Message to guys: get primal

[stillafool]

It is actually. Problem is girls talk, word will spread about you being a player and no girls with decent self esteem will want to build a relationship with you, because you're the guy that has had sex with at least 50 different girls and the only reason you're dating her is because you want to nail her.

 

You'd be surprised at how many women who's self esteem is so high they think they are the ones who can tame the player, make him settle down and commit.

[TaraMaiden2]

Any woman whose self-esteem is high, wouldn't be seen dead with this guy.

(And no, that rhyme was not intentional. But I said 'guy' to be polite.)

[hudson701]

Do all the women you are seeing at the same time know about each other? And if so what do they say/how do they feel to be on the carousel?

[Revolver]

How hard was it to give up porn? That's a tough one for me because it's basically been ingrained as a weekly routine since I was 14. It's made me incredibly lazy, Ive turned down opportunities with friends to go out and meet women because of it.

 

I think it's played a major role in why I am the current situation I'm in.

[BronzeAgeJaeger217]

But that's what makes it so fun, that women are simultaneously different yet similar to us. I don't think of it as a numbers game but the fact that I am having sex with different women is enjoyable.

 

I truly think that the problem with a lot of men now a days is too much thinking, not enough reaction. I think, I think, I think, I think, I think she won't like me, I think this, I think that. When you get too caught up in thinking, you restrain yourself from what matters the most. Will you approach that girl or will you think she is out of your league? I used to be a victim to this too.

 

A group of friends and I were out this Saturday at an outside bar party. It was a fun event, we were just enjoying the vibe. One of my friends asked me how I was able to get success with women and how he could do the same. He had a girlfriend that recently broke up with him and he felt like she was very heavy-handed in the relationship. I was like dude...get going! Just get going. You'll encounter so much opportunity and growth along the way. You'll figure it out when you get better at it.

 

Later on, a stunning brunette chick came to our table out of the blue. She introduced herself and she immediately turned to my friend. They were talking and I saw chemistry. Then, he told me he was going to go get a beer. I was like wtf... Then she was with me. We were talking a bit and then she walked away. He came back and asked where she went. I told him she was only sticking around because he was here. "She came to talk to you, not me." She then came a second time to our table. They talked again. She mirrored his body language, flipped her hair, teased him, etc. I thought he was going to get her number or take her home. He did none of it. I was shocked. We never saw her again. I was rooting for him. He simply did not believe this girl was into him like that. I was so downhearted that he didn't go for it. She was clearly into him.

 

This same guy, about a year and a half ago was involved in a devastating motorcycle accident. I was standing over his hospital bed and he looked up at me and said "Life is so fragile. I'll never take it for granted again. If I get out of this in one piece, I will live it to the fullest." Then he asked me to hold him to it. So I did. I brought him back to that same mental state he was in and I told him "Enough. It's time to have some fun."

 

That's how I feel. After a lifetime of depression and misery I said it's time to have some fun. That's why I don't take any of this for granted. I cherish the women who have sex with me. I cherish the fact that this can happen. I cherish the fact that I'm making up for lost time that I didn't experience in high school and college. I cherish the fact that I got the nerve to approach and talk to women. I don't take any of it for granted.

 

We think we have all the time in the world. We don't we can go at any minute. I want to live my life how I want to live it. I don't want to be on my deathbed looking back on my life knowing I could have done something and that I could have done it. That would be the worst feeling in the world and it would all happen right before you die.

 

 

 

Yeah, I understand that virginity in older men is not a sexy trait. That's why I made it a duty to get as much experience in this area as soon as possible.

 

Wow, that guy with you was an idiot, that brunette girl made it easy, girls normally never approach guys or go up to guys like that

[Camaro Guy]

Do all the women you are seeing at the same time know about each other? And if so what do they say/how do they feel to be on the carousel?

