Why is he being so immature ??

[Lindsaycaper]

My ex boyfriend of 2 years and I were having so many problems. He tends to play games never says how he really feels about anything. I broke up with him about 2 months ago. I couldn't take his immature games and he just became annoying to me overall.

 

After I broke up with him he would stalk me. Literally look at everything I post on social media, he would follow me sometimes singing behind me and talking until I would respond. About a few weeks ago I sent him a very straight forward message saying that I want him to leave me alone and not to speak to me at all.

 

He contacted my sister saying he's going to get a restraining order which shocked us because I practically beg this guy to leave me alone!! He sent her screenshots of messages he's going use against me but all the messages he has are me saying leave me alone or something close to that. Basically my sister told him that he has no grounds to do anything like that. He sent her another screen shot and this message was me begging him to leave me alone.

 

I saw him a few weeks later at a mutual friends get together and he was cordial with me. I was polite and responded but nothing more. He started making passes at me and sexual advances. He started saying vulgar things about my body. I asked him to stop and he started saying things like he's allowed to do that because he was with me before. I ignored him and walked away. I realized the other day that he has my birth certificate in his car. I texted him and asked him for it back and he said "**** off idiot" I only responded with "ok"

 

Should I have said more?? I only said ok because I got really upset. I really need my birth certificate but I guess I'll just get a new one. I'm worried about him threatening to get charges pressed against me. Like I said the only evidence he has is me saying to leave me alone.... Idk I'm just really nervous as to what he's going to do next. Should I maybe get a restraining order myself??

[lolablue17]

I have a feeling that while breaking up with him you were hurting his ego badly. Maybe you said humiliating words, called him names, or stuff like that.

 

I'm not saying that it's your fault, but i'm trying to find an explanation for his obsession.

 

You may ignore everything, or initiate a meeting to clear the bad vibe with him. But other than one of the two options, don't do anything.

[Lindsaycaper]

I have a feeling that while breaking up with him you were hurting his ego badly. Maybe you said humiliating words, called him names, or stuff like that.

 

I'm not saying that it's your fault, but i'm trying to find an explanation for his obsession.

 

You may ignore everything, or initiate a meeting to clear the bad vibe with him. But other than one of the two options, don't do anything.

 

 

 

while breaking up with him I only told him that he has no reason to be egotistical and pointed out facts supporting that. Basically he isn't as great as he puts off

[PaperCrane]

If you want him to leave you alone why are you;

 

1. Texting him,
   
2. Talking to him in person,
   
3. Not blocking him on social media so he can't stalk it,
   
4. Interacting with him at all?
   

 

The best solution is to 100% NC. Seriously. ZERO interaction, zip, nada, the big nothing.

 

That fixes it. If you ignore him completely he'll eventually get bored and go away.

[Lindsaycaper]

If you want him to leave you alone why are you;

 

1. Texting him,
   
2. Talking to him in person,
   
3. Not blocking him on social media so he can't stalk it,
   
4. Interacting with him at all?
   

 

The best solution is to 100% NC. Seriously. ZERO interaction, zip, nada, the big nothing.

 

That fixes it. If you ignore him completely he'll eventually get bored and go away.

 

1.text him when he bothers me only to ask him to stop

2. I see him in person a lot because we work at the same airport and he follows me

3. He IS blocked on social media but I can't block every fake page he makes I blocked him but he will always tell me or reference things I post which means he sees it

4. I only interact with him when he follows me and forces it

[mrldii]

1.text him when he bothers me only to ask him to stop; Instead of sending a reply text asking him to stop texting you, show him what no texting looks like by NOT texting him;

2. I see him in person a lot because we work at the same airport and he follows me Inform your supervisor of the workplace harassment which is taking place and fill out any necessary forms;

3. He IS blocked on social media but I can't block every fake page he makes I blocked him but he will always tell me or reference things I post which means he sees it; go "viewable to friends only" for a while rather than being "open to the public";

4. I only interact with him when he follows me and forces it; see #2; if he does it in public places then, yes, you'll need to get a [temporary] restraining order.

 

OP, you do however engage in unnecessary correspondence with him as was evidenced by your "OK" which you sent him when he told you to "F***k off" when you'd initiated contact asking him to return your birth certificate. There was no reason for that reply to his emotional outburst.

