Woman with male energy

[Phoe]

What is kino ing?

 

So glad I'm not the only one who doesn't know what that means!

[HereNorThere]

There's absolutely nothing wrong with not conforming to traditional social gender roles. I was raised around homosexual men and I'm definitely not a lumberjack, alpha male type guy, so I can totally relate. However, when it comes to attraction, the vast majority of people are going to be attracted to someone these traditional traits and it's not a choice.

 

I don't think it's fair, but it is science. Denying that this bias doesn't exist doesn't change the fact that it does. Women actually are much better at assessing a person for all of their traits as opposed to men who are way more easily tricked by a sparkly pair of boobies. Women know this and some use it to their advantage and some don't. The ones who don't are usually the healthier women, but they're sometimes skipped over for the hot yoga pants chick, no matter how horrible they are as a person.

[HereNorThere]

So glad I'm not the only one who doesn't know what that means!

 

 

It means touching. It's short for kinetic.

Edited August 1, 2015 by HereNorThere

[PogoStick]

lastly: I'm also Mormon. Kissing is allowed, where do you think all of those kids come from. LOL

 

In the moment it was an obvious lie meant to tease her.

 

I've noticed a few women here express frustration that men run when a woman is sexually forward.

[Phoe]

It means touching. It's short for kinetic.

 

Ahh, in that case I feel even more compelled to say that I don't think that's particularly masculine.

 

One of the things I always see recommended on this board for women to do, is touch! It seems to always be considered feminine for a woman to flirt with a man by touching him.

[PogoStick]

So glad I'm not the only one who doesn't know what that means!

 

Yeah, about an hour in, she starts telling me about her dog, and then demonstrates by "pawing" at my chest and thighs, not once, like 6 times.

 

Believe me, all of this was much better than the type of girl who is in a shell, giving a guy nothing to read. Again, I enjoyed our time, it just wasn't typical female behavior in my experience.

[Phoe]

Yeah, about an hour in, she starts telling me about her dog, and then demonstrates by "pawing" at my chest and thighs, not once, like 6 times.

 

Believe me, all of this was much better than the type of girl who is in a shell, giving a guy nothing to read. Again, I enjoyed our time, it just wasn't typical female behavior in my experience.

 

Heh, I'm glad you enjoyed your time

 

I'd say just because she's not what you typically experience with a woman, doesn't mean it's "masculine". Just a little different than what you're used to

[dreamingoftigers]

Yup, just remember to leave enough room for Jesus, Joseph Smith, the gold plates and your magic underwear.

 

Yes, yes I'll be sure to get a King-Sized bed.

[GypsyGirl966]

OP, the biggest question you need to ask yourself is what do you really want in a partner? A true equal, or a woman-child?

 

Someone who shoulders half the financial burden (or even more)?

 

Someone who can break out the snow shovel and get started if she gets home from work ahead of you?

 

Someone who thinks for herself or allows others (including men other than you) to tell her how to think?

 

Someone who openly agrees with your food and music preferences, but then secretly mocks you in her mind for the same?

 

Someone who always waits for you to touch her first, or someone who slaps you away unless it is her initiating the contact? (What's wrong with a little bit of both.... touching you and then waiting to see if you kiss her, that sounds fairly interactive to me). Someone who becomes rigid and tense (or worse yet, cries) if you decide to dirty-talk her a little in bed or flip her into a new position?

 

Someone who stands there, like a child, waiting for you to pick the path every single time you come to a fork in the road? BTW, these are also the women that then complain about your choice...... when you SHARE power with a woman, she is less likely to complain about your choices because she knows what it is like to have to make choices and then her choices also become fair game for criticism.

 

Why are you running the "either / or" mentality? It IS possible for you to both be the prey, and both be the hunters.....

 

As for sex, I absolutely LOVE to be dominated by men in bed, enjoy submissive positions, etc., however, I also LOVE being on top and dominating where I get to control the rhythm, thrust, angle, etc. Sex is give and take, anything else and at least one person has some serious mommy or daddy issues.

[HereNorThere]

Ahh, in that case I feel even more compelled to say that I don't think that's particularly masculine.

 

One of the things I always see recommended on this board for women to do, is touch! It seems to always be considered feminine for a woman to flirt with a man by touching him.

