A female friend seeking sympathy to my boyfriend (now ex-boyfriend)

[ThePatientOne]

Okay guys, I am not too sure if I am posting in the right section but anywhos! I want your opinions in this situation.

 

So, I have recently come out of a long distance relationship. We are both 21 y/o. This breakup happened a few days after he has told me that his bestfriend (female) was telling him about her life story. Apparently she has been feeling depressed because of issues with her family and whatsoever. Things such us her parents getting a divorce, her grandma getting amnesia blah blah. My boyfriend (ex) told me all about this before the breakup happened and he says that he feels really stressed about her situation and can't bare to see her like this, so of course he wants to help. From what I know, my ex-boyfriend is very naive, falls easily and cares too much for his friends. They both know each other in real life and I have seen a photo of them with some other friends too. I know as a friend I would vent out things, but not to someone who has an SO. But that is only my opinion.

 

It has been 2 weeks since the breakup and the thought of it is kicking into me because the reason he gave me for the breakup is because he "just can't do this anymore and there's too many things inside my head". Before, I kept denying the fact that he has met someone but after thinking about that situation, I could actually believe it. My question is, does seeking sympathy from someone that already has an SO right? I mean for me it is not because your SO would be all sad and sympathetic about your situation then do as much as they can to help. Especially if they are the opposite gender, some attachment could occur in between.

 

Would love to hear your answers!

[Lurkeraspect]

Okay guys, I am not too sure if I am posting in the right section but anywhos! I want your opinions in this situation.

 

So, I have recently come out of a long distance relationship. We are both 21 y/o. This breakup happened a few days after he has told me that his bestfriend (female) was telling him about her life story. Apparently she has been feeling depressed because of issues with her family and whatsoever. Things such us her parents getting a divorce, her grandma getting amnesia blah blah. My boyfriend (ex) told me all about this before the breakup happened and he says that he feels really stressed about her situation and can't bare to see her like this, so of course he wants to help. From what I know, my ex-boyfriend is very naive, falls easily and cares too much for his friends. They both know each other in real life and I have seen a photo of them with some other friends too. I know as a friend I would vent out things, but not to someone who has an SO. But that is only my opinion.

 

It has been 2 weeks since the breakup and the thought of it is kicking into me because the reason he gave me for the breakup is because he "just can't do this anymore and there's too many things inside my head". Before, I kept denying the fact that he has met someone but after thinking about that situation, I could actually believe it. My question is, does seeking sympathy from someone that already has an SO right? I mean for me it is not because your SO would be all sad and sympathetic about your situation then do as much as they can to help. Especially if they are the opposite gender, some attachment could occur in between.

 

Would love to hear your answers!

 

You called this girl his "best friend" and as best friends it's very common to share things about life with each other. I think the jest of your post is you're suspecting that he broke up with you to be with his best friend? Did I get that right? If that's your question, it could certainly be the case. Unfortunately, since no one here knows him, it would all be supposition. Why don't you just ask him.

 

Edited to add: after reading your first thread, I think he gave you the reason for the breakup, that being your neediness and clingy behavior. That's probably it.

Edited July 29, 2015 by Lurkeraspect

[d0nnivain]

Pre-existing friends are part of the package. Your BF's relationship with this female friend existed long before you entered the picture. When she was hurting she turned to a friend for support. The fact that he has a GF does not make her friend off limits to her. He's not obligated to drop her for you.

 

 

I'm a happily married woman. Lots of people come to me & share their troubles. Should I decline to help a friend in need simply because I got married?

 

 

That said, he may have discovered feelings for her that were long repressed. Since he broke up with you, absent evidence to the contrary, I'm inclined to give him the benefit of the doubt that he broke up with you because he was conflicted and before he cheated.

 

 

Regardless of why you need to simply accept the fact that it's over. Sorry.