 

These women know I'm seeing others. I explicitly tell them that because we're not in a relationship. I tell them that they are free to stop seeing me if they do not agree with this. I do not go in-depth of what I am doing with other girls.

 

One girl started to violate this and she started to get possessive before we even had sex. I stopped talking to her. As long as you don't act like a dick about it, they probably won't have a problem.

 

How hard was it to give up porn? That's a tough one for me because it's basically been ingrained as a weekly routine since I was 14. It's made me incredibly lazy, Ive turned down opportunities with friends to go out and meet women because of it.

 

I think it's played a major role in why I am the current situation I'm in.

 

It was not a problem for me because I didn't start watching porn until I was 17 and I didn't do it that often. Though I would have periods where I would binge, masturbating 3-4 times a day. To me, the rationale was simple. Why watch actresses have sex with guys they don't even like when I can go out and meet women who are enthusiastic to have sex with me, in a sense making my own porn? The choice was simple. As far as going out, when your buddies are going out and you want to get good with women, make it a point of duty to go out. Unless you have other stuff to do, of course. That's how you get your lumps.

 

Last Saturday, my friends called me and said they were rolling to this awesome club with some other guys. At first I was like, "nah I'm gonna stay in". Then I was like "No. No you will not." I went. Didn't feel like going. I wanted to leave and go meet up with one girl I was dating. They said it was no reentry to the club. So I went in. Walked around the place for a bit in a daze. Then I saw this bomb girl. Immediately approached her. Talked to her. After a looooong night of talking we made out. And it was awesome. So it wasn't all bad.

 

Moral of the story? Go out.

 

Wow, that guy with you was an idiot, that brunette girl made it easy, girls normally never approach guys or go up to guys like that

 

I've actually been opened by several girls before. It's not an act of God, but it is uncommon. But this girl...damn. She was a beauty. I scolded my friend for letting her slip through the cracks. You could tell this girl was out to meet guys. Maybe even go home with a guy.

Edited July 27, 2015 by Camaro Guy

[No Limit]

These women know I'm seeing others. I explicitly tell them that because we're not in a relationship. I tell them that they are free to stop seeing me if they do not agree with this. I do not go in-depth of what I am doing with other girls.

 

One girl started to violate this and she started to get possessive before we even had sex. I stopped talking to her. As long as you don't act like a dick about it, they probably won't have a problem.

 

Good guy. Have fun.

And do be careful around the possessive ones; if you feel like you don't want to miss the opportunity to have sex with one then you better bring your own condoms and flush them down the toilet yourself unless you want to become a daddy.

[Rejected Rosebud]

One girl started to violate this and she started to get possessive before we even had sex. I stopped talking to her. As long as you don't act like a dick about it, they probably won't have a problem.

They're all having sex with 5 or 9 other guys too?? What kind of social world are you living in and how old are you, I'm 24 and that would be just ... not a thing among our friends. Are you into like Jersey Shore kinds of club scenes?? We don't really have that in the PNW I guess!! I mean there are a couple of girls and guys who just like to have sex with everybody I guess but they're outliers!!

[ascendotum]

They're all having sex with 5 or 9 other guys too?? What kind of social world are you living in and how old are you, I'm 24 and that would be just ... not a thing among our friends. Are you into like Jersey Shore kinds of club scenes?? We don't really have that in the PNW I guess!! I mean there are a couple of girls and guys who just like to have sex with everybody I guess but they're outliers!!

 

Often when it comes to fwb or f-buddies with women a lot of its on the quiet. Had a beer with one of the guys from the gym recently and he was telling me about the women at the gym he is seeing on the side. Two of them have bfs and this guys did not have to twist their arm or get them drunk to want to get into a fb relationship, and they know he is seeing others (the guy's a serious BB with the gorilla swinging arm look). I know a dozen other guys that are juggling multiple fb/fwb and in majority of cases (supposedly according to the guys) the women know they are sharing him. A number of those women are married or already have bf. Shute even I was seeing 2 a bit over a year ago. 2/3 of those guys are good looking men, the other 1/3 the guys are well built guys. It would not surprise me if most of those women keep quiet about their fb arrangement except for maybe their BFF. The guys one of my neighbors sees are just f-buddies but when she talks about them to others she describes them as bfs. I guess so its sounds more respectable. There could be quite a few women who do the same.

