FaithInTheDark Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 ive had history with this man for years. we've always had a connection but were just friends with benefits type thing. he knew i had feelings for him but he told me a few times now that hes not into a relationship. well a year has past and hes back in my life... again he explained to me that has a hard time opening up to woman and wanting to date and doesnt know how. he also pretty much said i dont have a desire to date and thats something i need to work on. i told him hes going to miss out on something great if he cant open his eyes and heart. finally, he broke down in tears explaining that he was sexually abused as a child and it really screwed him up (obviously) he said he wanted to tell me so i could understand since ive been probably wondering why he wont commit and is holding back. well, weeks has passed and were spending alot of time together, hes even met my parents! Last night after sex, I was laying there thinking what the hell am i doing? i cant keep doing this to myself, its not fair to me. I take such good care of this man and hes not giving me what i need. i seriously need to distance myself. So I finally spoke up for the very first time and told him that I cant do this anymore, him not wanting to be with me makes me feel like im not good enough. I care about him so much but hes not feeling the same. I said i want to still be in his life but its time to be true to myself. He said- " can we just take things slow? im not ready to jump into boyfriend & girlfriend relationship" now, im wondering what does that even mean? does that mean he wants to take the step in that direction? him and i have been taking things slow for years. but this is the first time hes suggested something. he knows i'm serious about whats working for him and i feel better i finally straight up told him does anybody know what this man is implying? am i wasting my time here? Link to post Share on other sites
PaperCrane Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 It means he doesn't want anything to change. He doesn't need to do anything to get sex from you and all he gave you was words when you wanted actions. Intimacy should go hand in hand with a relationship if that's what you want from him, ideally. So set it that you both need to take steps in treating each other like SO's and not a sex friend. Link to post Share on other sites
Author FaithInTheDark Posted July 31, 2015 Author Share Posted July 31, 2015 Yes, I feel a lot better about myself and laying boundaries now, but it was time to stop kidding myself Link to post Share on other sites
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