First night out with 10+ people in maybe 2 years

[Teknoe]

I've lost my social circle I used to have when I was going to church. Since I've taken a hiatus from organized religion, I find whenever I do catch up with friends it's no bigger than 4 people, but most often, it's 1-on-1. It's kind of depressing to think about, but I basically have no social life right now.

 

I reached out to an old friend recently but he never got back to me. I guess I rejected him enough times where now he gave up on trying to connect. He's been busy too, but he recently invited me to his bday party (which I didn't go to, but before that he wasn't exactly inviting me out, we last saw each other 2013).

 

Anyway, tonight my brother hosted a little get-together, and I met some new people. Nothing in the way of friends, i.e. no contact numbers were exchanged, but we played board games for several hours, and it actually felt good to laugh and mess with others in a group of double digit people. I kinda miss that.

 

It was nice to be out on a Saturday night for a change, rather than staying in and watching a movie or playing games by myself, or plain surfing the net to kill some time.

 

Problem with me is, I find I'm a very niche kind of guy. I don't get along well with alpha males or "hi-tech" males (which dominates the area I live in). I like dorky quirky guys, because that's who I am at my core.

 

I also find I'd like to find, in a perfect world, a social circle that is cool meeting up once a week, or even once every 2 weeks. I don't need or want you up in my business every day or 3-4x a week... it's just too much for me.

 

I also prefer cheap dine-in's and board game nights. I'm not one of those people that enjoy just walking around the mall talking. I always hated that and I feel I'm in my best element during an interactive deceptive-based board/card game where I can show off my acting chops and say random stuff. This is where I made people laugh a lot and I feel most comfortable.

 

Sitting around a table of unless I feel super comfortable I often fade in the background and just listen.

 

Anyway, tonight was a nice break from the norm, and I had the most fun tonight that I've had in a long time. It made me feel young and alive again, lol. Heck, there was even a cute girl in the group that I never met before, and at one point we teamed up and beat everyone else. It was great!

 

I need to put in more of an effort to socialize and maybe find some kind of community. I've been without one for basically 3 years now, since I started working full time.

 

Ironic how I had friends and no full time job and was like "when I get that full time job I'll be set" and then it became "I have a full time job but no real super close friends now" sigh.

[lino]

Well done

 

Keep going with these sort of gatherings, they're good for you it seems.

 

Can relate on the job stuff. All part of getting older!

[anna121]

Maybe there are groups that do the kind of game-playing you like to do that are looking for space to get together. Could you offer that? Sort of make your place the hub.

 

Or, offer to your brother to co-organize another meet-up of this group.

 

I suggest you also push beyond your comfort zone and find things beyond that to do, that you might eventually come to enjoy.

[Teknoe]

Yeah my brother just told me he's trying to host another game night/BBQ in August. I suggested maybe he could look into making it a monthly game night, since he bought like 100s of board games (he might as well make good use out of it rather than merely collecting them). He said he's more like once a year, so I suggested perhaps bi-monthly then. We'll see. Similar to me, my brother isn't very social and neither is his wife. At his wedding I was his best man and his only other groomsman was an old college friend that doesn't really hang out with him anymore.

 

Neither of us have much of a social circle so we usually end up hanging out a few times a month.

 

Anna, I try to push myself beyond my comfort zone. Just last month I took a cooking class and then I joined a fitness class. All by myself. So I'm taking baby steps.

 

My cousin OTOH is a complete hermit. I was surprised I was able to get him out of the house last night for this event, and boy, did we have fun. I was shocked when he said "sure why not" to my invite as he had rejected several offers to get together prior to this. So when he said yes it was like fireworks going off, lol. I love him as the little brother I never had, and it was good to see him having fun last night.

 

I think it was great for everyone involved. Even my brother's wife lacks a social circle and tends to be a homebody. So it was nice seeing such a big group bonding over board games.

[anna121]

Yes, I remember now another thread where you talked about joining a cooking class and you seemed to like it. That's great. Keep doing it!

 

It's fine to hang out with family, but if they're ALL homebodies maybe try to extend your circle a bit, so it's not such a struggle to organize regular hang-outs.