qubist Posted August 4, 2015 Share Posted August 4, 2015 Why do I feel like this is the hardest thing I've done in my life!?!?!?!? Sorry that you are feeling this way. you can just trust us and press the send button you will understand the benefit later. or if you don't feel like it now don't do it forget about it . go do something else different. go outside o watch a movie talk to a close friend or relative. maybe you'd feel better later. this is hard for you because you are not prepared mentally for these kind of challenges. I would really recommend C for your during this process 1 Link to post Share on other sites
66Charger Posted August 4, 2015 Share Posted August 4, 2015 No. Do not put this off The affair is NOT over until you say its over. Not by words, but by deeds. Do not think about how you feel now. Think about how you will feel in a week. I guarantee in a few days you will feel relief. Send it and greive. Then wake up tomorrow and greive less. Send the email Start your Second Life....today 2 Link to post Share on other sites
66Charger Posted August 4, 2015 Share Posted August 4, 2015 Have courage little lost flower. With the pain, comes the healing. Its time to heal yourself. Send 2 Link to post Share on other sites
understand50 Posted August 4, 2015 Share Posted August 4, 2015 No. Do not put this off The affair is NOT over until you say its over. Not by words, but by deeds. Do not think about how you feel now. Think about how you will feel in a week. I guarantee in a few days you will feel relief. Send it and greive. Then wake up tomorrow and greive less. Send the email Start your Second Life....today Shinebrightforever, Read and Heed. Remember the to do list for moving on with your life? This is the first big step. - take it. You will feel better, as you know you cannot go along as before. I wish you luck. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
66Charger Posted August 4, 2015 Share Posted August 4, 2015 (edited) 10 characters Edited August 4, 2015 by 66Charger Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted August 4, 2015 Share Posted August 4, 2015 Drafted it. Took me all day. Kept rewriting it, deleting it. Cried all day, coworkers think I'm crazy. Could not hit the send button. Just...couldn't. But...it's drafted. Seriously...the A is over. It's not necessary...it's done. He's done!!It IS necessary to send it. Don't you see that? The fact that you CAN'T send it is proof you are going to waffle if you don't. Send it. Right now. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
66Charger Posted August 5, 2015 Share Posted August 5, 2015 Driving you to the top 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Shinebrightforever Posted August 5, 2015 Author Share Posted August 5, 2015 Thx 66Charger. Shedding lots of layers of Bs tonight. Lots of grieving. LoTs. Thanks for believing in me, and my ability to reclaim my honor. Link to post Share on other sites
66Charger Posted August 5, 2015 Share Posted August 5, 2015 3 months. Sb. Do the time. It will be hard, but dig deep and do it. I would like to suggest that you also Read and post on other threads here, not just you own. People know you and will respect your effort. Even if it is a "sorry you are going thru that" or "learn from me" post. We want to see your name and your thoughts. Strength and Honor (Something you repeat when the going gets tough and bullets are flying) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
66Charger Posted August 5, 2015 Share Posted August 5, 2015 Btw, we may be giving you a pass on confessing(for now), but not the NC email. Dont think we will forget 2 Link to post Share on other sites
qubist Posted August 5, 2015 Share Posted August 5, 2015 Good Morning Shinebrightforever, I hope you are feeling better today. I was reading a topic in this forum and thought about you. the topic is called " Serial cheater" if you can go read it, it shows a typical example of how a cheating MM thinks. this is exactly what we wanted to tell you. hopefully it would help you realize that you are not loosing anything by ending your A, as a matter of fact you will gain a lot your self first. it is funny how this guy in that topic is feeling hurt and disappointed that all of his APs wanted more than sex 2 Link to post Share on other sites
66Charger Posted August 5, 2015 Share Posted August 5, 2015 Good morning from me also, SB. Dont think we are going away. Another day at the beginning of your new life. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
understand50 Posted August 5, 2015 Share Posted August 5, 2015 Hi as well, How are things going? Did you send the No contact letter? New day, new possibilities to move forward. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Shinebrightforever Posted August 5, 2015 Author Share Posted August 5, 2015 Thank you everyone. Sent. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
