jbrent890 Posted August 6, 2015 Share Posted August 6, 2015 Thanks for the encouragement everyone. I reread these posts to help get me through. ❤️ I think you are doing a great job. In addition to IC when you decide to get it. I would also pick up some books too. You might find this helpful. Women's Infidelity | Why Women Cheat And Have Affairs 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Shinebrightforever Posted August 7, 2015 Author Share Posted August 7, 2015 Thanks, JBrent. That was a great article. Completely could relate to the grief. Also to the fact that most women want the high of the affair as well as the security of marriage. 100% true for me! Today I felt a lot of nausea, a lot of numbness, felt emotionally on edge. Not one who swears typically, but dropped a few today. Just not myself. Even thought of emailing Mm with a "Psyche...gotcha! Just kidding, I'm cool with contact". It's quite a sad, miserable scene. 66charger...I'm not a creeper. But...I needed a visual in my office to remind me of the "strength, honor" you spoke of. I mean, that's what I'm seeking. So I printed off a photo of a 66 Charger and posted in my suite. Just appreciative of this community and every single one of you out there. Couldn't find a picture tangible of Qubist, or Hope Shimmers, or RHM, or Undestand 50....etc. Or I would have added all of you. Thanks JBrent890! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
66Charger Posted August 7, 2015 Share Posted August 7, 2015 (edited) I like the idea of you dropping a few curse words. Good for you. Its tough, but trust us, you will feel differently in 1 week. Your strength will return. Try a rubics cube for cubist. The word Hope is strong enough to post on your desk. Not sure what understand 50s logo is. Some sort of pyramid? What is that bro? Anyway. A lot of us check in on you. Stay strong thru the darkness. I saw that you have posted on other threads. When you feel the draw, of the OM, Read about the damage of affairs to others and to the person who is in the affair. Post what you think. Train yourself to think of affairs differently. Soon you will be there. We see it. We are proud of you. When you make it thru this crap, you will be ready for your second life that you started a few days ago. Edited August 7, 2015 by 66Charger 2 Link to post Share on other sites
66Charger Posted August 7, 2015 Share Posted August 7, 2015 I have a suggestion. A assignment if you wish. Buy yourself a journal. Then buy some small stick on stars at the craft store. Write SECOND LIFE on the first page. Every morning that you wake up and have maintained NC, put a star in the corner of a new page. Then write whatever you want or nothing on that page. , but you can not write about the AP or the Affair. Train yourself to make it thru one more night. You don't have to write daily, but put the star in daily. When you start forgetting to put in the stars, you will start forgeting about the OM. It might work, or it my be another stupid idea I cooked up with a 2 beer buzz. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Shinebrightforever Posted August 7, 2015 Author Share Posted August 7, 2015 Trying not to post my emotional wreckage over here..as I'm sure some of you who are encouraging me may have been on the other side of the betrayal...and maybe been in my H shoes. How insulting to hear the bemoanings from a WS...a product of her own horrid choices. So my only update is... I'm still living. Swearing still intact. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
qubist Posted August 7, 2015 Share Posted August 7, 2015 Trying not to post my emotional wreckage over here..as I'm sure some of you who are encouraging me may have been on the other side of the betrayal...and maybe been in my H shoes. How insulting to hear the bemoanings from a WS...a product of her own horrid choices. So my only update is... I'm still living. Swearing still intact. good to hear from you, you will be fine, just accept who you are and do the things that you believe are right. It is very important to feel good about yourself before you do any other step. Hugs 1 Link to post Share on other sites
66Charger Posted August 7, 2015 Share Posted August 7, 2015 It is 1000 times better to post your emotional wreckage here, than to break NC. This is what LS is for. Post. There also is a big difference between a WS who is fighting to change direction and heal, versus someone who cheated and is loving it. Swear away. Glad your in the anger stage. Get it out. Heal. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Shinebrightforever Posted August 8, 2015 Author Share Posted August 8, 2015 Okay...here it goes... I can't believe he just ghosted me...he just took off on me and left me hanging with no goodbye. After 4 years of promising me he wouldnt..that's bs. I would have understood. It would have kept me from hanging on for an extra couple months. I want to contact him just to give him a piece of my mind! Likewise. I can't believe I expected differently. I can't believe I got myself here. I can't believe my mind and heart are incapable of getting on the same page. I can't believe I thought it would be worth it...thst he truly loved me. I can't believe I sold myself out. I can't believe what horrible mom and wife I have turned out to be. I can't believe how much this hurts. But id rather go through it then my family. I can't believe I'm here...feeling out of control. Emotionally unstable. Scarlet lettered. Scarred. Because I thought I could handle it and not get in too deep. Don't EVER think you can handle it.... I think I'll be okay for a bit now..fingers crossed. Thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
AlwaysGrowing Posted August 8, 2015 Share Posted August 8, 2015 Thanks, JBrent. That was a great article. Completely could relate to the grief. Also to the fact that most women want the high of the affair as well as the security of marriage. 100% true for me! Today I felt a lot of nausea, a lot of numbness, felt emotionally on edge. Not one who swears typically, but dropped a few today. Just not myself. Even thought of emailing Mm with a "Psyche...gotcha! Just kidding, I'm cool with contact". It's quite a sad, miserable scene. 66charger...I'm not a creeper. But...I needed a visual in my office to remind me of the "strength, honor" you spoke of. I mean, that's what I'm seeking. So I printed off a photo of a 66 Charger and posted in my suite. Just appreciative of this community and every single one of you out there. Couldn't find a picture tangible of Qubist, or Hope Shimmers, or RHM, or Undestand 50....etc. Or I would have added all of you. Thanks JBrent890! Just make sure that you are not now seeking validation from other outside sources. A picture to remind you of you and your journey/goal/who you want to be....would be more beneficial than a pic to remind you of someone else and what they said. Take on those qualities.....see a pic of a star....shinebrightforever. Associate those qualities with YOU. Expect more of yourself...believe in yourself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
66Charger Posted August 8, 2015 Share Posted August 8, 2015 Okay...here it goes... I can't believe he just ghosted me...he just took off on me and left me hanging with no goodbye. After 4 years of promising me he wouldnt..that's bs. I would have understood. It would have kept me from hanging on for an extra couple months. I want to contact him just to give him a piece of my mind! Likewise. I can't believe I expected differently. I can't believe I got myself here. I can't believe my mind and heart are incapable of getting on the same page. I can't believe I thought it would be worth it...thst he truly loved me. I can't believe I sold myself out. I can't believe what horrible mom and wife I have turned out to be. I can't believe how much this hurts. But id rather go through it then my family. I can't believe I'm here...feeling out of control. Emotionally unstable. Scarlet lettered. Scarred. Because I thought I could handle it and not get in too deep. Don't EVER think you can handle it.... I think I'll be okay for a bit now..fingers crossed. Thank you. Feel better now? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Shinebrightforever Posted August 8, 2015 Author Share Posted August 8, 2015 Just make sure that you are not now seeking validation from other outside sources. A picture to remind you of you and your journey/goal/who you want to be....would be more beneficial than a pic to remind you of someone else and what they said. Take on those qualities.....see a pic of a star....shinebrightforever. Associate those qualities with YOU. Expect more of yourself...believe in yourself. Well said. I'm just not there...yet. My goal is to have that confidence in my self soon. But right now, if it wasn't for a couple people giving me their thoughts, time, words..hugs...on here. I wouldn't have done it. I believe I can do difficult things. But right now, I'm holding on to some of you to keep me from giving up. I hope that'll change soon. Then I'll put a star NEXT to the rest of my jewels. Link to post Share on other sites
Hope Shimmers Posted August 8, 2015 Share Posted August 8, 2015 Okay...here it goes... I can't believe he just ghosted me...he just took off on me and left me hanging with no goodbye. After 4 years of promising me he wouldnt..that's bs. I would have understood. It would have kept me from hanging on for an extra couple months. I want to contact him just to give him a piece of my mind! Likewise. I can't believe I expected differently. I can't believe I got myself here. I can't believe my mind and heart are incapable of getting on the same page. I can't believe I thought it would be worth it...thst he truly loved me. I can't believe I sold myself out. I can't believe what horrible mom and wife I have turned out to be. I can't believe how much this hurts. But id rather go through it then my family. I can't believe I'm here...feeling out of control. Emotionally unstable. Scarlet lettered. Scarred. Because I thought I could handle it and not get in too deep. Don't EVER think you can handle it.... I think I'll be okay for a bit now..fingers crossed. Thank you. I've been there and done that. You are doing the right thing. Your anger is helping you and people here have your back. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Hope Shimmers Posted August 8, 2015 Share Posted August 8, 2015 Well said. I'm just not there...yet. My goal is to have that confidence in my self soon. But right now, if it wasn't for a couple people giving me their thoughts, time, words..hugs...on here. I wouldn't have done it. I believe I can do difficult things. But right now, I'm holding on to some of you to keep me from giving up. I hope that'll change soon. Then I'll put a star NEXT to the rest of my jewels. You have a couple of pretty good cheerleaders on this thread. Some good guys... and I will join in with them. Don't give up. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Shinebrightforever Posted August 8, 2015 Author Share Posted August 8, 2015 yeah...typing that out felt good...66charger.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Shinebrightforever Posted August 8, 2015 Author Share Posted August 8, 2015 Thanks Hope Shimmers (love that name btw)...sorry you've been there done that yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Shinebrightforever Posted August 8, 2015 Author Share Posted August 8, 2015 Side note.. not thinking you guys are my replacements for IC or anything like that...Have that starting next week. iJust rereading this thread has been huge. I just might vent again sometime...that's all. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted August 8, 2015 Share Posted August 8, 2015 That's what we're here for! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Hope Shimmers Posted August 8, 2015 Share Posted August 8, 2015 Side note.. not thinking you guys are my replacements for IC or anything like that...Have that starting next week. iJust rereading this thread has been huge. I just might vent again sometime...that's all. Go for it. Do it for me too. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
qubist Posted August 8, 2015 Share Posted August 8, 2015 Side note.. not thinking you guys are my replacements for IC or anything like that...Have that starting next week. iJust rereading this thread has been huge. I just might vent again sometime...that's all. Good morning Shinebrightforevever, no we are nor a replacement for a professional IC, but we could some sort of IC. we are rooting for you. feel free to vent out all what's inside you. ther will be someone here who either experienced it or had seen it, BTW you are doing great and you will pass through this, do not beat yourself too hard. HUGS 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Shinebrightforever Posted August 9, 2015 Author Share Posted August 9, 2015 (edited) Hugs to you Qubist Will do turnera and Hope Shimmers. ❤️ Thank you. Edited August 9, 2015 by Shinebrightforever Link to post Share on other sites
Author Shinebrightforever Posted August 9, 2015 Author Share Posted August 9, 2015 Ahh! He contacted me!!! Ahhhhhh! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Shinebrightforever Posted August 9, 2015 Author Share Posted August 9, 2015 (edited) He texted me "just checking in to see how you are...?" What the heck!?!? Edited August 9, 2015 by Shinebrightforever Link to post Share on other sites
qubist Posted August 9, 2015 Share Posted August 9, 2015 He texted me "just checking in to see how you are...?" Wtf!?!? Ignore him, this is a test, do not fall for it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Shinebrightforever Posted August 9, 2015 Author Share Posted August 9, 2015 Testing my resolve. Making sure I mean it. Link to post Share on other sites
DKT3 Posted August 9, 2015 Share Posted August 9, 2015 Testing my resolve. Making sure I mean it. Or trying to make you dance on the string. You don't find it odd that he went all this time without contact......until you sent the NC? Ignore, and if your serious about it being over BLOCK BLOCK BLOCK. Stay strong, don't crack the door and let him pull you back in. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts