Author Scorpiolover Posted July 31, 2015 Author Share Posted July 31, 2015 Perhaps I should retract what I wrote. Thats not good. Unless, he is already taking real medicine. Regardless, use the VAR, but talk to him also. At this point, the advice has been given and the truth will come. Anyway a honest prayer that you are wrong Scorpio I am praying i am. Thank you! Link to post Share on other sites
66Charger Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 (edited) Straight up ask him Scorpio. About everything. Today. Enough is enough. He is your husband. Put divorce on the table. Start by telling him anything can be forgiven but a lie. Do not take no for a answer. There is validity in going into stealth mode, but you can always do that later or at the same time. Talk to him as a loving wife, but not a stupid one. Do not fear. Edited July 31, 2015 by 66Charger 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Scorpiolover Posted July 31, 2015 Author Share Posted July 31, 2015 Im going to have to, but im afraid its going to end up like i originally brought it up. He flipped out, gaslighted i guess its called. I need to do something i feel like im losing my mind. Thank you 66Charger! Link to post Share on other sites
oldshirt Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 Well i was able to obtain his phone and he seems to be on craigslist alot. Craigslist allows you to clear your search history, so i didnt see anything. But... i did go into the personals and look at posts. I seen a bunch of numbers so i looked up our cell history, he seems to be calling/texting or recieving calls/texts from some similar numbers. I checked his phone log and none of the numbers were on his phone from the cell history. I also noticed that as of this month hes only talking or texting me, my kids, and his boss. So that to me is fishy. Where did the pages of numbers go from the previous months... the mystery keeps getting better. This is a red flag. Unless you can somehow find that he is buying and selling garden tools and car parts on Craigslist, having phone numbers from the personal section indicates this is more than porn viewing. He may not have had or is actually having an affair yet but he may be fishing for some outside action. Men out number women probably 100 to 1 on Craigslist so unless he is remarkably handsome and rich, he is probably not actually dating or romantically involved with anyone. Craigslist does however have a ton of escorts, nude models, massage parlors, prostitutes etc etc so he may be going down that path. Your investigator so far has uncover some highly suspicious things that definately do warrant probing deeper. Definately proceed with the VARs and other means of finding out what he is doing when you aren't watching. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
oldshirt Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 Im going to have to, but im afraid its going to end up like i originally brought it up. He flipped out, gaslighted i guess its called. I need to do something i feel like im losing my mind. Thank you 66Charger! You need more to go on before you confront him. Otherwise he will just lie and flashlight, trickle truth and DARVO and then cover his tracks better and you may never know the truth. You may be starting to smell some gunsmoke in the vicinity but you haven't found a smoking gun yet. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
66Charger Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 Let him flip out but hold your ground. Be steady and firm. Look him straight in the eye and tell him it all stops today. No more, i am just tired crap. Try going for a walk with him. Get away from the house. Somethings wrong. If it doesn't work, then you have done your best. I will wish you well Ps. ignore the bj idiot 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Scorpiolover Posted July 31, 2015 Author Share Posted July 31, 2015 Thank you very much. I am going to ask him to go out on a picnic tomorrow, something we both enjoy. See if i can get him to talk to me. I will tell him my concerns, tell him of the very little evidence i have and hope for the best. If it doenst go well of he starts gaslighting.. i guess i will know. Yeah i wish the problem was as simple as not getting enough BJ's. Link to post Share on other sites
badkarma2013 Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 I can tell you no man in planet earth takes those pills without having sex. No guy ever wants to walk around with an erection for 4 hours on purpose. ****************************************************************** Listen and READ the above quote....NO MAN would take those without having sex... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Scorpiolover Posted July 31, 2015 Author Share Posted July 31, 2015 This is a red flag. Unless you can somehow find that he is buying and selling garden tools and car parts on Craigslist, having phone numbers from the personal section indicates this is more than porn viewing. He may not have had or is actually having an affair yet but he may be fishing for some outside action. Men out number women probably 100 to 1 on Craigslist so unless he is remarkably handsome and rich, he is probably not actually dating or romantically involved with anyone. Craigslist does however have a ton of escorts, nude models, massage parlors, prostitutes etc etc so he may be going down that path. Your investigator so far has uncover some highly suspicious things that definately do warrant probing deeper. Definately proceed with the VARs and other means of finding out what he is doing when you aren't watching. Yes, and my son who works in the same vicinity was talking about the hookers who live in the same parking lot as where my husband works. Had no clue. I asked my husband why he hadnt mentioned that, he said they have lived there for years, and its not a big deal. I asked my son how he knew, he said a few guys at his work go a few times a week. I asked how they(hookers) advertise, he said reddit. Easy access in my opinion. Im hoping because hes mentioning things about having skin tags removed and his back waxxed(its not that bad, i rather like the hair), that hes not gone physical.. hopefully its just a phone issue, but im good at deluding myself. Link to post Share on other sites
BetrayedH Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 I think you stop asking or confronting him altogether. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
