She wants her "alone" time?

[BILL]

I am engaged to a woman that I am totally and completely in love with. And before I was engaged I always thought that once I found the one that I would never want to be away or have my own alone time for myself. However my fiance says that I "smother" her and that she wants some alone time. This hurts me because I honestly be with all of the time. Am I wrong in my line of thinking? I mean this is the one I have been looking for and how can she expect me to understand purposely spending time apart that we would normally be together. I just don't get! Any help would be great. Thanks!

[clia]

Well, here's the deal. Your fiancee had a life for 20 years (or whatever) before she met you. She had friends, hobbies, things that she did, etc. Just because she met you, fell in love, and decided to get married doesn't mean that all of those things go away. The two of you have your life together, but you should also have lives apart. Just because you're getting married doesn't mean that you need to spend every second together. (God, that would drive me crazy. I totally relate to where your fiancee is coming from.)

 

What confuses me is that you don't seem that interested in spending time with YOUR friends, doing YOUR hobbies, or any of the things that I'm sure occupied your time before you met her. You're getting married, but don't lose yourself in the process. You may be one person in the eyes of the law, but you should still have YOUR life. And trust me, if you don't, your fiancee will not stick around. Women like to date men who have lives of their own, not guys who want to spend every waking second with us. If she told you that you're smothering her, you probably are, and badly. Back off and find a new hobby if you don't have any. Take painting lessons, tennis lessons, take a class at your local university, join a basketball league, etc. Spend some quality time with your friends or family. Anything.

[JustAGirl]

Clia is totally right!!

 

Stop sticking to her! Have yr own life, give her personal space, and she'll be very happy to get back to u when she's done w/ friends and hobbies...

 

i just had a huge fight w/ my bf about those things so - seriously - personal space is absolutely necessary! otherwise she'll start turning bitchy on u (at least thats what i did to him)

 

Good luck!!

[tj]

Hi, man can I relate. My boyfriend is the same way... however now I understand it. The fact your fiance needs her quiet time is not because she loves you any less. Believe me by giving her, her space she will love you more for it.

 

And like the other comments stay in contact with your friends, hobbies etc. it makes for a better relationship.

Well, here's the deal. Your fiancee had a life for 20 years (or whatever) before she met you. She had friends, hobbies, things that she did, etc. Just because she met you, fell in love, and decided to get married doesn't mean that all of those things go away. The two of you have your life together, but you should also have lives apart. Just because you're getting married doesn't mean that you need to spend every second together. (God, that would drive me crazy. I totally relate to where your fiancee is coming from.) What confuses me is that you don't seem that interested in spending time with YOUR friends, doing YOUR hobbies, or any of the things that I'm sure occupied your time before you met her. You're getting married, but don't lose yourself in the process. You may be one person in the eyes of the law, but you should still have YOUR life. And trust me, if you don't, your fiancee will not stick around. Women like to date men who have lives of their own, not guys who want to spend every waking second with us. If she told you that you're smothering her, you probably are, and badly. Back off and find a new hobby if you don't have any. Take painting lessons, tennis lessons, take a class at your local university, join a basketball league, etc. Spend some quality time with your friends or family. Anything.