Keenly Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 May I ask if you like 'Extreme Porn' (for want of the proper phrase) & if it effects your 'real life' fantasies? I'll be honest, rape porn turns me on. Does this translate to real life? Absolutely not. I know the difference between real life and fantasy, and while I have no interest whatsoever in having sex with some one that doesn't want to have sex with me, it still turns me on. Never in my life would this ever be anything more than s fantasy. Unless she wanted to do some role-playing with it. Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 I'm no expert on this subject. I've never researched it. That's interesting. I still wouldn't be comfortable with a man who likes child porn around my kids. I don't really get why someone would watch rape & violent porn. It's obviously a subject I need to educate myself on (in my long list of interesting subjects). I wouldn't like it myself & I've never had a partner who finds violence & porn combined a turn-on. I don't really get the Superman comparison. Child porn is different entirely, as that's illegal and blah blah blah. Porn is fantasy. It's just that. It's not real. Problems only arise when some one becomes unable to separate fantasy from reality. That's not A porn issue, it's a psychological and sociopathic issue. Link to post Share on other sites
nucking_futs Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 I like porn... Link to post Share on other sites
autumnnight Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 There is no correlation between the type of porn you watch and your actual sexual behavior. That's like saying that because I like superman, I'm going to attempt to jump out of a window. Actually, research does not bear this out. Sure, a random "rape fantasy" video is not going to make a man rape. But a steady diet of increasingly violent sexual videos IS connected to desensitization and possible behavior changes and escalations. That isn't saying all porn bad - don;t get scared. It is just stating researched fact. Link to post Share on other sites
autumnnight Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 Is the OP actually trying to tell him he can never watch it and that he has to move his couch to the doghouse....or are we all getting just a tad defensive here....... As a rap survivor, I'm not going to date any man who likes watching depictions of a woman being terrified, crying out for help, resisting, etc. Now, rape fantasy, which is just a little rougher version of being "taken" is fine. But actual realistic depictions of nonconsensual violence? No. No. No. And I don't care if she is 18...if a model has to look 9 to turn on a guy, he's out too. Link to post Share on other sites
Friskyone4u Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 Porn is just like anything else. Too much of it is bad for you, and too much is a different amount for everyone. If you husband is meeting all of your sexual needs, is not turning you down, does not have ED, and you are basically a happy camper in the bedroom, then why care. Porn is used for masturbation, which most married people still do in differing amounts. Anyone adamantly opposed to their husband ever looking at porn should make sure they are not attending sex toy parties or have a drawer full of vibrators. I'm not buying that all ladies think of nothing but their husbands when they have their favorite "rabbit" in hand. The important thing is his interaction with you and your satisfaction with the results. The rest is meaningless 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ShatteredLady Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 (edited) As the person who started this off with my "No problem as long as its not...." statement I feel I need to say a bit more. I know this sounds silly but my experience of porn isn't that much. I've seen grandfathers, brothers common magazines as kids with my cousins. It was a silly funny titillating thing. Other than that I've only seen TV, PPV type stuff & that's a silly turn-on. I confess my knowledge of 'extreme porn' is from cop shows, movies (horror films etc) I've never actually seen one! I'm not a big believer in damning things I've never actually experienced. I'm not going to spend money to watch something I think will make me sick! I imagine there's the soft kind when a woman is taken by force but ends-up liking it...(PPV type stuff) but I mean violent, brutalizing a woman & 'legal' but she looks Pre-pubescent type. Why? I'm the close cousin of an abused kid & I'm the mother of a 5 year old. Life changes our views & perceptions of things...even when we don't really know what we're talking about ;-) As a woman I have no problem with WOMEN or women & men or men...Really? Isn't titillation & a little self pleasure normal? Edited August 12, 2015 by ShatteredLady Link to post Share on other sites
deadelvis Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 My girlfriend watches rape porn. That always seemed odd to me. And gangbang porn and old men with really young looking girls. Or some combination of the three. Not really my thing. but hey... to each there own. I'm actually not a big fan of porn. I think it creates distance between the couple sexually. But if I need to bust one and my girl isn't around I'll tug one out to something raunchy. But I think porn is better if you watch it together. Link to post Share on other sites
HereNorThere Posted August 16, 2015 Share Posted August 16, 2015 There's nothing immoral about porn itself, but to be honest, the frequency in which he uses it would be a major turn off for me. To me, it indicates a level of hyper sexuality and lack of impulse control. Let me guess, ADHD? Is he on a stimulant medication? Link to post Share on other sites
MJJean Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 I don't have a problem with porn. Watched my share of all kinds. I also don't mind if hubby watches porn and I certainly have no problem with porn being incorporated into our sex life. That said, desensitization can be a problem. It's easy to use pron regularly and then get bored with what you're watching, find something new, get bored with that, and so on. It's possible the viewer will reach a point where they need more extremes. With regular, daily, viewing I would think that desensitization would happen faster than it would for someone pacing themselves. Besides, variety is the spice of life and everything in moderation and all that. If you're concerned his solo and/or your shared viewing could be a problem, I'd suggest making porn part of the menu, but not something either of you eat every day. Vary what you order from the "menu" that way everything you enjoy never becomes boring or routine. Link to post Share on other sites
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