autumnnight Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 "I even offered a blowjob" sounds like you're part to blame here too. If giving him oral is that rare and deemed a task for you then I'm sure he's feeling unfulfilled as well. A pity bj isn't what a guy wants. Rubbish. He doesn't gt enough bj's so it's okay to look elsewhere. Rubbish 2 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 YOU don't have near enough evidence to ask him anything yet. Stay quiet and don't alert him If you alert him he is just going to deny and then be more careful and take anything he is doing underground. YOU wait till your evidence is irrefutable and YOU know what he is getting up to. If he is like most cheaters he will deny, deny, deny. If you were hoping to trick him into a confession, then don't even try, not worth it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
66Charger Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 (edited) you are getting a lot of different advice however This is YOUR life. Do not "ask" him to go on a picnic, tell him. You have nothing to lose here. Sure he may go underground, but you need to put him in a position to step up to the plate. One last time. If he wont, you have done your best and posters here will help you get him. Your choice. Your life Edited July 31, 2015 by 66Charger 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Scorpiolover Posted July 31, 2015 Author Share Posted July 31, 2015 Im going to tell him i want to have lunch with him. He already knows i suspect something because a comment i made to my son about how craigslist and similar sites are destroying marriages, and that it makes the spouse feel like a little piece of nothing and to beware. Maybe i shouldnt have but finding out about the hookers in his parking lot lit my fuse. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 but you need to put him in a position to step up to the plate. I may be being thick here, but "step up to the plate" to do what? Link to post Share on other sites
Lois_Griffin Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 That's completely different from Rx-only medication for erectile dysfunction. Over the counter herbal supplements are much much cheaper, do not cause unwanted erections, and can have beneficial effects other than just sexual performance improvements. In other words, the fact that your husband is taking these pills without having sex with you does not point as strongly in the infidelity direction as it would if he was taking Viagra. LMAO. Yeah, and I've got some oceanfront property in Arizona I'd like to sell you. Link to post Share on other sites
Lois_Griffin Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 Well i was able to obtain his phone and he seems to be on craigslist alot. Craigslist allows you to clear your search history, so i didnt see anything. But... i did go into the personals and look at posts. I seen a bunch of numbers so i looked up our cell history, he seems to be calling/texting or recieving calls/texts from some similar numbers. I checked his phone log and none of the numbers were on his phone from the cell history. I also noticed that as of this month hes only talking or texting me, my kids, and his boss. So that to me is fishy. Where did the pages of numbers go from the previous months... the mystery keeps getting better. Not surprised at ALL. I rolled my eyes right out of my head reading all these silly responses to you about how he's just trying to 'regulate his testosterone' and how he's trying to improve his sex life with you. Good God. I guess everyone missed your opening post about what a complete ASSCLOWN this selfish jerk is, and how he doesn't give a CRAP about your pleasure and makes NO effort at all sexually on your behalf. But yeah, he's taking pills to make that all better. Look. It ain't rocket science. He may be a complete dumbass thinking gas station pills are going to make him a stud, but he obviously sucks in bed whether he has an erection or not. The pills don't change selfishness and laziness, unfortunately. You can ask the liar anything you want. He's still going to lie right through his teeth to you. But if I were you, I wouldn't touch this jerk with a 20 foot pole. God only knows WHO he's screwing around with from Craigslist, and whether it's women or men or both. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
oldshirt Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 The purpose of investigating his activities is so that YOU know what's going on and are aware of the state of your marriage. It is not to convince him; he already knows what he's doing. If you confront without knowing what's going on, it gives him the opportunity to lie, go deeper underground and hide his activities better. Never ask a question you don't already know the answer to. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
beach Posted August 1, 2015 Share Posted August 1, 2015 Im going to tell him i want to have lunch with him. He already knows i suspect something because a comment i made to my son about how craigslist and similar sites are destroying marriages, and that it makes the spouse feel like a little piece of nothing and to beware. Maybe i shouldnt have but finding out about the hookers in his parking lot lit my fuse. Craigslist and other sites aren't ruining marriages - cheaters ruin marriages. If your husband is using sites to meet women for sex - the blame is on your husband, not any site! Based on all the info in your threads - it looks like he's cheating. Don't allow him to blame you! And don't have sex with him until you know he's cleared from diseases. Stop rewarding his bad behavior by giving him bj's. You need to be tested too - he could have given you a disease since it looks like he's been looking for willing partners to cheat with. Get a plan together in case he is cheating. What do you plan to do? Can you support yourself? Do you have plenty of money in your name only? If he gets angry again don't hesitate to call the police if needed. Don't allow him to bully you. Link to post Share on other sites
66Charger Posted August 5, 2015 Share Posted August 5, 2015 Hey scorpio. How is it going Link to post Share on other sites
OldRover Posted August 5, 2015 Share Posted August 5, 2015 I can tell you no man in planet earth takes those pills without having sex. No guy ever wants to walk around with an erection for 4 hours on purpose. you dont understand how pills work. they dont give an erection unless stimulated......so youmjust dont walk around with a haed on if you take one, Link to post Share on other sites
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