Author Sweetgirlie Posted July 28, 2015 Author Share Posted July 28, 2015 Have you ever wondered why he never left his wife for this woman he loved so deeply? Even IF he reconnected with you, is it just to be an affair forever? I can't see how that is sustainable. Why not try and spice things with your H? You said you tried to find someone else, but you can't openly find someone else while your married. That means your looking for another MM or a single guy to have an affair with. You only live once, so why not either fix or leave the marriage and be authentically happy. He told me he was waiting until their kids graduated high school, and that they were planning on being together after that... I am trying to fix my marriage... trying not to get sucked back into a fling...I know how it will end I have been resisting getting physical because I know that's the huge game changer... Link to post Share on other sites
GoldenAxe Posted July 28, 2015 Share Posted July 28, 2015 Waiting for uncertain outcomes can eat your brain apart. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Got it Posted July 28, 2015 Share Posted July 28, 2015 I think he is clearly telling you his answer, but it isn't the answer you are wanting to hear. He is stilling you to move on. He is saying he doesn't want a relationship. You can't force that. I do agree that it looks like it was a bandaid for other issues that you have been running from. It's hard but you should focus there. You will need to mourn the relationship as well as mourn your marriage. I also highly recommend therapy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sweetgirlie Posted July 28, 2015 Author Share Posted July 28, 2015 I think he is clearly telling you his answer, but it isn't the answer you are wanting to hear. He is stilling you to move on. He is saying he doesn't want a relationship. You can't force that. I do agree that it looks like it was a bandaid for other issues that you have been running from. It's hard but you should focus there. You will need to mourn the relationship as well as mourn your marriage. I also highly recommend therapy. Mourn both? Link to post Share on other sites
Missinghim17 Posted August 5, 2015 Share Posted August 5, 2015 How long does it take for the MM to come back after a break? Do they always come back? Yes I want him back by the way, flame away.... Mine just came back after 2 years of not hearing from him. He lives in another state. I thought I was going to die when he disappeared but I made it through. I just started to get over him about 6 months before he called me, and unfortunately, I fell in love with him all over again when he contacted me. Wish I was strong enough to turn him away but its too late...again. When he used to live near me before the 2 year disappearance, he would sometimes not talk to me for 3 or 4 months and then come back. I know the agony. Its so painful waiting.... Link to post Share on other sites
Whisper Quiet Posted August 5, 2015 Share Posted August 5, 2015 Mine just came back after 2 years of not hearing from him. He lives in another state. I thought I was going to die when he disappeared but I made it through. I just started to get over him about 6 months before he called me, and unfortunately, I fell in love with him all over again when he contacted me. Wish I was strong enough to turn him away but its too late...again. When he used to live near me before the 2 year disappearance, he would sometimes not talk to me for 3 or 4 months and then come back. I know the agony. Its so painful waiting.... Has his situation changed? Is he free to honestly and openly pursue a relationship with you or is he still cake eating? Sorry for the T/J. Link to post Share on other sites
Missinghim17 Posted August 5, 2015 Share Posted August 5, 2015 Has his situation changed? Is he free to honestly and openly pursue a relationship with you or is he still cake eating? Sorry for the T/J. Same situation. Sad really. I had the opportunity to move on and I got sucked in again. I feel so weak. Link to post Share on other sites
Grapesofwrath Posted August 5, 2015 Share Posted August 5, 2015 During his disappearances, does he have other affairs? You may be one of a few women that he has on the side. If someone can abandon you for months or years at a time, I would strongly urge you to end this relationship immediately. I read elsewhere that you said he was mocking his wife while he video conferenced with you in front of his friends. Clearly, he has no respect for her nor do his friends. He has made a joke of her and his marriage to his buddies, and they laugh about her behind her back while she is upstairs in her home. This is appalling behavior and demonstrates that depths to which he can sink. I think it's time for you get angry at this person for treating you as disposable. You deserve so much more than this in your life. Link to post Share on other sites
Got it Posted August 5, 2015 Share Posted August 5, 2015 Mourn both? Yes mourn both. Ending a relationship, especially a marriage, warrants some level of mourning I have found. Your happiness comes from within and I think you are trying to cling to him to be the distraction so you don't have to focus on your own life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sweetgirlie Posted September 12, 2015 Author Share Posted September 12, 2015 Yes mourn both. Ending a relationship, especially a marriage, warrants some level of mourning I have found. Your happiness comes from within and I think you are trying to cling to him to be the distraction so you don't have to focus on your own life. Yes partially true. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts