ThisisIt606 Posted August 1, 2015 Share Posted August 1, 2015 I wrote about this guy before, but we have been dating 2 full months. I had a performance last week which he asked to come to. He said if it would make me too nervous, etc. he understood and wouldn't come. ( I was thinking of inviting him but the advice from my friends was no too BF/gf like and we don't have a label yet) Anyways I said yes, that would be great! Told him my parents would be there and I would meet him after the show after I met my parents. ( thought it was too soon to have them meet/ wasn't comfortable yet). After I told him yes i asked if he was also free later that week before his surgery bc I had a gift for him. He said aw that's really nice and he thought so but his mom was flying in on a red eye and he needed to talk to her/ no idea what her plans were. We agreed he come over after my performance. Anyways he came to the show and it all worked out fine. He said he enjoyed it and I thanked him for coming. We went back to my place after. He spent the night and it went well/ normal as usual. Talked, watched some of our fav TV show, had sex, pillow talk then fell asleep ( both work in am). As he was walking me to work he asked what my weekend plans were. I told him I was getting a new phone. I asked if he still had plans to ( go to local vaca spot with this mom) he said no and he didn't want to go but his sister might come just to take their mom. He said if I had time outside my phone do I want to hang out. I told I'm of course I would have time/ doesn't take long and yes, I'd like to see him again before his surgery. He kissed me goodbye and said we'll figure out the weekend. I smiled, nodded and said sounds good and told him to have a good rest of the day. We texted later and it came up his moms flight got delayed and he'd have to get her very late/ night early AM which he wasn't happy about. The next day I asked how he pickup was, since I knew he was so tired. He said fine but made for a long day. He also said he was annoyed at his mom bc she couldn't decide if she wanted to go to vaca spot or not and then was thinking it was too much of a hassle. Aka she was going to stay home/ in his apartment and not leave for the weekend like the original plan was. So he hasn't asked me to hang out bc his mom is still around I assume. Should I ask him to hang out this weekend? I understand no sleepovers bc that would be awkward seeing how his mom is expecting him home. I'm torn bc I know he prob wants time with his mom ( even though he expressed frustration with her) but I really want to see him again. She also bought a one way ticket.... So I have no idea how long she is staying/ when I get to see him post op. How should I handle this? I'd love to see him before surgery and also be supportive after surgery. But idk how to do this with his mom there 24/7 and her one way ticket! Link to post Share on other sites
acrosstheuniverse Posted August 1, 2015 Share Posted August 1, 2015 You had plans this weekend with him right? If his availability changes due to his Mom arriving late/wanting to do something with him the onus is on him to actually tell you this and let you know he's no longer free. Otherwise he's putting you on hold while he continues with his plans, when you could be doing something for yourself instead of sitting around wondering. Seeing as he hasn't volunteered whether he can still see you or not, why not send him a message saying 'so I know your plans have changed this weekend, what time and where do you want to meet? I have some other stuff I need to do so I'd like to know when I'm seeing you'. If he says 'oh yeah you're right we can't meet' then you're well within your rights to ask him to make sure he tells you in future if he's cancelling a plan. Try not to put too much stock in seeing this guy, it's not really healthy to be so determined to be hanging around desperate to see him on a weekend. Do you have other stuff you can be doing or people to see? When someone says 'I don't know if I'm free' or 'I might be free' I hear that they're not free and go and make my own plans. You need the self respect to not be at a guy's beck and call, prioritise your own time and if he wants to see you, he needs to organise a set time/day or ask you out on a date. In your position I think I would just back away and let him do his family stuff/surgery and do your own thing. If he's interested in you, he'll be in touch. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted August 1, 2015 Share Posted August 1, 2015 He's the one with the uncertain schedule so let him get back to you. He sounds very into you so I am sure if he sees an opportunity he will contact you. I know you really want to see him but not seeing him for a few days or a week isn't the end of the world. When you get to see each other again it will be even more fantastic :-) 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ThisisIt606 Posted August 1, 2015 Author Share Posted August 1, 2015 Ok, I agree. I'll let him take the lead on this one. The last time ( posted if I should text good luck before big presentation) I decided not to and let him come to me. He did text and then asked to hang out. So that situation worked itself out, when I just relaxed, pulled back a little and let him contact me. This probably seems like the same deal. The only text I plan to imitate next is one before he night of his surgery, wishing him well/ will be thinking about him etc. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Lois_Griffin Posted August 1, 2015 Share Posted August 1, 2015 I find it very odd that you're as intimate with this man as two people can BE because you have sex with him - yet you stumble all over the place wondering what the correct 'etiquette' is in reaching out to him or making plans with him. If you're not comfortable with being able to tell him how you feel about certain things or that you want to spend time with him, then you sure as hell shouldn't be sleeping with him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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