I'm back and it good to be back.......

[Wambo]

Over a year ago I came here seeking help and guidance. I'm here now to tell the full conclusion of my story and at one point I had to fight thoughts of suicide.

 

As you can imagine it wasn't a nice experience and I was recommended to watch Good Will Hunting. I don't know if everyone had seen the film but I truly recommend everyone to see it, especially for those who suffered abuse. There is a bit right at the end which make many sufferers including myself see some light out of a nasty tunnel.

 

So you may be wondering why I am talking about abuse, and not about affairs? You see I thought the problems I was going through at work was resulted me being in an emotional affair. While it seems silly typing this out now but back then it was completely different. You see my then manager turn out to be a covert narcissist and we started off as good friends. We were a two man army and I was his number one man to go to. What actually happening is he was gas lighting me and he made things worst for me when his final written warning expired.

 

* Gas lighting is when a toxic person (mostly narcissist) target someone for their own ego, build them up higher and slowly break them. Making their life difficult and pretending to know nothing about it. Later they start making them out they're crazy and pretending to be innocent.

 

* My then former manager's final written warning. To be honest I didn't know the full story and if I did I wouldn't want to work him. When I heard bad things i flog them off because I got on so well with him I couldn't believe it.

 

Just to add some back story. One of the department wasn't performing so well. So I got moved over there to give a almighty boost and they transferred a manager over there who happen to have bad relations with his previous staff members. My transfer was meant to be a temp but my then manager pulled strings to keep me there.

 

 

So back to the emotional affair.

 

My manager and I gone to our seperate paths and according to the performance table he is still sh**. Anyway since he is gone, I have been getting better and better. However doing this time I been seeking answers and getting these answers as you imagine is also counter productive to my recovery.

 

So anyway I was involved in an emotional affair with a co worker. We started off as very good friends and things became complicated. Now over time my manager decide to do his first attack by increasing my work load and pointed out he didn't know why I was getting so much work. I thought it was the regional manager because on my previous department he issued the work load. I learned later my manager can ask for more work for his department which all got directed towards me.

 

So with the extra workload, the stress etc I end up ending the emotional affair. Due to the gas lighting it was increasing my anxiety and made me jump to the wrong conclusions she was using me. Turned out she wasn't. Now my backstory isn't spot on in the previous posts because I placed some spin on them. However after the break up, my exAP kept trying to reconnect with me and I kept pushing her away. The reason is I thought she was the blame for my problems.

It was only mid 2014 I started to learn the truth that it was my manager at fault. Because I wasn't in an affair, and NC was holding, I could start to see the games my manager was playing. However it was too late. While my exAp was upset with me, turned out she was pregnant. I only found out later which almost drove me to commit suicide. What followed was me mentally battered going against my manager.

It got very bad because I threatened to sue the company, so finally the higher up had to taken action. Not only did I get moved but they moved my former manager to a smaller site to contain his damage.

 

It unbelievable amount of damage one pathetic guy could do. I wasn't the only one who had problems with him but I had to work next to him and therefor created a bigger problems for me. It was only when I had to tempoary move, someone took my place I could see how the manager was treating him different.

 

So where am I now?

 

First I am considering therapy, but I also want to start a proper investigation into my former manager. What some of us experienced shouldn't happen again and people need to be informed to prevent further abuse. Also everyone is noticing the differene in me since I'm recovering but no one could imagine why I want seek out my former manager. They telling me he isn't worth it and it's a shame I had to hide the fact I was in an exit affair?

The question is if I wasn't in an affair, would I had notice the abuse sooner and launch a grienvance procedure against him? Most likely yes!

 

One final thing

 

In the past I do have a quick peak here and this place does appear toxic. Anyway you live your life not theirs. Also my story to me sounds like an almost complete Stephen King's novel and watching the recent Batman v Superman trailer doesn't help either.:mad: