jeff corr Posted January 16, 1998 Share Posted January 16, 1998 I met this girl about 2 months ago, but she lives outta town. I only get to see her on weekends. This last weekend I went there, we spent alot of time together, etc. Slept together, she acted normal enough. All of a sudden she wants to break up. What did I do wrong?? Link to post Share on other sites
LoveAngel Posted January 16, 1998 Share Posted January 16, 1998 I met this girl about 2 months ago, but she lives outta town. I only get to see her on weekends. This last weekend I went there, we spent alot of time together, etc. Slept together, she acted normal enough. All of a sudden she wants to break up. What did I do wrong?? Jeff, Unfortunately, long-distance relationships lack greatly at times in one area: communication. You really didn't give a lot to go on in your post, but that alone tells me something. Jeff, from your perspective you did nothing wrong, but that's just the thing -- it's your perspective. The only way you can find out the reasons and motives behind your breakup are to ask. And who better to ask than your former girlfriend of two months, because she does know the answer. Now, I'm not saying that you're at fault in any way when I suggest that your perspective may be misleading -- don't get me wrong, you may have done nothing "wrong" in your relationship. She may have just found the distance thing too stressful or perhaps she just found someone else she'd rather be with. Who knows? But therein lies my point. She does. And since you brought it up, "sleeping together" is a very loose term that you need to explain further, but judging from the overall short period of time that you were dating (2 months) and of those two months only spending weekends together, I'm going to go out on a limb and say that you were having "sex," which really, and as we have seen time and time again, may be misconstrued to mean other things insinuating that the moment may have been love making. But in fact, love making need not involve actual sexual intercourse. It's on a much higher level, and in today's society, for better or for worse, sex and making love have become two completely different things. Therefore, that fact, in my eyes, is pointless and when you really think deeply about it, was it so special? But since you did bring it up, again, I assume that, to you, meant something. What did it mean though? Jeff, if you want answers, there's only one way you're going to get them -- talk to her. Sit down and have a "heart-to-heart" conversation and let her know how you feel and what your relationship meant to you. Listen to what she has to say, which may not be that much, depending on whether or not she's ready or willing to open up to you. You can't expect anything from her, Jeff. You're not going to lose anything by asking even if she won't tell you. But at least you'll know. If you don't ask, however, it will always be a mystery to you and you'll just have to move on. Perhaps sometime in the future you'll get back together with her. Perhaps she'll tell you something about yourself that you weren't fully aware of, or perhaps you'll learn nothing other than it really wasn't important to her. But no matter what you'll learn a lot about yourself and the importance of developing a strong foundation of communication in any interpersonal relationships you get into. Best wishes to you and if you wish to continue talking about this or if you just want to let us know how things went, please join us in the chat room! Yours, LoveHost Link to post Share on other sites
Jeff Posted January 17, 1998 Share Posted January 17, 1998 I do not know if it lacked the communication part. I called her everyday, saw her every weekend, and we msged each other alot on ICQ as well. By sleeping together, I did not mean sex at all. We are both virgins and proud of it. Devote catholics who do not believe in premarital sex. We have done certain things, such as sleep in the nude, touch one another, and kiss all night. We both learned that there is much more than just sex. Being my first girlfriend ever, and my first kiss, this alone meant alot to me. Upon further talking, she just says that she "wasn't ready for a relashionship yet." She said she will always remember me as "the sweet guy whose heart she broke." Perhaps this is true, I do not know. Next year I will be living in her town, since I am going to go to her college. I'd be within a couple of miles of her. We left on good terms, no angry fighting or saying things we would later regret. Perhaps someday we could get back together? What are the chances of that? Link to post Share on other sites
Icicle Posted January 19, 1998 Share Posted January 19, 1998 I met this girl about 2 months ago, but she lives outta town. I only get to see her on weekends. This last weekend I went there, we spent alot of time together, etc. Slept together, she acted normal enough. All of a sudden she wants to break up. What did I do wrong?? Jeff this could be because of the 'slept together" part...she may be afraid of imtimacy and wants to distance herslef from you...I suggest that you talk to her about it all to see what she thinks of the whole thing.... Ici Link to post Share on other sites
Jeff Posted January 19, 1998 Share Posted January 19, 1998 Jeff this could be because of the 'slept together" part...she may be afraid of imtimacy and wants to distance herslef from you...I suggest that you talk to her about it all to see what she thinks of the whole thing.... Perhaps. Being a long distance relashionship we only saw each other every weekend. Because we live 135 miles apart we always spent the weekend at each other's place, spending the nights there too. At least we left on good terms - maybe we will get back together sometime. Link to post Share on other sites
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