Reallyconfusedheart Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 Hello guys, Just want to know what is the best way to combine financial accounts prior to marriage. How did you do it? My fiancée is asking to give him all my bank account. Your thoughts??? Who controls the money in your marriage? We seem not to be on the same page about this. Thanks in advance. Link to post Share on other sites
RoseVille Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 Three accounts: One for joint/combined expenses (rent/mortgage, utilities, common vacations, etc.), then for one of each of you. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Methodical Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 Do whaaaaa?? No! Just no. He can keep his acct, you keep your acct and discuss who pays for what. Many ppl maintain separate accts. even after marriage. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
RebelDiamond Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 What ^ said. Equal amount to the joint account each month to pay for mortgage, bills etc. and we do what we want with the rest of our money. Not married but this is what we'd do anyway. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted August 1, 2015 Share Posted August 1, 2015 You tell him no. No combining finances prior to marriage. You have to be nuts do that. Even after marriage, you should only have a small shared account and keep most of your money in your own name. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted August 1, 2015 Share Posted August 1, 2015 Based on your other threads with him swearing and calling you names, he sounds very controlling and manipulative. I would not be so quick to consent to marriage if he wants control of your money as well. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted August 1, 2015 Share Posted August 1, 2015 (edited) Hello guys, Just want to know what is the best way to combine financial accounts prior to marriage. How did you do it? My fiancée is asking to give him all my bank account. Your thoughts??? Who controls the money in your marriage? We seem not to be on the same page about this. Thanks in advance. Not married, but for me, I do not at all understand the idea of combining all monies and only having joint accounts with a spouse. To each her own, but for me, I would not feel comfortable only having joint accounts. It has nothing to do with trust or love, but simply what makes me feel like an independent adult with a partner. One can be in love, be partners, and be married without necessarily combining all monies and I think you have to do what makes you comfortable. For me combining all monies would be more of strain on our relationship than if we did not. As an adult woman, married or not, I want to still have money that is mine that I can spend as I wish ( of course discussing any major purchases with my husband first) without having to be mindful of every purchase from an undifferentiated pool. I would personally keep my own separate accounts, this wouldn't be a secret, my spouse could see it at any point, would know about it, it's not like I'd hide statements, I'm sure they'd know my pin for my card and stuff like that as a matter of sharing a life. Then I'd have a joint savings and emergency fund together that we decide on a percentage that we'll put in for our earnings, then another account which is also joint for paying our bills and running our house which we'd also decide on. This seems like the most logical and reasonable thing. Edited August 1, 2015 by MissBee Link to post Share on other sites
loveboid Posted August 1, 2015 Share Posted August 1, 2015 Eww, yelling and swearing at you and wanting your bank info, all before marriage???? It would get worse if you married him. In my relationship there is no yelling and swearing at each other. We have separate accounts. We have talked about marriage and having a joint account then. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 2, 2015 Share Posted August 2, 2015 You don't, especially not in your case. On June 25 of this year you posted asking about Craigslist as a dating website. Now on July 30 . . .barely a month later you are here asking about combining finances with a FI. My advice, keep the money apart & have a VERY long engagement and wait at least a year before you even go shopping for venues etc. Link to post Share on other sites
Lois_Griffin Posted August 2, 2015 Share Posted August 2, 2015 A word to the wise. If you're contributing 50/50 financially, make sure HE is doing 50% of the household chores. A lot of them cry that it's not fair unless you contribute half, yet feel it's perfectly ok to sit on their dead asses on the couch while you do all the domestic chores every evening and weekend. Set a precedent now or you'll regret it. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
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