Dating the spiritual, but not religious

[LookAtThisPOst]

I was wondering, I was talking to a female friend about a single woman that she knows that lives locally. To find out a bit more about her she told me her friend is into "spiritual, but not religious" men.

 

I'm not really sure what that means exactly. It doesn't mean she's not Christian?

 

Note, I think Christian can be non-religious. But see a lot of dating profiles lately bout how they say they are "spiritual, but not religious". It's quite a wide brush to cover as I'm not a Bible thumper either (not a zealot).

 

I know her friend is big into art and is an artist herself, creative minded, peaceful, etc.

 

I'm more about a person's character, but one would need to find out by spending more time with said individual if they were to describe themselves, yes?

 

Thoughts on "spiritual, but not religious"? I see this a lot, but never given much time to figure out what it means.

[Noproblem]

Yeah this means they don't believe in any religions, but they believe there is higher power that control the world..

 

I won't date religious people, only spiritual and atheist and that sort of people who are not too religious ..

[mrldii]

Agree with noproblem's take on it. "Spiritual" in the sense they have a belief/connection to God/A Higher Power, but "not religious" because they do not feel compelled to participate in an organized structure to explore that connection which includes showing up at a prescribed time to hand over a prescribed amount of money to be told by someone else what that God/Higher Power does and does not expect of them and others.

 

Oh, and as an aside (since this question reminded me of a personal experience), the chances are NOT good that it means it's an opening to use "a date" to attempt to convert a non-church-goer to one's congregation/faith.

 

 

 

Jus' sayin'. Not that you would. Or, were planning on it.

 

 

Good luck to you, OP...

[preraph]

It doesn't even have to mean they believe in one higher power, but they may believe in a spirit world of some type. It usually only means they don't subscribe to an organized religion. These people are usually more open minded because they don't try to make the world fit into a particular religious set of mandates.

[LookAtThisPOst]

Agree with noproblem's take on it. "Spiritual" in the sense they have a belief/connection to God/A Higher Power, but "not religious" because they do not feel compelled to participate in an organized structure to explore that connection which includes showing up at a prescribed time to hand over a prescribed amount of money to be told by someone else what that God/Higher Power does and does not expect of them and others.

 

Oh, and as an aside (since this question reminded me of a personal experience), the chances are NOT good that it means it's an opening to use "a date" to attempt to convert a non-church-goer to one's congregation/faith.

 

 

 

Jus' sayin'. Not that you would. Or, were planning on it.

 

 

Good luck to you, OP...

 

I'm not a church-goer either, hadn't been to a church in a few years. I'm not one to convert. I thought that a belief in a higher power was more of an agnostic, yes? They just don't refer to this higher power by name....God.

[salparadise]

I'm not a church-goer either, hadn't been to a church in a few years. I'm not one to convert. I thought that a belief in a higher power was more of an agnostic, yes? They just don't refer to this higher power by name....God.

 

No. Agnostic means they don't profess to know the answers to things that are unknowable.

 

Spiritual but not religious covers a lot of territory. They may believe in God(s), an unconventional higher power, or the frequency of the universe. They may simply be pay-it-forward types who believe in some type of karma. Or they could be agnostics who practice mindfulness or subscribe to Buddhist principles as philosophy but not religion. It basically means they don't do organized or evangelical religions.

[LookAtThisPOst]

No. Agnostic means they don't profess to know the answers to things that are unknowable.

 

Spiritual but not religious covers a lot of territory. They may believe in God(s), an unconventional higher power, or the frequency of the universe. They may simply be pay-it-forward types who believe in some type of karma. Or they could be agnostics who practice mindfulness or subscribe to Buddhist principles as philosophy but not religion. It basically means they don't do organized or evangelical religions.

 

Oh okay, well if that's the case...there shouldn't be a problem. My only deal breaker would be atheists or agnostics usually.

 

I've dated women where they were Christian, but even they themselves would say, "I don't need to go to a building to be a Christian." Well, that's the excuse some married women's husbands use when they hit the golf course when she hits the chapel. lol

 

Anyhow, on OK Cupid there's quite a few women that have "spiritual, but not religious" chosen. I don't even ascribe to religion anymore, although I grew up Catholic and a lot of my Catholic family members married others of different religions.

 

Also, non-denominational Christians don't follow organized religion, yes? Thus the name "non-denom"? I knew of someone that started going to a Lutheran church when she moved to town, when people asked her about her Lutheran background, she had none and just said, "I'm not Lutheran, I'm Christian." Does this mean she's non-religious?

 

I always get confused as I think Non-religious could mean atheist or non-denom Christian.

Edited July 26, 2015 by LookAtThisPOst

[LookAtThisPOst]

I have met a woman one time where she was talking about our bodies being surrounded by energy fields and other stuff.

 

Though, I don't doubt that they do exist, I don't place much emphasis on reading books about it. One woman I met said she put down a few hundred dollars on classes studying just that.

 

I don't believe in astrology or tarot card readings...I'd do it for fun, but not take it seriously.

 

The whole "spiritual" thing, just like any other thing, there can be always extremes to moderation.

[GemmaUK]

I would suggest it's better to find out from the spiritualist themselves. As Sal mentioned it can be a vast spectrum.

 

Dating someone 'not religious' generally means not a Christian nor a catholic in practice but it can also mean in belief.