[elaine567]

Often when it comes to fwb or f-buddies with women a lot of its on the quiet. Had a beer with one of the guys from the gym recently and he was telling me about the women at the gym he is seeing on the side. Two of them have bfs and this guys did not have to twist their arm or get them drunk to want to get into a fb relationship, and they know he is seeing others (the guy's a serious BB with the gorilla swinging arm look). I know a dozen other guys that are juggling multiple fb/fwb and in majority of cases (supposedly according to the guys) the women know they are sharing him. A number of those women are married or already have bf. Shute even I was seeing 2 a bit over a year ago. 2/3 of those guys are good looking men, the other 1/3 the guys are well built guys. It would not surprise me if most of those women keep quiet about their fb arrangement except for maybe their BFF. The guys one of my neighbors sees are just f-buddies but when she talks about them to others she describes them as bfs. I guess so its sounds more respectable. There could be quite a few women who do the same.

 

All that gym fuelled testosterone needs an outlet.

But men also like to bullsh*t about their sexual prowess, so maybe to be taken with a pinch of salt?

[ascendotum]

All that gym fuelled testosterone needs an outlet.

But men also like to bullsh*t about their sexual prowess, so maybe to be taken with a pinch of salt?

 

For sure, and I realize this, and taking it into account. Sure some of the younger guys especially at the gym can talk it up to to impress others. Most of these other (dozen) guys I know though are not bragging in front of a group of other guys down the pub. They were telling me 1 on 1 and I feel I know them well enough to know they don't have to bs me, and they are in their 30s/40s and should be past that having to make up shyte to fit in. I trained a bit with that BB and he's a cool guy who was skinny once and not close to being arrogant or a wanker, but yes some guys can talk shyte to create a false image.

[Rejected Rosebud]

. I know a dozen other guys that are juggling multiple fb/fwb and in majority of cases (supposedly according to the guys) the women know they are sharing him. A number of those women are married or already have bf. Shute even I was seeing 2 a bit over a year ago. 2/3 of those guys are good looking men, the other 1/3 the guys are well built guys.

Gross, I guess I have been living a sheltered life and I'm happy to keep it that way!! I am all for sexual adventures for people who are into that but all this sneaking and skulking, nasty! :sick: What is the point. Oh yeah because testostrone, I remember now.

[darkbloom]

Good luck finding a girl when you're ready to settle down. No one with any self respect would consider a relationship with you when you behave like that. I don't think it's beneficial to give advice to more men to treat women as a numbers game. It makes you sound really insecure and that to cover it up you are doing everything you can to prove your 'manliness.'

 

This lifestyle might be fun, but I imagine how lonely you must be.

[Camaro Guy]

They're all having sex with 5 or 9 other guys too?? What kind of social world are you living in and how old are you, I'm 24 and that would be just ... not a thing among our friends. Are you into like Jersey Shore kinds of club scenes?? We don't really have that in the PNW I guess!! I mean there are a couple of girls and guys who just like to have sex with everybody I guess but they're outliers!!

 

This happens quite often. I'm not having sex with like 5 other girls, more like 3. However, I might just cut it down to 2. From what my friends say, as you start to sleep with more women at one time it gets too complicated.

 

I'll even take this one step further. I truly believe that most women aren't really "single" if that makes sense. I believe that a majority (not all) are emotionally invested somewhere else, so they simply aren't available. Most women are hooking up with someone, in a relationship of some kind, or dead set on someone, blocking out all other options. This has been the case with a lot of the girls I knew.

