whatsthepoint190 Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 Sorry this is so long. Hi. I have been depressed for about a month in a half. My wife left me on June 16th, the day after our three year wedding annerversary. We have had a domestic partnership for 5 years and togther for almost 8. She isnmy first true love. She said she needed to find herself and be alone. She said she wasnt happy and wasnt in love with me anymore. She went to live with her parents (who i am very close with and are also devistated). The devistation made me cry nonstop for a week, i slept maybe 3 hours that two week span, i had just passed my state examination for my RN 4 days before she left me after 5 years of working and going to school to get As to get into nursing school to begin with and I did it all for us. We talked about teaveling and all the doors this would open for us. We had plans for fertility treatments and family and land. While i was on my week of vacation before starting my job as a new rn she dropped the hammer on me. Its been a month and a half now. I am working and doing alright with work. Its very hard for me to focus on all the multitasking and new stuff I have to learn because my stress and anxiety levels are astronomical. Last year we moved into a rented townhouse which is 900.00 a month. She just left me here with the bills and obligations. She has dropped off some money to help here and there but im stuck in this big place, I have our dog who I adore, and ive been trying relentlessly to find a roomate and talk to other landlords and nobody can afford to be my roomate or cant move right now, and I cant find an apartment that will allow a little dog. Yesterday while I was at work she and her family came and moved everything out of here. All the nice furnature, ps4, solid oak electric fireplace, bedroom set, tables ect... stuff that we purchased with my extra school loan money and credit cards in my name thst i am stuck paying for for many years... im so overwhelmed. I already have abandonment issues from childhood- I come from a broken home and both my parents were abusive and alcoholics. Without telling me she also took our cat yesterday after we agreed she would stay with me until my ex wasnt living at her parents anymore because of thir dogs. So I didnt even get to say goodbye to her. So here I am, a tiny speck in this great big empty and expensive townhouse with my dog, everything gone, afraid in going to get evicted becsuse I wont have money to pay in a couple months. I am contracted for two years at the hospital I work for and I took a part time position because its good money, i had a wife who had a job and I have barley seen in years because of school and work, we had plans to spend the summer traveling and being together, and i cant pick up more hours because I am a new grad. We have two joint car payments that we cant refinance. If I were to pick up a part time job somewhere other than healthcare i would be working 3 12 hour shifts plus 2 or 3 8 hour shifts and my dog would be home alone all the time without even the cat to keep her company. I have suffered so much loss in my life I feel like Job from the bible. My dog is very sweet, young and energetic- she needs people and exercise and play and if I am gone 6 days per week she will suffer. To my name i only have the couch ive been sleeping on the past month and a half, a tv, my car, some kitchen stuff, and the clothes on my back. I went from being sucessful career and family woman, money to have nice furnature and good food, a beautiful and understanding (or so i thought) wife to help me get through the stress of nursing school, trips and outings,didnt want for anything, to being alone in this big townhouse, loss of almost everything, cant find a roomate of another apartment that will allow my dog, crushing debt, complely broken and shattered heart.... eating vienna sausages and ramen noodles- when i do eat. Ive lost 14 lbs since she left me. Im so stressed out, and lastnight when i came home and everything was gone and my cat was gone i went right back into that dark place I was in the week after she left. Ive never been one to contemplate suicide but why does the universe just keeps handing me tremendous loss... and i want the pain to just stop. I stopped drinking all alcohol when she left and am still scared to because of decreased inhibitions, im a nurse so I knew i needed help to help with this crisis so I journal and see a councilor once per week and started going to the universalist unitarian church every sunday I dont work. Im trying so hard and feel like the universe is just working against me. My life is ruined. My heart is broken. If I have to give up my dog too that will be the final straw- the last comfort I have. What is the point to living when you have nothing and have lost everything. When every day is an battle to try and make sense of things and find hope and every night you remain hopeless? Link to post Share on other sites
futureglory263 Posted July 27, 2015 Share Posted July 27, 2015 hey there. i'm so sorry to hear about the terrible heartache you are going through. I can't imagine that pain you are suffering through, and my heart really goes out to you. yet i'm glad to hear that you are getting help with seeing a counselor, being proactive with your decisionmaking and trying to keep a positive attitude despite everything that is happening. Right now, it must feel like you've hit rock bottom--and everything that's been happening has been so overwhelming. But please hang in there and instead take it one day at a time, one step at a time. Do you have friends or family that you can reach out to, or any that live nearby? Have you tried talking to your co-workers about rentals around the area that may accomodate you and your dog? In the bible, yes Job lost pretty much everything- his children, property, health- all were gone. But he did not despair or lose hope, but trusted in God to be faithful because God uses even the difficulties and the sufferings of our lives for good in ways that we cannot understand right now. Please don't lose hope =) I know you will get through this. Praying for you! Link to post Share on other sites
happyman64 Posted July 27, 2015 Share Posted July 27, 2015 WTP190 Did you know your GF was coming back to clean you out? Is her name on the lease, credit cards and car loans as well as yours? Because if I used student money and had a partner that just stole me blind I would stop crying and go to an attorney to help get her share of the funds to pay off these debts. Stop crying and start getting mad. I understand relationships not working out. But when two people live together and financially share the load that does not excuse them from their share of the debt. Especially when all you have left is the couch. Wakeup and show her some tough love. Get the legal help. HM Link to post Share on other sites
blidow Posted July 27, 2015 Share Posted July 27, 2015 If I was you I'd go get my stuff back. Link to post Share on other sites
LifesontheUp Posted July 29, 2015 Share Posted July 29, 2015 WTP190 Did you know your GF was coming back to clean you out? Is her name on the lease, credit cards and car loans as well as yours? Because if I used student money and had a partner that just stole me blind I would stop crying and go to an attorney to help get her share of the funds to pay off these debts. Stop crying and start getting mad. I understand relationships not working out. But when two people live together and financially share the load that does not excuse them from their share of the debt. Especially when all you have left is the couch. Wakeup and show her some tough love. Get the legal help. HM ^^^^ this Get legal advice now Link to post Share on other sites
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