apalm Posted July 28, 2015 Share Posted July 28, 2015 I am a married man, 30 years old and my wife has given me a "free pass" sexually. There is a girl at my work who is 22, I am her boss, whom I like alot. I will say, I consider this girl out of my league, but at the same time she is pretty wild. For about a year now we have had a relationship where we stay after work late and drink, sometimes with others, sometimes just the 2 of us. One time after a work party myself and another guy went over to her apartment to smoke and play some video games and while he was in the bathroom, she showed me a tatoo that was, lets just say, only covered up by a SMALL bikini bottom. I often feel that she goes out of her way to show me some cleavage. We talk openly and alot of it is around sexual things. Last night after work we were talking about a situation at another facility regarding sexual harassment and she said "that wouldn't be bad with all bosses" and then went on to tell me that she hooked up with one of her previous bosses "many times". I have dropped that my wife is ok with me doing what I want. She has a somewhat boyfriend, but also goes out with alot of other guys and tells me about her dates. I am confused about the whole thing. Is she sending me signals or not? How do I explore this without seeming like a creeper? Being that she is my employee there is a bit of concern there that if I make a move and she is not interested, that it could have repercussions with my job-but I also feel that she is not that kind of person and would just blow it off. And before you say "You're 30 and you can't figure this out"...I can't. My wife is the only person I have ever been with, and our relationship pretty much happened because she made the first move. I don't have the greatest self confidence I guess. So what kind of subtle move can I make that would let her know I'm interested in her? Link to post Share on other sites
OldRover Posted July 28, 2015 Share Posted July 28, 2015 I am a married man, 30 years old and my wife has given me a "free pass" sexually. There is a girl at my work who is 22, I am her boss, whom I like alot. I will say, I consider this girl out of my league, but at the same time she is pretty wild. For about a year now we have had a relationship where we stay after work late and drink, sometimes with others, sometimes just the 2 of us. One time after a work party myself and another guy went over to her apartment to smoke and play some video games and while he was in the bathroom, she showed me a tatoo that was, lets just say, only covered up by a SMALL bikini bottom. I often feel that she goes out of her way to show me some cleavage. We talk openly and alot of it is around sexual things. Last night after work we were talking about a situation at another facility regarding sexual harassment and she said "that wouldn't be bad with all bosses" and then went on to tell me that she hooked up with one of her previous bosses "many times". I have dropped that my wife is ok with me doing what I want. She has a somewhat boyfriend, but also goes out with alot of other guys and tells me about her dates. I am confused about the whole thing. Is she sending me signals or not? How do I explore this without seeming like a creeper? Being that she is my employee there is a bit of concern there that if I make a move and she is not interested, that it could have repercussions with my job-but I also feel that she is not that kind of person and would just blow it off. And before you say "You're 30 and you can't figure this out"...I can't. My wife is the only person I have ever been with, and our relationship pretty much happened because she made the first move. I don't have the greatest self confidence I guess. So what kind of subtle move can I make that would let her know I'm interested in her? You can do a lot of things... lunch, a few gifts, and then bring dinner to her place. You'll find out a lot.... Now, you know there's lots of risk dating your subordinate. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 28, 2015 Share Posted July 28, 2015 I can't get past the fact that you are married & the woman in question is your employee. At least one of those things will end of raining a world of hurt down on you. I'd find a woman who isn't your subordinate to use your "free pass" Link to post Share on other sites
GoBlue Posted July 28, 2015 Share Posted July 28, 2015 I am confused about the whole thing. Is she sending me signals or not? How do I explore this without seeming like a creeper? Being that she is my employee there is a bit of concern there that if I make a move and she is not interested, that it could have repercussions with my job-but I also feel that she is not that kind of person and would just blow it off. What could possibly go wrong in this situation? Your wife has given you a "free-pass" - no Red Flags there, and a 22 year-old employee has gone out of her way to scream in your ear that she wants to "hook-up." She has shown you private parts and has admitted that she has been with a boss before (did she mention the settlement that her former employer coughed up?). Clearly there are no land-mines waiting to blow up in your face causing you to lose a marriage and a job. Right??? Do you really think that your life is going to get better when you step outside of your marriage and experience sex with someone else? If you love your wife you better consider what you are going to do to figure out why she would agree to something like this in the first place, the sooner the better. Link to post Share on other sites
OldRover Posted July 28, 2015 Share Posted July 28, 2015 GoBlue, Very good point... for some reason I missed the married part... in the first sentence..... Yes, hooking up with this lady has a LOT of risk. Link to post Share on other sites
jadelover Posted July 29, 2015 Share Posted July 29, 2015 (edited) I am a married man, 30 years old and my wife has given me a "free pass" sexually. There is a girl at my work who is 22, I am her boss, whom I like alot. I will say, I consider this girl out of my league, but at the same time she is pretty wild. For about a year now we have had a relationship where we stay after work late and drink, sometimes with others, sometimes just the 2 of us. One time after a work party myself and another guy went over to her apartment to smoke and play some video games and while he was in the bathroom, she showed me a tatoo that was, lets just say, only covered up by a SMALL bikini bottom. I often feel that she goes out of her way to show me some cleavage. We talk openly and alot of it is around sexual things. Last night after work we were talking about a situation at another facility regarding sexual harassment and she said "that wouldn't be bad with all bosses" and then went on to tell me that she hooked up with one of her previous bosses "many times". I have dropped that my wife is ok with me doing what I want. She has a somewhat boyfriend, but also goes out with alot of other guys and tells me about her dates. I am confused about the whole thing. Is she sending me signals or not? How do I explore this without seeming like a creeper? Being that she is my employee there is a bit of concern there that if I make a move and she is not interested, that it could have repercussions with my job-but I also feel that she is not that kind of person and would just blow it off. And before you say "You're 30 and you can't figure this out"...I can't. My wife is the only person I have ever been with, and our relationship pretty much happened because she made the first move. I don't have the greatest self confidence I guess. So what kind of subtle move can I make that would let her know I'm interested in her? Wow! I just can't imagine your wife gave you a free pass sexually dating someone else and she has her own too.. This won't work on my end but that's your life. Anyways, you will know if a girl is interested in you if "She Can't Take Her Eyes Off Of You and She Stays Close Enough For You To Kiss Her. I know this because I'm a woman. My advice for you is just talk to her and try to get to know her. Once you find something you have in common, roll with it to ease into convo. You actually ARE interested in her so you shouldn't have to try to act interested, it will show. Edited July 29, 2015 by jadelover wrong spelling Link to post Share on other sites
OldRover Posted August 3, 2015 Share Posted August 3, 2015 apalm, What's going on now, haven't heard from you in a few days? Link to post Share on other sites
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