 

Likewise, there is no reason for you to respond to his unwanted texts by telling him you want him to stop sending unwanted texts; simply stop responding to his texts. You claim you feel he is being very "immature", but then you feed into his immature behavior by giving him attention (by text-replying) when he sends you the unwanted texts.

 

Not responding IS the best way to let him know you will not respond to his attempts for attention.

 

 

 

Best of luck to you...

[ExpatInItaly]

He is withholding your birth certificate. That is not ok, and it is not his to keep. I don't know how old you and he are, but you may need to ask a parent to help you out with this.

 

Do as everyone else instructed and do not reply to him anymore. At all. Tell your sister to do that same. If he keeps this up anyway, speak to the police. Explain what has been happening and ask them what course of action they recommend. There isn't much they can do about his presence on social media, but surely they'll have some suggestions about him following you around and contacting you.

Edited July 31, 2015 by ExpatInItaly

[kendahke]

If you want him to leave you alone why are you;

 

1. Texting him,
   
2. Talking to him in person,
   
3. Not blocking him on social media so he can't stalk it,
   
4. Interacting with him at all?
   

 

The best solution is to 100% NC. Seriously. ZERO interaction, zip, nada, the big nothing.

 

That fixes it. If you ignore him completely he'll eventually get bored and go away.

 

^^^^This. All of this.

 

1.text him when he bothers me only to ask him to stop

2. I see him in person a lot because we work at the same airport and he follows me

3. He IS blocked on social media but I can't block every fake page he makes I blocked him but he will always tell me or reference things I post which means he sees it

4. I only interact with him when he follows me and forces it

 

1. Stop responding!!!

 

2. Go talk to the head of security at the airport and tell them that he is harassing and stalking you and you do not feel safe. They've got cameras recording everything in that airport, so they can see for themselves.

 

3. Make sure you document all of this for when you go for an RO

 

4. You need to get an RO on him.

 

You can order a new birth certificate online. As far as the document in his car, go talk to your local police and ask them what your options are. He may lie and say he doesn't have it, so there's that possibility.

 

Get that RO.

Edited July 31, 2015 by kendahke

[smackie9]

He knows you are easily provoked, that's why he does it...he plays you. Even if it's negative attention, at least he is getting it. If you want someone to leave you alone, you ignore them.

 

As for him threatening you about a restraining order....he has to provide proof you have to actually threaten to kill him.....other than that, he is just blown hot air.

 

YOU can actually press charges against him. You keep all you messages from him, take videos of him harassing you (which you should had at that party), eye witnesses, etc. YOU can charge him for stalking/sexual harassment.

 

For now, you talk to your HR person/supervisor about him, and they will investigate, and possibly get security involved.

 

Take down your social media for a little while, or start up on under a different name....remember this is how he is getting to you. Block him, and stop responding to him, don't go to parties where he's going to be at. I'm shocked at these people you call friends. The host of that party should have had him escorted out.

 

You need to take proper action to protect yourself....but whining at him isn't going to stop this. Seek out advice from your parents or HR person....make sure they know what is going on.....before this really gets out of hand.

[stillafool]

OP, you do however engage in unnecessary correspondence with him as was evidenced by your "OK" which you sent him when he told you to "F***k off" when you'd initiated contact asking him to return your birth certificate. There was no reason for that reply to his emotional outburst.

 

Likewise, there is no reason for you to respond to his unwanted texts by telling him you want him to stop sending unwanted texts; simply stop responding to his texts. You claim you feel he is being very "immature", but then you feed into his immature behavior by giving him attention (by text-replying) when he sends you the unwanted texts.

 

Not responding IS the best way to let him know you will not respond to his attempts for attention.

 

 

 

Best of luck to you...

 

This is excellent advice OP. Are you going to do any of the things suggested?

[crederer]

If you want him to leave you alone why are you;

 

1. Texting him,
   
2. Talking to him in person,
   
3. Not blocking him on social media so he can't stalk it,
   
4. Interacting with him at all?
   

 

The best solution is to 100% NC. Seriously. ZERO interaction, zip, nada, the big nothing.

 

That fixes it. If you ignore him completely he'll eventually get bored and go away.

 

I have to agree with this. I think on some level you like the drama (even if it's on a subconcious level). You are also in full denial mode like it's everything with him and nothing to do with you. If you completely ignore it I can promise you it will go away.