GrUmPy1 Posted May 6, 2005 Share Posted May 6, 2005 my boyfriend and i have been going out for a year and 4 months, just last friday i discovered that he had been smoking weed behind my back. when we got together he used to smoke it and i knew i mean i dont like it but i can tolerate it so anyway he lost his job and i told him he needed to quit until he found another job. (we were trying to get our own place ) he said ok. he stayed jobless for nine months, mooching off ofme and my family. he was really into smoking so during these months i would ask him have you been smoking? he would look me in my eyes, straight at my face and would say no. i would make him swear that he wasnt smoking i would make him look into my eyes and he would lie and say baby i wouldnt smoke because i know you dont like it, i wouldnt do that to you because i know u'd be mad and i dont want to loose you. so anyway i caught him in the act and he said that that was the only time he'd smoked since we agreed he'd stop. well slowly but surely he admitted to have been smoking for the past four months, tho i believe longer. so anyways he and i have never had any issues as far as trust and lying to each other. ive always told him everything and he's always told me everything or so i thought. we are not perfect nor was our relationship but we were in love i trusted him to be honest and he wasnt. he treated me like a queen like basically everyone thought that i had him like if i said jump he'd say how high. (tho i never took him for granted or advantage) he was my prince charming the guy who was different from all the other a**h***s ive ever been with and he lied to me, its no really so much the weed thing its just that he lied and it was soooo easy for him to lie, the lies just rolled off his tounge like nothing. the day i found out and day after i was a wreck i was crying really hard i was weezing and huffing and i looked horibble i just kept asking him why. i literally felt like if he had cheated on me i cant explain it you guys might thing im over reacting but to me once youve betrayedme there is no going back. i lived for this man i loved him with all my heart and he still lied to me, even the night i confronted him i kept asking him "you'd never lie to me right baby?' and he still lied. he said he didnt tell me because he was scared that i'd leave him. now its almost a week later and the spark i had for him isnt there. i still care for him but im not sure if i still love him. like 4 days ago if i had read back this post i probably would be in tears and now it doesnt even make a difference. i dont know if loneliness wants me to keep him around or if i truly still love him. i get caught up in the moment someitmes when were together and hug him and kiss him but then i get so angry because i feel like he's getting off easy like he hasnt hurt like i have like our love wasnt as deep as i thought. yesterday i told him it was completely over that i didnt want to see him again but not 5 minutes later i felt empty and took it back but i told him things still werent 100% with us.s he said he would spend forever trying to get me back and he would take drug test every two weeks if he had too that he wont lie ever again but my thing is he shouldnt have lied in the first place and things shouldnt have gotten to the point where he needs to be tested every two weeks. the whole point is does anyone under stand where im coming from? should i forgive him ? is it possible for the love to just turn off like that? y do i feel so betrayed? (andno it isnt baggage from last relationships) Link to post Share on other sites
dsgb Posted May 6, 2005 Share Posted May 6, 2005 Take your time and really analyze the situation. There are a lot of great guys out there that are probably wanting to get to know you better. If that guy cannot straighten up then thats what you need to do is move on. Good Luck Link to post Share on other sites
Agnes Posted May 9, 2005 Share Posted May 9, 2005 The basis of any 'good' relationship, if you want it to last is trust and communication. Trust is earned and hard to gain back. I think if he really felt the way he says he did about you then he would never have lied in the first place. You can still love him, I think that even with relationships that dont work out, it takes some of us longer to get over the loss of the love and still to some degree love the person for a very long time. But there are probably a lot of guys out there, that if they had the chance to know you, would never lie to you if they were in the same relationship. So, you probably need to ask yourself a few questions.. Ok, so you know he is a liar, do you still love him anyway and would you stay with him. if he lied again? You know he will probably lie again in the future. If you can live with that then stick with him, if not.. try to move on... As much as it may hurt, dont settle when it comes to your happiness, life is too short. Link to post Share on other sites
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