I feel like I'm in an AA meeting....it's been 5 days since my last contact.....

[too_risky]

Help guys, it's been 5 days since my last NC and before that it was 6 days. I'm losing steam and every second is harder and harder to go NC. I want to talk to him....I want to tell him how I'm feeling.....I want to know if he's with someone....if he's thinking of me....if you need to know the story, read my earlier posts. How long does it usually take before this gets easier?.........

[Jomp1972]

Hello, I am new to the site and don't really know your whole story, but here I go.

 

When does it get easier? Well it depends on how you felt for that person, how much time you were together, etc. They say that it takes at least 1/2 the time that you are with someone to get over them and move on. So if you were dating for a year it is supposed to take 6 months. But I don't know if that is really true, because I dated someone for a year and a half and it took me a little over 2 to get over him.

 

Talking with friends can help, even if you are driving them crazy with constantly talking about NC. I know I have done it with my friends when I need to speak to someone other then the "ex" just so I wouldn't call him.

 

I know that you are probably thinking about him every day constantly and wondering what he is doing and who he is doing it with, like you want to be that fly on the wall just to know whether or not he is at least thinking of you and whether or not it is as hard for him as it is for you.

 

Unfortunately nobody can give you that answer, just try and stay strong and keep talking to your friends, it really helps....

[too_risky]

Thanks Jomp. I was with him for 3 years. If it takes me a year and a 1/2 to get over him....I don't know if I'll survive. I've never ever done NC for a break up before. I normally do the standard...begging, pleading, crying, irrational stuff I suppose most of us do when faced with something like that. Your heart is ripped out and you're out of your mind and crazy. He told me 12 days ago not to contact him and I caved 5 days ago and left him a message on his cell phone. I said....I know you don't want me to call you and I'm sorry but I just can't do this (add in me crying to this pitiful plea) and then I said "please call me back" and hung up. He never called. Pathetic, I know. I was desperate. I'm feeling that way tonight so instead of calling, I've had 1/2 a bottle of wine to blur reality. I figure if I finish the bottle I should be able to pass out real well and not feel anything tonight. I don't drink, ever, so this is really doing it's job on me tonight and I can tell cause i'm rambling on and on and on about nothing haha. Sorry....I wish someone on here had a similar experience and they could help me thru it. It's the not knowing thats killing me. If I knew he wouldnt come back, I'd try to move on but there's always that hope and that's what I cling to. I'm rambling again......Thanks for your input.

[Jomp1972]

Listen, I know exactly how you feel My boyfriend and I are going through problems right now and in the past he needed "two weeks" to think and I wasn't supposed to contact him at all, I was just to wait for him to call me. I gave in and he got pissed, but I had actually no clue as to why he wanted two weeks.

 

I know that it is hard, but try not to give in and know that the bottle of wine is only going to help a little to numb the pain for tonight anyway! I have been there and the hardest thing about it is the not knowing. I still don't know what is going to happen between my boyfriend and me and not knowing is driving me crazy. not knowing is always the worst. I hope that you get your answers. But maybe instead of calling him, try writing him a letter even if you don't send it, it will help you get your feelings out.

 

And if you do send it make sure that you re-read it so it doesn't make you sound desparate or anything, but let him know in it that you need to have answers in order to move on.