing and blank statements, which aren't allways true. You just assume that it is like that for everyone in your head. So let me get this straight, do you believe you are the only person in the world who never got to have these experiences? Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted July 25, 2015 Share Posted July 25, 2015 Compare numbers to others and you see how behind i am. How worthless compare to others. You dont understand how much developed they are because of all those experiences. I am kid, they are adult. And they can always say they won compare to me, because they experienced all more. Therefor i dont see a way out. No thing can give me thi equality anymore. I am to far behind, they all made something out of themself. I didnt. You are seeing it as a grand competition rather than each person travelling their own pathway. We all do things at different stages for different reasons. I doubt you would see birds looking at each other to see what stages they each did things in life. Animals are far less self-conscious than we are. You can start from where you are. The future can be entirely different from your past. What is stopping you from making a better future for yourself? I understand you feel you are behind others, but there is no shame in that. You can be mature and move forwards not give up. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted July 25, 2015 Share Posted July 25, 2015 I am not mad at anybody. Its all my fault i was not brave enough to live, when it was important to do adult stuff and enjoy life es everybody should. Now i must carry the consequences for the rest of my life and i cant take it. Imagine how many times all those beautiful girls out there had sex durring all those years. For them its normal to do all the porn things...to do selfies with penis in their mouth...they have probably many pictures of them durring sex. do you understand how advanced those people are? how brave and big person you need to be to do all those stuff. they are on different level...and its not just sex...its school, its vacation with friends...all those stuff...there is simply no way i can be equal to them anymore...they had so much past and stuff happening in their life durring which they developed. Porn is another world, not the way most of us live. Most women are not out there getting loads of experience of doing things like that; that is the way women in porn films behave! Yes, some might, but the majority just want one partner and a long-lasting relationship. You seem to have become convinced everyone is living like porn stars or something and thinking of experiences as a numbers game. Counting and then concluding you can't match that is a strange way of going about things. Most people would prefer quality over quantity any day. You are blaming yourself for not having the confidence others seemed to have. Blaming yourself is pointless and adds to your burdens - why blame yourself? Maybe something in your background taught you to blame yourself if life didn't go as you wished. Not everything is your fault. Link to post Share on other sites
Author benjamin1000 Posted July 26, 2015 Author Share Posted July 26, 2015 Its not blank statements. Open news, watch tv, people there on sea on vacation, people on galleries from festivals or parties in clubs. Read forums, people talking about sex. Your future doesnt matter, if you killed somebody in the past. Your worth is written forever. Its the same with my past. Only murder probably even had fun in youth, means he is more worth then me. More beautiful women would want sex with him, because he is alpha male. lil hoodlum, offcourse i am not only person, but 90% for sure had fun many times in youth. Have done some things you should in youth. Majority of people had sex in youth. Majority is important, not minority. What minority does doesnt matter. 5 is more then 1. The 5 people won, whatever they did, because they have all 4 people behind them to proove them right. For examxple look at the greatness of women which have sex with famous people. What those women archived in life. They were so big to have sex with famous persons. They have big trophy on the shelf in their room. Nobody can take them this greatness away, to taste famous body. Look at beautiful young girls in porn these days. Look at women wanting men with uniforms, because its big thing for their collection for life. Having sex with men in uniforms...and look at women at movies...how greedy they look at men they like...those perfect looking men i mean. I have nothing like this to offer. Link to post Share on other sites
madjac74 Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 Women might avoid you because you sound kind of nuts and only think of porn and sex. Women usually don't like that. Stop watching so much porn and get some other hobbies. Link to post Share on other sites
Author benjamin1000 Posted July 26, 2015 Author Share Posted July 26, 2015 Women might avoid you because you sound kind of nuts and only think of porn and sex. Women usually don't like that. Stop watching so much porn and get some other hobbies. They dont avoid me, because they are not in my company. I dont let nobody near me. And i would not talk about sex with them, but this are all facts. Getting hobbies doesnt change anything. Its fact people had fun in youth and there is no way out for me to be equal to them they simply won. Link to post Share on other sites
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