 

Anyone care to chime in?

 

Good luck finding a girl when you're ready to settle down. No one with any self respect would consider a relationship with you when you behave like that. I don't think it's beneficial to give advice to more men to treat women as a numbers game. It makes you sound really insecure and that to cover it up you are doing everything you can to prove your 'manliness.'

 

This lifestyle might be fun, but I imagine how lonely you must be.

 

Why do you think I think this is a numbers game?

[GravityMan]

This is a guy who up till June 2015 was a 25 yo virgin.

 

NOW, he is the kid who just got the keys to the sweetie store.

He is experiencing a sugar rush.

 

Yep. I definitely get the impression from this thread and his other recent threads that this is a guy who's in a "gotta make up for lost time" mode. It's a phase he's going through. And it's one of the bigger reasons why a lot of women and men are leery of dating people who are inexperienced past the age of 23 or so.

 

I mean, it's good that he's now putting himself out there, talking to women, asking them out, etc. However, at this point I don't think he's truly improved or matured all that much (if at all) as a human being, compared to when he was still a virgin. Most decent women out there who are also solid judges of character will quickly and easily see him for who he truly is, and will not want to touch him with a ten-foot pole.

 

Hopefully within the next couple of years, he'll advance past this phase, calm down a bit and grow up.

[Imajerk17]

You've really been having sex nearly every night for three weeks? When do you get any sleep? That's just as important for testosterone production too

 

Maybe I am too old, but I just couldn't have sex that often unless I really liked whom I was with, and even then... At some point I just need to have time to myself and time to focus on other things that have nothing to do with women. And when I was really attracted to whom I was hooking up with, I didn't have the interest to be meeting more women. I mean, I was already satisfied. Lions hunt but they only hunt when they are hungry.

 

That all said, respect to you, Camaro Guy, for putting yourself out there. It's quite refreshing to read the threads of someone on here who is actually Taking Action. I do think some of the responses on here have been a bit harsh--these are all consenting adults here, sounds like you have been upfront with these girls, and it is quite natural for a 25-year-old male to want to have fun and explore the world of women. Just keep in mind though, that as you lost your virginity only a month ago, that you still aren't a guru. Humility is your friend.

 

Also, measuring or stating your success in *quantities* (number of partners you've been with, how often you have sex) is a horribly corrosive mindset to have, and that can come across as quite disrespectful, even if that was not how you intended it.

Edited July 27, 2015 by Imajerk17

[jay1983]

All that gym fuelled testosterone needs an outlet.

But men also like to bullsh*t about their sexual prowess, so maybe to be taken with a pinch of salt?

 

That's the way I look at the OP. From 24 yr old virgin to a player scoring all over the place all in a month. I think he might be blowing just a little bit of smoke here.

[nouedis]

This was very informative and I truly appreciate you for posting this.

[darkbloom]

This happens quite often. I'm not having sex with like 5 other girls, more like 3. However, I might just cut it down to 2. From what my friends say, as you start to sleep with more women at one time it gets too complicated.

 

I'll even take this one step further. I truly believe that most women aren't really "single" if that makes sense. I believe that a majority (not all) are emotionally invested somewhere else, so they simply aren't available. Most women are hooking up with someone, in a relationship of some kind, or dead set on someone, blocking out all other options. This has been the case with a lot of the girls I knew.

 

Anyone care to chime in?

 

 

 

Why do you think I think this is a numbers game?

 

Your whole post is about how you have this fear of missing out on life specifically women. You are currently sleeping with 3 of them on a regular basis. You said yourself that one is *gasp* getting attached to you. Your solution is to drop her and on to the next. That is a numbers game. You will find after awhile that sex gets old. I read your previous posts. You will be back on here in a little while complaining about how lonely you are and how you can't connect with anyone.

