How to maintain a successful relationship?

[NVO]

Alright, looking back at my former relationship I made some mistakes in the end. With two jobs, working six days a week, I was satisfied to come home and watch some series with my girl. So maybe, I sometimes started to treat her more as a friend than as my lover (I think). Or did I not?

 

Point of this thread is, I am really curious about ways people make their relationships work. What do women and men want in their relationship? How to keep things excited, even after a long while?

 

You read all those things about taking someone for granted, but what is taking someone for granted anyway? Even though we did not date that much, I did show her affection. Does this mean that I took my ex for granted even though I booked our holiday? It also fascinates me that this 'taking for granted' thing mostly applies to men when I read things about in on the internet. Why is that? Or are there some men on here that feel that they were taken for granted? And for what reasons?

 

So I guess just a general discussion thread about how to maintain a successful relationship. Really curious about all your experiences!

[StalwartMind]

That really depends on the two parts involved. What may work for one couple may not work for another. With that said though I do think there are some key areas that can help insure you are alignment with your partner, although this is by all means no guarantee.

 

Honesty is the thing I value the most by far, it should always be a critical part of any relationship, especially if you hope to have it be long term. Some issues may be difficult to discuss but if you can actually talk with your partner about anything, then you have an advantage.

 

Showing kindness, being mindful and respectful is something most humans could do a lot better with. Listen to your partner, don't judge or blame, even if you do not agree with them. Ideally you share the same view on all core values that mean the most to the both of you. We all have different needs, but being able to understand what makes your partner happy and comfortable goes a long way to ensuring that you stay that way.

 

Many people will probably tell you that "every" relationship stagnates after awhile, be it weeks, months or perhaps a year, however I never found that to be the case for myself. My own passion and love only grows, which more than likely has to do with me always wanting to know my partner even better. There are plenty of ways to keep things fresh, although again it will depends on the two parts involved. Having a good imagination coupled with creativity can make even the same things be seen in a new light. So if you both have an open mind then I would say your opportunities are limitless.

 

Understand that there is no "magical recipe" in how to please your partner, it will always require individual effort. Don't get complacent but at the same time also remember not to force things. A natural flow typically leads to the best experiences, so it just really helps you pay attention to your partner and learn how the react. Be patient as we all have different ways to show our moods and how to change them.

 

There are without a doubt many other things that can be said, I would say that discovering what really makes a relationship work, is half the journey and you need to be willing to put in the required effort. Everyone have different ways on how they perceive their partner should be, but I would again say that in a healthy relationship, both parts should be giving all of themselves. Be mindful of not becoming needy, greedy or demanding things that would be hurtful. In a good relationship there is a nice balance between giving and receiving, hopefully you both feel that way.