AugustSnow Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 How would you feel if your significant other was talking to their good friend of the opposite sex more than they talk to you? Would you think anything of it? Oh and to top it off, let's say the friend of the opposite sex is in a serious relationship or married. Would you think anything of it? Would that be a deal breaker for you? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 It is something I would keep an eye on. Did they always talk this much? If so & nothing has changed it's probably fine. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 How would you feel if your significant other was talking to their good friend of the opposite sex more than they talk to you? Would you think anything of it? Oh and to top it off, let's say the friend of the opposite sex is in a serious relationship or married. Would you think anything of it? Would that be a deal breaker for you? Yes I would have a problem with it. Part of being in an exclusive romantic relationship is confiding in your SO and developing a friendship and emotional intimacy. It's not that you can only talk to them now, but I do think in good relationships your SO becomes a major confidante for you and particularity if you used to have another confidante of the opposite sex, this lessens. I think one tows a very thin line when you consistently confide in and build emotional intimacy with someone of the opposite sex while in a relationship. I cannot fathom being in a relationship where I have a guy friend that I confide in and speak to more than I do my SO.That's the strangest aspect, the fact that you're saying your SO speaks to his friend MORE than he does you, that's weird. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
deadelvis Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 It sucks. Trust me. It leads to problems. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Projectme Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 (edited) All relationships require trust and understanding. If you don't know what they are talking about how can you get jealous. They could be talking about you and how much he cares for you. Or they could be each other about a problem that she has and as friend he feels obligated to help her. I think you need to discuss with him rationally and offer support to both of them so you can get an understanding of why they talk so much. Edited July 30, 2015 by Projectme 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author AugustSnow Posted July 30, 2015 Author Share Posted July 30, 2015 Yes I would have a problem with it. Part of being in an exclusive romantic relationship is confiding in your SO and developing a friendship and emotional intimacy. It's not that you can only talk to them now, but I do think in good relationships your SO becomes a major confidante for you and particularity if you used to have another confidante of the opposite sex, this lessens. I think one tows a very thin line when you consistently confide in and build emotional intimacy with someone of the opposite sex while in a relationship. I cannot fathom being in a relationship where I have a guy friend that I confide in and speak to more than I do my SO.That's the strangest aspect, the fact that you're saying your SO speaks to his friend MORE than he does you, that's weird. I was in a situation like this and now I know someone else who is in this same situation. It seems that when you tell your SO how you feel about it, they tell you you're being insecure. I wonder is there a thin line with that... if so at what point is it being insecure? I agree that your SO should be your main confidante. It seems like a lot of people don't respect that these days for some reason and because of that the friend of the opposite sex sometimes get way too comfortable and think they can tell you how to run your relationship just because they knew they're friend (your SO) for years and that feels extremely invasive and makes you just want to walk away, but then you sometimes ask yourself "Was I being unreasonable?" Link to post Share on other sites
Unlucky_I_Guess Posted August 7, 2015 Share Posted August 7, 2015 My ex had a "best friend" (male) suddenly appear a couple of months before we broke up. She swore up and down nothing was going on, yet she spent all of her time with him and they texted back and forth constantly. Needless to say we broke up and she moved in with him immediately. So yeah, I'd have a big problem with it. Huge. Link to post Share on other sites
BlueIris Posted August 7, 2015 Share Posted August 7, 2015 Yes I would have a problem with it. Part of being in an exclusive romantic relationship is confiding in your SO and developing a friendship and emotional intimacy. It's not that you can only talk to them now, but I do think in good relationships your SO becomes a major confidante for you and particularity if you used to have another confidante of the opposite sex, this lessens. I think one tows a very thin line when you consistently confide in and build emotional intimacy with someone of the opposite sex while in a relationship. I cannot fathom being in a relationship where I have a guy friend that I confide in and speak to more than I do my SO.That's the strangest aspect, the fact that you're saying your SO speaks to his friend MORE than he does you, that's weird. I agree. My BF doesn't talk much, so it's inevitable that I talk more with family and friends. If I ask about him he says he's fine. It doesn't bother my BF if my conversations and confidences are with other people. It sounds like OP does want to be his SO's conversational bestie and confidant, so I'd recommend opening up to her more, making her his confidant, and maybe she'll start seeing him that way more. Link to post Share on other sites
deadelvis Posted August 7, 2015 Share Posted August 7, 2015 ...It's not that you can only talk to them now, but I do think in good relationships your SO becomes a major confidante for you and particularity if you used to have another confidante of the opposite sex, this lessens. I think one tows a very thin line when you consistently confide in and build emotional intimacy with someone of the opposite sex while in a relationship... ^^^^this^^^^ Link to post Share on other sites
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