Buff8stuff Posted July 29, 2015 Share Posted July 29, 2015 I've been lurking for a while just looking for answers in all the past posts. I confirmed my wife's affair July 2. I'm having a little difficulty figuring out all the acronyms. Is there a list somewhere? Some are fairly easy to figure out such as "A" for affair, "OW" for other woman and "BS" for betrayed spouse, but there are some I just don't get. Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
darkbloom Posted July 29, 2015 Share Posted July 29, 2015 There's a thread under FAQ. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/faq.php?faq=messages#faq_acronyms If you post specific ones though we can help. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 29, 2015 Share Posted July 29, 2015 I have found that if you simply type them into Google or another search engine urban dictionary often defines them for me relatively quickly. Link to post Share on other sites
drifter777 Posted July 29, 2015 Share Posted July 29, 2015 Many times I just type the whole word or phrase - it helps me communicate the feelings behind the words. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted July 29, 2015 Share Posted July 29, 2015 I've been lurking for a while just looking for answers in all the past posts. I confirmed my wife's affair July 2. Sounds like you've got bigger issues than acronyms. What are you doing to sort out your marriage and/or divorce ??? Mr. Lucky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Buff8stuff Posted July 29, 2015 Author Share Posted July 29, 2015 Sounds like you've got bigger issues than acronyms. What are you doing to sort out your marriage and/or divorce ??? Mr. Lucky Right now I'm getting as informed as I can. Do not plan on divorce. Affair is over at least for now. We've been together for 26 years. Neither of us wants to split. I have made it absolutely clear that I will not share. My wife understands the consequences of seeing or contacting him again. He doesn't want me to tell his wife and is very afraid of me. So if there is any contact I would be very surprised. They know I'm watching like a hawk. I love my wife and have no problem forgiving her. Trust is going to be an issue for some time though. I have contacted a counselor/therapist that specializes in infidelity. That's about all I'm willing to share right now. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Buff8stuff Posted July 29, 2015 Author Share Posted July 29, 2015 There's a thread under FAQ. LoveShack.org Community Forums - FAQ: Reading, posting, editing, and deleting messages If you post specific ones though we can help. Thanks for the link. That pretty well covers the ones I have seen. Link to post Share on other sites
purplesorrow Posted July 29, 2015 Share Posted July 29, 2015 Right now I'm getting as informed as I can. Do not plan on divorce. Affair is over at least for now. We've been together for 26 years. Neither of us wants to split. I have made it absolutely clear that I will not share. My wife understands the consequences of seeing or contacting him again. He doesn't want me to tell his wife and is very afraid of me. So if there is any contact I would be very surprised. They know I'm watching like a hawk. I love my wife and have no problem forgiving her. Trust is going to be an issue for some time though. I have contacted a counselor/therapist that specializes in infidelity. That's about all I'm willing to share right now. Good luck. I hope you get the outcome you want. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
drifter777 Posted July 29, 2015 Share Posted July 29, 2015 Right now I'm getting as informed as I can. Do not plan on divorce. Affair is over at least for now. We've been together for 26 years. Neither of us wants to split. I have made it absolutely clear that I will not share. My wife understands the consequences of seeing or contacting him again. He doesn't want me to tell his wife and is very afraid of me. So if there is any contact I would be very surprised. They know I'm watching like a hawk. I love my wife and have no problem forgiving her. Trust is going to be an issue for some time though. I have contacted a counselor/therapist that specializes in infidelity. That's about all I'm willing to share right now. Do not rugsweep this thing or you will face a living hell in a few years. From your brief overview I would like to point out a couple things. First, you don't know if your wife is in contact with him or not. If OM is married then you need to expose this to his wife so she can help keep tabs on them. Next, you don't know the truth about the extent of the affair. The number of times they had sex, whether they did it in your bed, when it started - all of those things that are often very important to a betrayed husband. In other words, expect trickle-truth to leak out for a good while. Finally, she will lie about anything that she believes you cannot verify. The most common things are "he had a small penis" and "he was lousy in bed" and how much better you are sexually. Just know she will lie about things like this and that you will never get the truth out of her about many details of this nature. Good luck. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
RightThere Posted July 29, 2015 Share Posted July 29, 2015 He doesn't want me to tell his wife and is very afraid of me. So if there is any contact I would be very surprised. You need to let his wife know. Pretend the roles were reversed and she knew about the affair. Wouldn't you want her to tell you? And don't count on them not contacting each other. The affair has just gone deeper underground. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MarkusM Posted July 29, 2015 Share Posted July 29, 2015 Right now I'm getting as informed as I can. Do not plan on divorce. Affair is over at least for now. We've been together for 26 years. Neither of us wants to split. I have made it absolutely clear that I will not share. My wife understands the consequences of seeing or contacting him again. He doesn't want me to tell his wife and is very afraid of me. So if there is any contact I would be very surprised. They know I'm watching like a hawk. I love my wife and have no problem forgiving her. Trust is going to be an issue for some time though. I have contacted a counselor/therapist that specializes in infidelity. That's about all I'm willing to share right now. This is like reading a script of what I went through! I applaud you for doing what you can to work it out... twenty-six years is worth it! Your attitude makes your situation very fixable, provided your wife shares your feelings about the relationship. One thing I did differently... I messaged the husband's wife immediately and told her everything in absolute detail- He didn't deserve any consideration - after all, his wife was the other victim in the affair. Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted July 29, 2015 Share Posted July 29, 2015 Yes the OMW must be told about the affair. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Buff8stuff Posted July 30, 2015 Author Share Posted July 30, 2015 I had a fairly long reply written out, but for some reason when I hit submit I was logged out and lost the whole thing. I am at work, busy and have lost the desire to address this for now. I appreciate the efforts to help and inform me, but please don't make assumptions, and realize I am very intelligent and have things fairly well covered. After 26 years I know her well enough to be able to tell when somethings up and with what I know now, every gut feeling I get will be reason for confrontation, with no acceptance of unprovable excuses. Link to post Share on other sites
VeryBrokenMan Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 I've got one to add to the list: POSOM. That perfectly describes the Piece Of S&*t OM. Stick around, you will find a lot of support here. It's funny that you think you know someone for 26 years and they are not who you thought they were. What you will find I think (or at least I did) is she has always been the person that cheated, you just never saw all the terrible things in her until dday or simply dismissed them. Good luck, keep us updated. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 Right now I'm getting as informed as I can. Do not plan on divorce. Affair is over at least for now. We've been together for 26 years. Neither of us wants to split. I have made it absolutely clear that I will not share. My wife understands the consequences of seeing or contacting him again. He doesn't want me to tell his wife and is very afraid of me. So if there is any contact I would be very surprised. They know I'm watching like a hawk. I love my wife and have no problem forgiving her. Trust is going to be an issue for some time though. I have contacted a counselor/therapist that specializes in infidelity. That's about all I'm willing to share right now. I hope this path leads you to what you want. Your choices to this point are understandable... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
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