qubist Posted August 5, 2015 Share Posted August 5, 2015 the best thing I read today . how are you feeling? did he respond? if he does please disregard it Link to post Share on other sites
Author Shinebrightforever Posted August 5, 2015 Author Share Posted August 5, 2015 I feel numb. No...he didn't respond. If he hasn't contacted me in so long, I can't imagine he will respond to this. That'd be messed up on his part. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
qubist Posted August 5, 2015 Share Posted August 5, 2015 I feel numb. No...he didn't respond. If he hasn't contacted me in so long, I can't imagine he will respond to this. That's be messed up on his part. don't worry it doesn't matter any way if he responded or not I was just curious. Congratulations on your decision I know that you are not feeling right but it will be alright. you just have to teach yourself to forget about all the emotional mess you've been in and focus on yourself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
66Charger Posted August 5, 2015 Share Posted August 5, 2015 FANTASTIC! Step one, day one. Second life. You have dusted off your star and now it is shining brite. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
understand50 Posted August 5, 2015 Share Posted August 5, 2015 I feel numb. No...he didn't respond. If he hasn't contacted me in so long, I can't imagine he will respond to this. That'd be messed up on his part. Good for you. I know this feels bad, but it will get better for you soon. Do something for yourself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Shinebrightforever Posted August 5, 2015 Author Share Posted August 5, 2015 Good for you. I know this feels bad, but it will get better for you soon. Do something for yourself. I am having a huge, very strong..drink. Then I'm going to eat something sugary to soak it up...take a hot shower, and try to greet my children with the best fake smile I can muster. After they are in bed, I plan to grieve some more. This... Is hell LS community, you are wonderful. The fact that strangers can spend their time to encourage and support me is beyond words. I appreciate all of you and hope I can be there for you someday...just not for this reason of course. Platonic hugs to you all. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted August 5, 2015 Share Posted August 5, 2015 I'm proud of you. Now do the second-most important thing: tell someone and tell them you sent the NC letter, and ask them to keep you on task about it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
66Charger Posted August 5, 2015 Share Posted August 5, 2015 (edited) Shining, I want you to really think about what "Second Life" means. Your future is not yet determined. There is no "destiny" What do you want the next 35, 40 years to be like? Surely you dont think you have no say in that? You will have dark days, but do not fear them. Do what you have to do and let time heal. Every day that you are blessed with waking up, is a opportunity to put more stars on the pages of the book that is Shining Brites Second Life. These are not just sweet words. Think about it. You are a free woman. You can chose your direction. You have done so the day you posted here. Things may suck now, but they will be less so tomorrow and the day after. Hang in there. Edited August 5, 2015 by 66Charger 3 Link to post Share on other sites
TX-SC Posted August 6, 2015 Share Posted August 6, 2015 Reading that you are taking on a new path by coming clean made my day. You are about to go through hell, but you will come out a better person with a clear mind and clear conscience. Invest in your marriage and be a great spouse and you will be rewarded with a wonderful union. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Hope Shimmers Posted August 6, 2015 Share Posted August 6, 2015 Shining, I want you to really think about what "Second Life" means. Your future is not yet determined. There is no "destiny" What do you want the next 35, 40 years to be like? Surely you dont think you have no say in that? You will have dark days, but do not fear them. Do what you have to do and let time heal. Every day that you are blessed with waking up, is a opportunity to put more stars on the pages of the book that is Shining Brites Second Life. These are not just sweet words. Think about it. You are a free woman. You can chose your direction. You have done so the day you posted here. Things may suck now, but they will be less so tomorrow and the day after. Hang in there. This is a good post. Something that I have learned to think about with relation to my life too. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Shinebrightforever Posted August 6, 2015 Author Share Posted August 6, 2015 Thanks for the encouragement everyone. I reread these posts to help get me through. ❤️ 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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