Should it personally? Is it affecting his sex drive?

[shasta]

hi. i'm new to this board and i have a question. a few really.(i posted below too) My ex boyfriend and i have recently reconciled...He has problems maintaining an erection and especially when putting on a condom he loses it. But i also know he's mad into porn, at least all those boys talk about it alot...and especially asian porn (i'm white). I don't mind that he's into it, i dont' think it's more than most guys, and i dont' mind watching it with him, but it's the asian porn that i feel threatened by. I'm just confused on what it all means, if he's having a hard time maintaining it for me, is this because his feelings arent' strong enough for me? I know he adores me, but i can't help but feel insecure about the porn stuff. He's always complimenting me in bed, we are very active and passionate, I'm completely aroused by him and he is by me but he just can't maintain it...does this mean his mind is elsewhere or he has reservations about us getting back together? Should i take it personally? HELP!!

[Tony T]

There are many reasons a man is unable to maintain an erection. Most of them are psychological.

 

However, a good medical doctor can determine if there are any biological reasons for this problem. Certain medications can cause this as well as excessive masturbation, diabetes, blood pressure problems, etc.

 

Performance anxiety is a major psychological problem associated with inability to achieve erection.

 

In my opinion, the porn is irrelevant except to the extent that his preoccupation with it is disrespectful to you. If he is obsessed with it, it could be accompanied by excessive masturbation. His mind may be trained to become excited at only certain sights.

 

The problem could also be attributed to recollections of difficulties you had when you were seeing each other before. Those problems are most likely still around and you may have to deal with them.

 

At any rate, I think you will have to get professional help for him to determine the root cause. First, have him get a thorough physical examination including blood tests for diabetes, etc.

 

There are some excellent sites on the Internet that dicuss this problem in detail. Go to your favoriate search engine and enter: erectile dysfunction You will be able to read for days.

 

In the longrun, his preoccupation with pornography will be the undoing of your relationship. It is a sexual addiction that is difficult to overcome. If you want more details on this, go to the links section of this website, then click on addiction and recovery, then click sexual addiction. You will see pornography as one of the addictions indicated as well as a description. There will also be organizations you can contact for additional information.

 

You've got some research to do.

[Dave]

I had the same problem with my Ex GF. Well, with me it was various things together. I was very stressed out, and that kilss a male erection. Stress and depression can significantly diminish a man's ability to achieve and maintain an erection. Well, I had the arousal problem, shall we say. Because physically nothing was wrong with my penis itself.

 

If a person is turned on, but the erection is not working properly, it is most likely physical.

 

If your boyfriend can achieve a good erection my masturbating, it means that he is physically fine, and it is some sort of a psychological erectile failure. If he wakes up in the morning with a good erection, he is fine physically, or if he has night time erections.

 

Ask him these questions.

 

It might be the case that he masturbates a lot, and when he gets together with you, he is already satisfied. Hell, when I masturbate 2-3 times a day, I would definitely have erectile failure if I tried to have sex later that day, even with CIndy Crawford.

 

But with me, I was failing very often with my GF, but it turned out that it was not just my stress and depression, it was also her, because I successfuly had sex after her with few other women. I am not trying to say that he is not attracted to you. All I am saying is that male erectile mechanism is a very complicated phenomenon, and it can be distrupted by a variety of reasons.

 

But my bet is that if he is into porn, his libido is fine, and if he keeps failing with you, it might be the condom, or it might be that he likes you so much and wants to please you that he forgets about his own pleasure, and he looses his erection, because he is anxious.

 

If he gets erection by masturbating, or upon waking or during night, or even sometimes when you have sex, it is 99.99% psychological

 

hi. i'm new to this board and i have a question. a few really.(i posted below too) My ex boyfriend and i have recently reconciled...He has problems maintaining an erection and especially when putting on a condom he loses it. But i also know he's mad into porn, at least all those boys talk about it alot...and especially asian porn (i'm white). I don't mind that he's into it, i dont' think it's more than most guys, and i dont' mind watching it with him, but it's the asian porn that i feel threatened by. I'm just confused on what it all means, if he's having a hard time maintaining it for me, is this because his feelings arent' strong enough for me? I know he adores me, but i can't help but feel insecure about the porn stuff. He's always complimenting me in bed, we are very active and passionate, I'm completely aroused by him and he is by me but he just can't maintain it...does this mean his mind is elsewhere or he has reservations about us getting back together? Should i take it personally? HELP!!