 

The conundrum is that it doesn't conform to the usual traditional social gender norms, so it throws a male brain off a little. Guys are usually the more sexually forward people when it comes to dating and escalation. A lot of men are kinda off put by sexually forward women. The first thing that comes to mind is "how many others guys does she treat this way?" Psychologically, it puts women in a more of Mrs. Right Now instead of Mrs. Right category in some male's mind.

 

Not saying it's right or wrong, just explaining why it would be confusing. Personally, I don't find find sexually forward or dominate women attractive, but I have lots of friends who do. Some guys fantasize about professionals like strippers, porn stars, etc. and some fantasize about the innocent, sweet girl next door type. I am of the latter, lol.

[jay1983]

Ugh. Some of the men that posted up in response sound just awful to me.

 

I am not a very "feminine" woman.

I don't project "feminine" energy.

I like sex. I have my own preferences amid I am not always the most "socially aware" person.

 

I have trouble relating to many "female" roles.

 

I am not into shoes. I'm not fussy about my hair, clothes, house. I bought my last purse at goodwill for $7. I will use it until the zipper breaks. Then I will get another one.

 

I am more comfortable at work than being a Mom. It's rough because society really guilts you about that.

 

I simply don't come by it naturally.

 

In fact I more naturally come by being "handy" with things. My father taught me to look outility for myself and to stand up to people. He also cooked, which was viewed as "feminine" My mother doesn't cook, almost at all. I love to cook.

 

I also love who I am and what I have to offer a partner.

I spent a lot of time looking for a highly-sexual partner that appreciated my qualities and didn't expect me to be "done-up with manicured nails."

 

Am I trying to be a man? Am I trying to out-man a man? Am I white-knuckling, fighting against my inner urge to shoe-shop?

 

No to all of the above.

 

I also won three math scholarships, one physics and two chemistry. (And one English).

 

My point is this: I find it really offensive that what I naturally AM is automatically contextualized as being in competition with my men or men in general, or that somehow a

a woman with "more masculine" traits I am worth less then my purse-loving counterparts. Or that I am trying to project some "image." I am not "really confident."

 

I used to wear my Dad's flannel jackets on cold days in high school and they said I was a lesbian, for instance.

 

I am annoyed by the constant societal guilt-trip that comes along with being my gender.

 

I am my own person, with my own priorities and I like myself.

If you don't like me, fine but that doesn't mean it's because I am deficient as a woman. Quite possibly my farming ancestors prized strong women like me. Just because it's not fashionable with the internet-porn generation doesn't mean I lack in values. Maybe it means the men in this generation are too narrow-minded.

 

Unlike Pogo-stick who sees a sexy, smart woman who knows what she wants, accomplishes things, and would like to date him........

 

Sadly this intimidates other men on this thread who wants something easier. Perhaps they see her as challenging because should overlap some of what they feel they have to offer.

 

You know guys, more than one person can be smart and accomplished in a relationship.it doesn't mean you have to take it up the butt because a girl might be better at math.

 

 

lastly: I'm also Mormon. Kissing is allowed, where do you think all of those kids come from. LOL

 

Do you pay for men on dates?

[Phoe]

The conundrum is that it doesn't conform to the usual traditional social gender norms, so it throws a male brain off a little. Guys are usually the more sexually forward people when it comes to dating and escalation. A lot of men are kinda off put by sexually forward women. The first thing that comes to mind is "how many others guys does she treat this way?" Psychologically, it puts women in a more of Mrs. Right Now instead of Mrs. Right category in some male's mind.

 

Not saying it's right or wrong, just explaining why it would be confusing. Personally, I don't find find sexually forward or dominate women attractive, but I have lots of friends who do. Some guys fantasize about professionals like strippers, porn stars, etc. and some fantasize about the innocent, sweet girl next door type. I am of the latter, lol.

 

I suppose it depends on the context.

 

I would imagine that light touching on the arm or hand, stuff like that, would be of no consequence.

 

If she is blatantly grabbing his balls, then YES, that may be too forward, haha.

[HereNorThere]

I suppose it depends on the context.

 

I would imagine that light touching on the arm or hand, stuff like that, would be of no consequence.

