Ex teachers, coffee, anger, confusion

[lizliz]

I'm wondering if someone can shed some light on this situation.

 

I think my former teacher might have some harboured feelings for me. I'm 21, he's 27. He's suggested taking me out for coffee a few times, to which I agreed. He seemed very enthusiastic, telling me he "wasn't the type of guy to suggest going out for coffee with no intention of actually going out for it.".....that "he had so much to talk to me about". But he never seems to follow through with it after three offers of suggesting it.

 

I was at a community event with him the other day - and his girlfriend was with him. A week prior to this, he said he would buy me a coffee, since he owes me one. At the event him and I were alone together at one point, and he asked me if I had gotten a coffee yet. I said I hadn't, and asked him the same, to which he also said no. A long awkward silence followed for the next 2 minutes while he fumbled through his pocket for money. It was obvious he wanted to offer to buy me one. We eventually drifted away from each other due to awkwardness and lack of communication. He ended up buying himself a coffee not long afterwards.

 

What I don't understand is - if he DIDN'T feel anything for me, why would something so simple as buying me a cup of coffee be such a big deal? Furthermore, why does he flirt with me when we're in private, but around his girlfriend he acts like he doesn't know me? If he has a girlfriend, why is he even concerned about how "asking me for coffee" might appear to her?

 

I don't want to date him. I'm not the one making a mountain out of a mole hill. I just don't like it when people promise to do things, but NEVER follow through with it. I want to know what people's opinions are so I can talk to him head-on about this situation, since I think it's ridiculous. I don't like being part of some "confusion" game.

[LucreziaBorgia]

1. What I don't understand is - if he DIDN'T feel anything for me, why would something so simple as buying me a cup of coffee be such a big deal?

2. Furthermore, why does he flirt with me when we're in private, but around his girlfriend he acts like he doesn't know me?

3. If he has a girlfriend, why is he even concerned about how "asking me for coffee" might appear to her?

 

Just guessing but... it isn't about the coffee.

 

1. Because he knows how he feels, but he can't gauge how you feel or how much of a liability you may be. He hasn't taken you out for coffee because he isn't sure how agreeable you'd be to keep it on a casual level (casual meaning: you'll sleep with him and not interfere with his life in any other way, shape or form.)

 

2. Because he wants you, but he has no intention of letting that interfere with his current relationship.

 

3. Because he knows that his intentions aren't just about the 'coffee' and his girlfriend is likely to suspect that as well.