Trying to be Nice, at the cost of my own Health....

[kittengal]

O.k. So i'm trying to be nice here.

 

My boyfriend who i live with, has a Sister and she LOVEs, Pets.

 

She has 3 dogs and 3 cats. Only one dig lives with her, because

she can only have one pet where she lives, so the others stay

with various friends of hers.

She recently moved from Tacoma to

Bellingham and does not have the room for all her pets so she only

took one dog and (2) cats are staying with US and her

dogs are staying with a friend of hers. Not sure where her 3rd

cat is staying.

 

Anyway, i was fine with it, my boyfriend asked if it was o.k. ahead

of time, i said sure. But now i'm finding that i'm allergic. I keep sneezing

and I wake up congested now. I don't feel sick, i just feel nasal-ish and

i 've been sneezing A Lot. We've had them for a month now, and i've had

symptoms for a month.

 

I keep mentioning it to my boyf and he seems concerned but doesn't say

Maybe I should call My sis and ask when she's coming to get them.

At first she said it was only going to be a month, But Now it seems as

though it's Open-Ended...she's not sure when she'll get them.

 

I think it's a bit lame that she has all these pets if she can't physically take

care of them all. I think pets are great and it's great that she has friends

that are nice enough to house her pets, but i think it's a bit lame that she

has them, yet they live somewhere else.

 

Am I wrong for thinking this? I want to say something to my Boyfriend, but

I feel bad. It's not the cat's fault, really. They are precious. But I just can't

have animals around like i thought i could. And it just starts bugging me

when I start thinking about the reason WHY we have them. Because

she can't take care of them and house them all.

[moimeme]

In the short term, why not try antihistamines? They are non-addictive and they'll make your life easier until sis takes her pets. And do try to find out when she can take them.

[RecordProducer]

Originally posted by kittengal

She has 3 dogs and 3 cats. Only one dig lives with her.

 

I think it's a bit lame that she has all these pets if she can't physically take

care of them all.

 

You're absolutely right! It seems that men don't hear us until we get angry. Keep in mind that if you say just one word AGAINST his sister, he will hate you for that. What I suggest is that you tell his sister directly about it. Be nice to her and say "You know I discovered that I am allergic to cats and I can't breathe, etc. Don't get me wrong, the cat is wonderful and I love her, and I am sooooooo sorry that I can't be helpful, but this is really a health issue." I believe she will take the cat as soon as she finds a new place for it.

 

After all, some medical theories believe that respiratory allergies are some form of asthma. So you have a right to remove the cause of your disease. If your BF (or his sister) doesn't do anything about it, you will at least know how ready he is to sacrifice for your health.

[kittengal]

thank you all.

 

 

Well, i won't cause any problems with his sis. I'm a nice gal. It just bugs me

i guess, because i have this funny feeling that his Sis has NO intention of

coming to get them and i'm just waiting for her to say: "Hey, I have an idea, How about if they

live with you and when i'm in town, i can visit them & I'll pay for their food!"....

I mean these cats were living with my boyfs parents before us, but they

said it was too much work, so she had to find somewhere else for them to

live.

 

I also think that his family, is a little quick to sort of take advantage of

my boyfriend's resources and help, since we have a nice apartment together

and good steady jobs. His sis and his brother are always down and out and

between jobs (they are in their mid 20's) and always moving in and out of

their mom and dad's house Or asking if they can crash at our place for a while..

or borrowing a little money?

 

They aren't Low-Lifes, just more spoiled and used to getting things their way, so they

don't feel bad about asking for whatever. So since his sis seems to act like she's 17 as

opposed to 25, she avoids responsability and has as many pets as she wants

but doesn't have the room for them.

 

I'm actually going to seek out some remedies today. It's funny

because my boyfriend has been sneezing a bit more frequently too

and has been complaining of a headache for the past week and

a half. Hmm....

[whichwayisup]

Just wait till you two want to go away together...That is when you tell the sister, "we don't mind looking after the cats once in a while but when do you think you'll be taking them back? We are planning some holidays soon since summer is coming up..." That is the nicest and easiest way of dealing with it.

 

In the meantime, antihistimines should work. Vaccuum and brush the cats too...(OOPS, I mean just brush the cats!)

[XNemesisX]

I think I sound a little bit like your boyf's sister so I think my face is red right now..

 

I do have a problem with getting pets on impulse and then not being able to care for all of them. I always get them back though but 2 of them my parents actually wanted to keep. (my parents are usually the ones to keep my pets for me). I did have my ex take care of one pet for me for a while though but I went and got that one back asap because he was mistreating him.

 

I have heard that if you are allergic to cats, then being around them for a long enough time will make you immune to the allergy. Just like how some people are allergic to garlic but over time the more they eat it the less allergic they become. Nevertheles, these pets are really not your responsibility so if you don't want to be around them then that is your right.

 

Definitely talk to her about it. If she is really hoping that you will keep her pets for her indefinitely, then maybe you could put an ad in the paper for them or try to find them homes. I'm sorry you got these pets dropped off on you

 

She really should make sure she can take care of her pets before she gets them (and again, I really need to practice what I preach on that one)....

 

So did I hear right that she only has one dog living with her? Do you think that maybe that is the only animal that she really wants to keep and she is hoping that you all will become attached to the other pets and end up wanting to keep them maybe???

[HotCaliGirl]

Wow, I can't believe someone would have other people watch/keep her pets! You must be very patitent to put up with this, especially since you are allergic to them. No way would I have them in my house. Why don't you tell your boyfriend that it's past due that either you or he call up his sis to get a date as to when she would be taking them back.

 

If shd doesn't even have one, then I'd tell her how sorry you are that she will be losing the cats, since you have allergies and overall it's been too big of a hardship for you to care for her pets, longer than was originally anticipated.

 

Ask if you she wants you to place an ad in the paper to give them away or ? but make sure she states when/what is to be done.

 

Don't let her walk all over you. She might even be doing this as a passive-agressive act, if she is jelous of her brother being with you and wants to impose or ??? I don't get how you can "have" pets, yet they don't live with you. Put an end to it already, before accommodating to the situation with meds etc.

 

And I'm so sorry that your boyfriend hasn't spoken up about it, seeing how you are physically reacting to them.

PS - XNemesisX That's a bad impulse you have!!

[RecordProducer]

I think it's ridiculous to call them HER pets when other people take care of them. Why didn't she rent an apartment where she could keep all her pets? It'd be too crappy, eh?

[XNemesisX]

Oh, speaking of which. Just the other night I saw an Oprah rerun on animal hoarding. It's actually considered a mental disorder!

 

It's when people can't control their impulse to get pets and tehy end up "hoarding" all these animals. One lady had 81 cats and 5 dogs and couldn't care for all of them. I will definitely be keeping my "hoarding" in check LOL.

 

Maybe your brother's sister is starting to get this obsession but realizes she can't really take care of them and wants to put them off on other people. It said on Oprah that the lady with the 81 cats starting getting them because she felt she would be "alone forever" and I guess this followed from a traumatic breakup. Is your boyf's sister a very lonely person? Also, a lot of animal lovers start impulsively getting homeless animals because they believe they are helping those animals, even though they can't really take care of all of them. Were these cats homeless when she got them? The guest on Oprah said that animals are better left homeless than in a home where they can't be cared for properly or where too many other animals live. They won't get enough attention that way, and also cats need their space. 2-3 pets should be the limit per household.

 

Ok, I don't know why exactly I went on about this but I thought it was interesting and maybe your bf's sis could be developing a problem with animal hoarding.....

 

Either way, it is still not your responsibility. Tell her that before she should keep all these animals she can't take care of, she should find other homes for them.

[alphamale]

Originally posted by kittengal

I think it's a bit lame that she has all these pets if she can't physically take

care of them all. I think pets are great and it's great that she has friends

that are nice enough to house her pets, but i think it's a bit lame that she

has them, yet they live somewhere else.

 

Am I wrong for thinking this?

this lady who "owns" the pets is taking advantage of family and friends. she is not a nice lady and a bit strange also. you should tell her u cannot take care of her pet anymore due to medical reasons and she'll have to find another person to take care of it by such and such date.

[HotCaliGirl]

Originally posted by XNemesisX

Oh, speaking of which. Just the other night I saw an Oprah rerun on animal hoarding. It's actually considered a mental disorder!

I Saw that Oprah episode too, but I don't think it has so much to do with lonliness - that's just an excuse. I think it's for attention and/or selfishness or a passive-agressive act.

 

The lady with the 81 cats was not alone. She had a family and a teenage daughter who was going out of her mind with all the cats. I think it is a form of abuse to make someone live with animals when they don't want to.

 

Oprah "surprised' the lady by saying that all her cats were going to be given to the Humane Society who would not put them to sleep, and the daughter was crying because she couldn't believe someone, not her mother, actually cared so much to resolve this problem.

 

Again, I would even let loose those cats, they got lost... Kittengal, if your "boyfriend" and his sister don't care how you feel, why should you care how they feel about those **** cats?

[XNemesisX]

The lady with the 81 cats was not alone. She had a family and a teenage daughter who was going out of her mind with all the cats. I think it is a form of abuse to make someone live with animals when they don't want to.

 

Wasn't the hoarding before she met the man she became engaged to, though? She said she starting getting the animals before her daughter was born, but it got worse after she had her child because she thought she would be alone forever..then the new man came along and she told him she had 81 cats and he loved her anyway but wanted them to go. I was thinking that the father of the little girl left her, and she felt she would always be alone in that she would never marry...

 

I did feel really sorry for the daughter...it was really sad. I don't think the woman was trying to be mean though, but she was being cruel without really realizing it. I felt sorry for the animals in that house too, because you know they had to be miserable. Those cats didn't get any space at all because of all the animals. And why wasn't she spaying these animals??? THAT is cruel too...cats and dogs should always be spayed or neutered these days because there are too many of them without homes.

 

It is very sad