 

If she is blatantly grabbing his balls, then YES, that may be too forward, haha.

 

It's not just the touching, it's the combination of it all. Personally, I like to keep it all friendly on a first date. I'm not prude, I just know what's going to keep me interested. Guys are way more likely to hit and split on a girl like that. Most girls have been burned by this very thing and don't do it for that very reason.

 

Not saying it's right - it just is what it is. Most of all of this is subconscious anyway.

[elaine567]

It's not just the touching, it's the combination of it all. Personally, I like to keep it all friendly on a first date. I'm not prude, I just know what's going to keep me interested. Guys are way more likely to hit and split on a girl like that. Most girls have been burned by this very thing and don't do it for that very reason.

 

Not saying it's right - it just is what it is. Most of all of this is subconscious anyway.

 

So light touching on the arm by a woman, is going to get some guys running for cover?

[HereNorThere]

So light touching on the arm by a woman, is going to get some guys running for cover?

 

 

I literally just said it's not the touching, it's all of the sexually forward behavior combined.

[BlueIris]

Yeah, about an hour in, she starts telling me about her dog, and then demonstrates by "pawing" at my chest and thighs, not once, like 6 times.

 

Believe me, all of this was much better than the type of girl who is in a shell, giving a guy nothing to read. Again, I enjoyed our time, it just wasn't typical female behavior in my experience.

 

I agree with the women above that the woman you're talking about doesn't sound insecure at all. People who are atypical (and I'm not sure she's all that atypical, but I don't date women so I'll take your word on that) and comfortable being so are refreshing to be around, and in my experience, they tend to be more open-minded and accepting of others being themselves as well. I would bet that she would also want a partner who is direct and comfortable expressing himself. If you're direct and energetic, being with someone tentative or bound by stereotypes could feel like playing tennis with someone sitting in a chair.

[KatZee]

None of this sounds "masculine" to me.

 

She sounds confident, lively, and uninhibited is all.

 

Lol much of this could be said about me. I can be very blunt sexually. I'm not really a girly girl, i only dress like one.

 

Likewise... a lot of what you wrote sounds exactly like me. I'm not "masculine" or trying to be "one of the dudes" at all.

 

Male OR female, who the hell wants a clingy ass partner? Certainly not me. I absolutely cannot tolerate men who text 24/7, want to speak to me every single day. I have a life. I have a job. I have friends. I have goals I'm obtaining. I don't want some dude revolving his life around me, wanting to be all up in me. I definitely do not need to speak to the guy I'm dating every day.

 

Locking down a woman after a first date????? WHO DOES THAT!!? Needy and clingy men. That's who. Who does this after a first date? That's such a red flag and she is 100% right. The last guy I went on a date with told me, ON OUR FIRST DATE, that he was getting off online dating and only focusing on me. I was like, wait, what? We've met in person for about 60 minutes at this point, how are you telling me right now that you're going to be exclusive with me???? It freaked me out A LOT, and it had NOTHING do with me not wanting to give up "f-k buddies" like you're stating. I don't even multi-date, and I most certainly don't have f-k buddies. I just take time before jumping into an exclusive situation.

 

I have a sarcastic/witty/hilarious/ball busting (on occasion) personality. I've never had one person say that I'm masculine. I get told how funny I am and that's it's so great I can make them laugh.

 

I dress very feminine but I'm not some female that sits around with her mouth closed just looking pretty. Is there a point to that? We're not just females. We're people. We're smart. We have interests. We're confident. We take initiative. It's amazing to me to see that people still have this mold that they want women to be in, this certain "box", and the second they step outside of that box, they are men. Come on.

[jen1447]

Ya she's clueless. I'm an assertive woman, there are better, more seductive, ways to interact with a man aggressively.

 

Sounds like she's ready to peg you, not have her hair pulled.

 

Don't knock it til you try it.

 

~

 

Interesting notion that confident women must have low self esteem btw.

[RoseVille]

3. Complained about guys wanting to go exclusive after 1 date. Took that to mean she's reluctant to give up other fk buddy(s).

 

Why are you assuming that she even has a single FWB? I don't, and a guy who expects exclusivity from date one is going to freak me out.

[WomenWubber]

No real questions here, just comment how you choose.