[Camaro Guy]

You've really been having sex nearly every night for three weeks? When do you get any sleep? That's just as important for testosterone production too

 

Maybe I am too old, but I just couldn't have sex that often unless I really liked whom I was with, and even then... At some point I just need to have time to myself and time to focus on other things that have nothing to do with women. And when I was really attracted to whom I was hooking up with, I didn't have the interest to be meeting more women. I mean, I was already satisfied. Lions hunt but they only hunt when they are hungry.

 

That all said, respect to you, Camaro Guy, for putting yourself out there. It's quite refreshing to read the threads of someone on here who is actually Taking Action. I do think some of the responses on here have been a bit harsh--these are all consenting adults here, sounds like you have been upfront with these girls, and it is quite natural for a 25-year-old male to want to have fun and explore the world of women. Just keep in mind though, that as you lost your virginity only a month ago, that you still aren't a guru. Humility is your friend.

 

Also, measuring or stating your success in *quantities* (number of partners you've been with, how often you have sex) is a horribly corrosive mindset to have, and that can come across as quite disrespectful, even if that was not how you intended it.

 

 

Man, it's crazy. Once I took action, it's like everything just happened. Once I had sex for the first time I was like oh my god, I'm actually doing it. I just don't know why I'm getting so many barbs in this thread. I'm just living life, having fun, enjoying the vibe. For once in my life. Since I was a little kid I was pretty depressed for various reasons. Now, it's just crazy the way my life has turned once I took action.

 

That's why I get so burned when people, especially women think guys can just sleep around. Having sex with these girls and keeping them interested is really, really, really, REALLY ****ing hard. Sometimes I get tired...and I don't want to do it. But I keep pressing on. Keep pushing the buttons. Keep pushing the envelope. Why do I do it? I get such a ****ing rush out of it. It's just so thrilling to me that I can even do this. I love flirting with girls and feeling the chemistry. I love it when they get that look in their eye like they want to devour me. It's unexplainable, the feeling. Those of you guys who have gotten it know what I'm talking about.

 

Ok, I will admit... I'm 6'1 and have a jacked fitness model body but still if I had a dead personality, it wouldn't mean anything. Yes, girls like the muscles but they like the banter so much more. I was jacked before I took action but it wouldn't mean anything.

 

The real thing that took me out of this is knowing that there are girls out there who would LOVE to have sex with me. There's girls like that for everyone. Whoever you are, there's some girl(s) out there who would love to have sex with you. That is the game changer. You just need to find her.

 

The reason it looks like I've had so much success because I'm willing to stick my neck out further than other guys. I've gotten shut down, blown out, I have a boyfriended, etc. But in refining my approach, I've seen that more are more girls are up for it. On Saturday when I went out, I approached 12 girls. Only one of them gave me her number.

[ascendotum]

Gross, I guess I have been living a sheltered life and I'm happy to keep it that way!! I am all for sexual adventures for people who are into that but all this sneaking and skulking, nasty! :sick: What is the point. Oh yeah because testostrone, I remember now.

 

With the guys I don't think they are necessarily out to go from 2 to 3 to 4 fwb/fbs so they can punch the air. A couple may be like that, but I get the impression from how the encounters started that opportunities come across their path and its just the nature of many guys not to knock it back. Its more the guys that are scheduling in multiple women, I'd say rather then the women, but a number of the women are seeing 2 guys. There has been a few women here and I've also heard this sentiment IRL from a few...that say they would rather be with a great guy part-time/shared (with their options still open) than be with a mediocre guy full time. I'd suspect quite a % of women have this attitude today (not all the time, but while not in a dedicated relationship). Numerous women on here are doing fwb, and probably like to think the guy is exclusively into them, but I'd suspect if the guy is hot, charming & good in bed they wont care (and they not likely to brag to too many she is 1 of 3 for their guy), and prefer he was spending his other time with another dedicated fwb than scoring randoms.

[Camaro Guy]

Your whole post is about how you have this fear of missing out on life specifically women. You are currently sleeping with 3 of them on a regular basis. You said yourself that one is *gasp* getting attached to you. Your solution is to drop her and on to the next. That is a numbers game. You will find after awhile that sex gets old. I read your previous posts. You will be back on here in a little while complaining about how lonely you are and how you can't connect with anyone.

 

She's becoming possessive, not attached. She's telling me to do stuff, telling me to go pick her clothes up from the laundromat, telling me that I should spend my money this way... I'm not down for that. I told her "no" in response to picking up her clothes from the laundromat and she was mad. I don't care. I'm not your boyfriend.

 

She's starting to be more trouble than she's worth. She's hot but she's not worth the time of day.

[Rejected Rosebud]

Once I had sex for the first time I was like oh my god, I'm actually doing it. I just don't know why I'm getting so many barbs in this thread. I'm just living life, having fun, enjoying the vibe.

Because for YOU it's about "getting" something off of other people, and it's pretty unattractive. No matter how lonely and horny or whatever you were before you got to have sex.

That's why I get so burned when people, especially women think guys can just sleep around. Having sex with these girls and keeping them interested is really, really, really, REALLY ****ing hard. Sometimes I get tired...and I don't want to do it. But I keep pressing on. Keep pushing the buttons.

Pushing buttons and relating with people really aren't supposed to be in the same sentence if you actually care about people ... whatever, I seriously would like to see you in real life, like whether you could associate with my friends and me or if you would just come off as some kind of oddball from a reality tv show (like Jersey Shore).

 

Ok, I will admit... I'm 6'1 and have a jacked fitness model body but still if I had a dead personality,

 

How did you turn into a different person, dump all your old friends and get all new friends, and become a sex god in literally one month?

 

Oh well more power to you, you sound like a decent guy and I am sure the girls you are "banging" are into it as well, but for me it's just gross. I wish you could find a more deep, and less using of people way to build up your self esteem. You'd still be able to have sex, but you'd be way cooler!!

[ascendotum]

She's becoming possessive, not attached. She's telling me to do stuff, telling me to go pick her clothes up from the laundromat, telling me that I should spend my money this way... I'm not down for that. I told her "no" in response to picking up her clothes from the laundromat and she was mad. I don't care. I'm not your boyfriend.

 

She's starting to be more trouble than she's worth. She's hot but she's not worth the time of day.

Well she can tell you how to spend you $ but you can just let it go in one ear and out the other. I guess it depends if it comes off as advice or an order. she is stepping over the mark if its the later. As for picking up her clothes from the laundromat, in the realm of friend in Fwb I would be open to that, BUT only if such favors were reciprocated. Quite often I found when it came time for a female friend to do me a favor they are busy. If they do it, I do, if they don't I don't. I'm sure a 'hot' girl as had no problem in the past having bfs/fwbs/orbiters go out of their way to make her life easier. The beauty of not being in a relationship and having options, is you can tell her no.

[Camaro Guy]

Because for YOU it's about "getting" something off of other people, and it's pretty unattractive. No matter how lonely and horny or whatever you were before you got to have sex.

Pushing buttons and relating with people really aren't supposed to be in the same sentence if you actually care about people ... whatever, I seriously would like to see you in real life, like whether you could associate with my friends and me or if you would just come off as some kind of oddball from a reality tv show (like Jersey Shore)

 

I'm not from Jersey nor have I ever watched the show. I don't watch much tv so I can't relate to that either. Sorry to burst your image of me as a muscled guido.

 

I also can't relate to Pacific Northwest types either. Too laid back for me. I had a friend from that area and ALL he did was smoke pot and talk about the environment.

 

I already knew being a virgin was vastly unattractive, so that's why I did my best to get rid of it ASAP. I'm just having fun in the process.

 

I had a choice: be a virgin and be inexperienced or not be a virgin and have fun. It was an easy choice. So I went after it as if it was my last day on earth.