darkmoon Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 how much do you tell people who do not know you, or you them? is sharing your life's story with acquaintances a good way to make freinds? Link to post Share on other sites
casey.lives Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 No. Friends use your weakness to your detriment. Even hackers try and dig up black mail on their friends. The concept of friends is dead Link to post Share on other sites
applej4 Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 In my opinion it’s not wise to reveal too many personal details to an acquaintance. They might just be nosey, or maybe they feel You’re a good target for a scam.As I get to know/spend time with someone and actually become friends we slowly share details. But when an acquaintances asks personal questions such as my marital status, if I have kids, where I live, etc. or questions about my finances it makes me uncomfortable. I either answer in a vague way, not at all, or ask “why?” If they get insulted or defensive, so be it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SpiralOut Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 I don't share much. I've dealt with people using whatever information they can get on me against me. As a result I'm very careful about who I trust. I prefer to find a common interest and talk about it, like if we both garden or enjoy cooking. As time goes on, if I start to feel I can trust them, I'll start sharing some personal stuff, nothing serious just small stuff. If someone doesn't respect my boundaries and keeps pushing for personal details, I see that as a red flag and I'll back away. Link to post Share on other sites
sportygirl89 Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 New realization. America is not really freedom of speech. Be selective in what you tell people. They may take it the wrong way. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 Took a class on this, we tell our story every day, thru actions and words. Tune in , people are fascinating. we all deserve some privacy though, so only tell what you would want to be placed in print. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Clarence_Boddicker Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 Sharing stuff with real friends is fine in my opinion. I'm questioning the wisdom of telling to much to people you're in a relationship with. I kinda hate the thought that the girl I was supposedly best friends & lovers with has my whole life story. Of course we broke up & she's probably resentful of me that I moved away from her, even though she was cheating. Maybe a delayed information release policy is the best option. List & grade everything about you & assign them a disclosure value in years. Link to post Share on other sites
jay1983 Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 No, don't share anything other than your hobbies with new people. Only open up to people you feel comfortable with. Link to post Share on other sites
Author darkmoon Posted July 31, 2015 Author Share Posted July 31, 2015 (edited) so how do you get rid of the people that accuse you of hiding something? i am expecting a lot of persistence from them on regular saturdays and sundays (playfulness is not an option) Edited July 31, 2015 by darkmoon Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 Not sure what you mean by accusing? Can you give a more concrete example? Sometimes interpretations can be varied. Tone, behavior, topic.... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
applej4 Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 No, don't share anything other than your hobbies with new people. Only open up to people you feel comfortable with. You don't even have to tell them your hobbies. You're not obligated to share any personal information with acquaintances at all. Link to post Share on other sites
Author darkmoon Posted July 31, 2015 Author Share Posted July 31, 2015 (edited) Not sure what you mean by accusing? Can you give a more concrete example? Sometimes interpretations can be varied. Tone, behavior, topic.... tone = pleasant, but can be nasty behaviour = short tempered, but might be pleasant topic = private, varied i just want a snappy answer at the ready, over accusations of me hiding things Edited July 31, 2015 by darkmoon Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 Before you share your most personal stuff with a person, be around them long enough to see how they talk about their other friends. Find out if they're judgmental on subjects you may clash on. See if they seem to be betraying confidences of others. It's normal enough for young people to gossip, but it's the tenor of the gossiping that matters. Get to know if they're passing secrets around for their own gain or misstating things. Just take your time. Enjoy yourself with them by staying active instead of just sitting around talking and see what they're like. Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 I think there is a difference between sharing who you are as a person versus vomiting all sorts of personal details that could come back to haunt you. I don't see the harm in letting new people know what kind of person I am, what I value, what I'll tolerate and particularly what things I won't. It kind of sets the bar and often that's enough to ward off questionable people with shady agendas. Sharing personal details should only be done with close family and friends or anonymously on forums like LS 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author darkmoon Posted July 31, 2015 Author Share Posted July 31, 2015 i have already decided that they are not a nice person, seen it, and not a soul-mate either, not somebody i have much in common with it is the deflection of them that i find awkward arrgh... i can see this being a long story... Link to post Share on other sites
applej4 Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 Darkmoon, when someone asks what I feel is an inappropriate question or I feel they are probing, I sometimes raise an eyebrow or frown and say “That’s a strange question” then look them in the eye. That lays it back into their lap. Even a dead, silent stare can shut them down. You’re not obligated to answer their question. Don’t JADE – Justify, Argue/Apologize, Defend, or Explain. Link to post Share on other sites
Author darkmoon Posted August 1, 2015 Author Share Posted August 1, 2015 nobody has a good word to say for open dialogue i am amazed and grateful Link to post Share on other sites
Hopeful714 Posted August 1, 2015 Share Posted August 1, 2015 Good advice here...I should take it. Recently I met someone and offered up a few too many details of my life. This person then probed with questions, formed opinions, and then said with satisfaction "A-Ha! I've figured you out". I thought what an idiot. You know me from a few short conversations where you were nosing in my life, and now you think you know all about me and what I'm about? I found it extremely rude. As I got to know this person a bit better, I learned I didn't like them much. Actually, I really don't want anything to do with this person anymore. But I still need to see them on occasion. So yea....watch what you say when meeting new people. "That's a strange thing to say" love this apple! And I will use it soon, thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts