Husband Takes Pics and Video of Other Women

[sandylee1]

 

You must understand that by not taking action and trying to deal with it for years and years, you've condoned his behavior. You've told him that you're okay with it for years

 

You can be upset with us but that doesn't change your reality.

 

Very well put.

 

Actions speak louder than words. You can say you don't like it , but by doing nothing you're accepting it.

 

Apart from seek advice, which was really regarding the coworkers you've let it slide.

 

You're married to a man who indulges in this illegal activity and by your own words it doesn't bother you.

 

You said this *****

. This really bothered me at first. But through the years I have tried to convince myself how harmless this behavior is. He is not secretive about it at all. He then puts the pictures on the computer and saves them.*

What bothers me is the fact that he takes pictures of some of his female coworkers.****

 

It USED to bother you .

[Morro72]

One more vote for creepy, probably illegal, and likely to get him fired. Just a matter of when, not if.

 

Do you want to go down with the ship?

[Lois_Griffin]

Thoughts? And thoughts as to why he does this?

Yeah. He's a skeevy creep.

 

Actually, what he's doing is NOT illegal. Pictures taken in the PUBLIC DOMAIN (and that includes 'upskirt' pictures of women bending over drinking fountains etc. etc.) are considered legal - unless that ruling has changed recently.

 

But even so. The guy is a letch, a pervert, and a creep. One day, someone's husband or boyfriend is going to catch him doing that and he's going to get the Goodfellow's beating he so GREATLY deserves.

[Lois_Griffin]

I wouldn't want my wife photographed by someone like this.

This is exactly what I meant when I said one day, perv-boy is going to get his clock cleaned by an angry father/brother/boyfriend/husband.

[loveweary11]

Wow. This is not something I'd be very accepting of. You are very open minded.

 

He shouldn't be disrespecting women like that.

[BetrayedH]

I think your only solution here is to provide him with an ultimatum and be ready to follow-thru if he doesn't comply.

[Realist3]

Actually I do not like it. To say I do and to question my ethics and values, is quite frankly, taking it a little too far. The reason for my post here to begin with, and the reason why this has bothered me for so long, is because I DO NOT like it, and I do not agree with it. I am sure if one of you was with someone for this long and married you would not be so flippant with certain comments. I was asking for advice and support, not to be labeled as having a paraphilia. Thank you for the comments.

 

 

You need to seek legal counsel immediately, not only for his sake, but yours. Without getting too technical.

 

1. Taking pictures/videos of anyone who is in public is not illegal. BUT, many states have a 'sexual gratification' designation which does make it illegal.

 

2. Taking pictures of co-workers in the workplace without permission is illegal because the workplace is considered private property. Not only would he be terminated, but would also face criminal penalties.

 

3. You could face criminal charges as well as an accessory. Meaning that if you know someone is committing a felonious offense(which this is), and you do not report it, you will very likely be charged as an accessory to the crime.

 

4. As BH mentioned an ultimatum needs to be put in place. Copy the pictures and demand that it stop NOW, or you take them to either his employer or the police.

 

5. Get him into counseling. This is a mental disorder.

 

6. Or run like hell.

[ShatteredLady]

I'm sorry. I can tell that you're not getting the responses that you expected. Over time our view if what's acceptable or even 'normal' changes drastically when we're surrounded by it.

 

Please listen to number 5 above. This is sexual deviancy & a mental disorder. Given a 'trigger', extremely stressful event etc this kind of behavior can escalate. Really think about what he's doing. Child pornography has been mentioned here. Would it be ok if your husband was doing that? He's 'just' looking. Think about how he would justify that. "They don't know so it doesn't hurt them" is a very frightening justification.

 

Just because you can find a number of people doing something on the Internet doesn't make it normal or acceptable. The Internet is infamous for being crammed with weird perversions! Please listen to your justifications. I know this is the man you love & you are feeling defensive. The man you love is very sick. You should be trying to help him not being complicit.