 

Agnostics have no proof of any gods and for them it's about knowledge and proof. Without proof an agnostic cannot know whether any gods exist or not.

[salparadise]

Also, non-denominational Christians don't follow organized religion, yes? Thus the name "non-denom"? I knew of someone that started going to a Lutheran church when she moved to town, when people asked her about her Lutheran background, she had none and just said, "I'm not Lutheran, I'm Christian." Does this mean she's non-religious?

 

I always get confused as I think Non-religious could mean atheist or non-denom Christian.

 

No, I don't think this is accurate at all. Non-denominational Christians choose not to subscribe to a specific denomination, but they still believe Jesus Christ as lord and savior and the son of God. Atheists don't believe in any God at all, much less Jesus as the son of God.

 

On dating sites I think the term non-religious could mean a few different things... atheist, agnostic, non-practicing but still identifying as Christian, or simply undefined (which probably means agnostic). I think a lot of people who were raised Christian are not ready to deny the existence of God, but they don't practice other than celebrating Christmas and preferring to be married by clergy rather than a civil servant. There is quite a bit of social expectation that people believe in something and know how to label it. A lot of people were raised in religious families and are no longer religious, but denying any faith would send shockwaves through the family and social group and break their parents hearts, so they remain affiliated in a general way but without any actual commitment.

[Iron Bubba]

Well, what is the difference between being spiritual and religious?

[salparadise]

I knew of someone that started going to a Lutheran church when she moved to town, when people asked her about her Lutheran background, she had none and just said, "I'm not Lutheran, I'm Christian." Does this mean she's non-religious?

 

I knew someone, actually a friend of mine's dad, who was Presbyterian. One day someone asked him if he was religious and he answered, "No, I'm Presbyterian."

[LookAtThisPOst]

No, I don't think this is accurate at all. Non-denominational Christians choose not to subscribe to a specific denomination, but they still believe Jesus Christ as lord and savior and the son of God. Atheists don't believe in any God at all, much less Jesus as the son of God.

 

On dating sites I think the term non-religious could mean a few different things... atheist, agnostic, non-practicing but still identifying as Christian, or simply undefined (which probably means agnostic). I think a lot of people who were raised Christian are not ready to deny the existence of God, but they don't practice other than celebrating Christmas and preferring to be married by clergy rather than a civil servant. There is quite a bit of social expectation that people believe in something and know how to label it. A lot of people were raised in religious families and are no longer religious, but denying any faith would send shockwaves through the family and social group and break their parents hearts, so they remain affiliated in a general way but without any actual commitment.

 

Right, this is why I think people put religious beliefs or Christianity (even though they have set foot in a church in a decade), as #5 (just guessing) when it comes to dating priorities.

 

I know a woman that's active in her church, Christian, plays the church piano/organ. Involved her kids' youth program, etc.

 

But dating a guy that doesn't go to church with her and hasn't set foot in church since he was kid (both are in their 40s)

 

She purposely left out any inkling of how active she is in her church in her profile for fear of being thought of as a Bible thumper (other than the drop down part of "religion" selection).

 

The guy she's dating is a good, decent guy and that's more important to her than any man she dates being a Christian so I think a lot of people are flexible in their beliefs when it comes to dating prospects. Usually due to bad experiences like a cheating ex-spouse that was an "ordained minister".

 

She be like "Sure, the guy I'm dating now hasn't set foot in a church, but at least he is good to me!"

[salparadise]

The guy she's dating is a good, decent guy and that's more important to her than any man she dates being a Christian so I think a lot of people are flexible in their beliefs when it comes to dating prospects. Usually due to bad experiences like a cheating ex-spouse that was an "ordained minister".

 

I think a lot of people just don't want to date extremists. Sometimes atheists can have successful relationships with devout Christians, but I think that's unusual. Most atheists and Christians are only interested in those of the similar beliefs. And of course there are denominations that expect member to only date within the denomination, or for the other person to convert. You might be familiar with that as a Catholic, eh?

 

The people who fall into the middle are often quite flexible. I was raised conservative, protestant Christian but it didn't stick. I still identity loosely as Christian, and took my daughter to church (Presbyterian) as she was growing up so she would have a choice (no exposure = no choice)... but the actuality is that I'm more of an agnostic who finds religion interesting in an academic sense.

 

I had a relationship with a woman who was a devout Christian. She converted from Judaism to Eastern Orthodox years before we met. The whole confession thing became an issue. She would go to confession and confess fornication, the priest would slut-shame her and make her promise never to do that again. Then she'd come to me and declare chastity until marriage. Then I'd phuk her some more and she'd be inbetween the rock and a hard one [pun intended]. You should've seen the scowls I got from the priest when I'd accompany her to services.

 

I mean seriously... the lady had been having sex since age 14, divorced with four kids and had dated several others before me. It's not like I was the one responsible for her becoming a sexual being! And I guarantee you that she is going through this same cycle with every new boyfriend she dates now.

 

She knows damn that she can't get or keep a man at our age (50s) without having sex, so she tries to hook'em with sex and then go chaste after a few months. She is truly a good person, and she doesn't do this consciously, but that's the way it works. They also do a lot of fasting (no sex during fasts) and for the extra devout there are only certain days of the week when sex is allowed.

 

So for me now, anything from non-religious to religious but don't take it seriously will work. But no more devoutly religious... unless they're Presbyterian, in which case that's not quite the same as being religious.

Edited July 26, 2015 by salparadise