 

Went on a 1st date last night, very interesting woman. She's a really high match for me on OKC, like 95% which is rare in this conservative locale. She's a woman with lots of masculine qualities.

 

1. She is a PhD, math professor. Very intelligent, wide rang of topics. Very attractive quality to me.

 

2. Talked about how she can't stand whiny, needy guys. She doesn't like frequent communication, doesn't want daily texts or phone calls. Liked that I didn't contact her at all for a couple days after we made date plans.

 

3. Complained about guys wanting to go exclusive after 1 date. Took that to mean she's reluctant to give up other fk buddy(s).

 

4. Likes to ball bust, such as food and music preferences.

 

5. Was kino-ing me during the date. Very open body language after 30 minutes in.

 

6. Initiated leaving the bar to go for a walk. Kind of lead the walk, as in she would randomly turn and start heading a new direction. Maybe it was a general lack of social awareness.

 

7. Decides to stop and sit at a bench, think she was waiting for me to make a move. It was entertaining.

 

8. Talks dirty like a guy (in general, not that specific moment).

 

9. Asks me to walk her to her car. She outright asks "hug or a kiss"? So I hug her, tell her I'm Mormon and kissing isn't allowed (we're both confirmed Atheists). And then I kiss her, make plans for 2nd meet, kiss again. She says she liked it.

 

Conversation was great. Planned for 2 hours but stayed over 4. I could be a wild match for her, feeling she is very sexual. Not sure if she picked up on how high my sexuality is too, but i'll be cocaine to a woman like her.

 

Not sure if I want to compete with her in masculine energy, or just keep my normal disposition, or: In this rare case I'm tempted to be the prey and let her chase since that seems like her instinct. But no, my real instinct is to pull the hair on the back of her head and physically dominate her in the bedroom. Pretty sure she'd enjoy that.

 

Sounds like she likes to take charge.

[jay1983]

just keep seeing her and see where it goes. If it doesn't work out or turns out to be some kinda disaster, you'll have a really cool story to write about.

[guest569]

I think you're overthinking a first date and need to forget about silly gender roles and what society think is "feminine" you spent 4 hours together and sounds like you hit it off. See what happens. From what you wrote she just sounds fairly normal.

[Gloria25]

This thread makes me sad...

 

It confirms what I think most men see about me and get turned off...that I'm too "masculine".

 

Well, while I would not have conducted myself like this woman did on a date...when a guy spends time with me, he finds out things that I share in common with this woman. Then, I guess he gets to the point where he gets a feeling that I don't need him, when that is far from the truth. So, I often end up overcompensating - which ends up in turning them off even more - hence, where they may also say I have low-self esteem beneath all that "confidence"

 

I'm educated, independent, don't like a lot of contact, am passionate/sexual, and do a lot of "masculine" things.

 

I've tried to show these guys that I have a very "feminine" side (i.e. cooking, cleaning, nurturing, nails done/sweet smelling) and that "all of the masculine and feminine" is me. I know how to treat a man, but I have to take care of myself if I don't have a guy around.

 

I mean, I'm not like my gfs who "befriend" males who can do handi-stuff for them. I grab a wrench and do it myself or hire someone to do it. What's wrong with that? Too masculine for you? If I had a man, of course I'd take a backseat and let him be the man...

 

**Sigh**

 

I just wish that guys would take the time to get to see "all" of me and not be afraid of the masculine traits that I developed simply in order to survive.

 

But seriously, not sure about the OP's date. She does seem pretty off-putting. Maybe give it a few more dates before throwing in the towel?

[guest569]

Its sad when it is easier for people to believe that a woman is more likely to be putting on an act to cover self esteem issues, than to genuinely be independent and educated and confident.

[Noproblem]

:sick:you know I felt insulted from the first comment

why you people have the idea that math and engineering is for guys only! I have this idea really popular in the society here!

I am doing a math major now, not because I love it, but it's easier than the other options as I want to go to grad schools later in my life..

 

 

and just because the girl has strong personality does not make her a guy..

it makes her a strong and confident woman!

 

OMG:sick:

 

and you know what

 

girls are smart in math and engineering, they are only driven to different paths by default or by society..

just because guys think they are good in math and engineering, does not make them better than girls!

Edited August 2, 2015 by Noproblem