Is commenting on someone else weight acceptable in some cultures

[Els]

Yeah, it's acceptable in some cultures. That doesn't necessarily make it right or polite though, IMO.

 

I come from such a culture but I would never tell someone that to their face. I mean, come on, NOBODY needs to be told that they've gained weight. Unless they wear huuuuuuge clothes and drawstring pants on a regular basis, there's no way they wouldn't notice significant weight gain on themselves. Telling someone 'you've gained weight' is about as helpful as telling them 'oh I heard you just got fired'.

[GunslingerRoland]

I have a lot of friends from Eastern Asia, and yeah, they tend to be much more brutally honest about it when you put on a few pounds.

 

I know it's different being a man, but I know if I'm getting fat, it's not going to surprise me and offend me if someone points it out.

[Diezel]

I can only offer up my perspective from Latin America, but it's pretty common there to rib each other over weight issues.

 

It's funny because here people will flaunt their weight one way or another in your face and let you know that "Big is beautiful", but if you say, "No it isn't, it's offensive."

 

It's worse here.

[BlueBlood]

Someone's weight, much like their thoughts about me, are none of my business. When greeting someone I simply say "you look great" or "I love your shoes or hair or purse" or "really good to see you". You know, something complementary or kind. I'm not here to make someone feel bad or awkward, I'd rather come across as pleasant and kindly, so nope, unless they bring up a weight or skin rashes or hair loss concern (or something like unto) I keep convos as dignified and genteel as I can. If I'd been the OP in that conversation I'd have been a little stunned at the in your face aspect of such a topic, a topic usually reserved for non public discourse..

[Taramere]

I've never felt comfortable about commenting on other people's weight (whether I think they're worryingly thin or could lose a few pounds). Even less so over the past few years. A close friend has a very serious eating disorder that has made me acutely aware of how unhelpful it can be for other people to pass that kind of commentary.

 

People have mirrors and scales. They can see for themselves if they're overweight or underweight....unless they have the kind of mental health problem that skews their perception of themselves, in which case other people's observations really won't serve any useful purpose.

 

I don't really know why anybody (beyond close family or a partner) would feel compelled to comment on somebody they knew putting on or losing a lot of weight. If there's a health condition involved, the person will share details of that if they want to...but as BB says, I don't really think other people's health matters are an area to involve oneself in unless invited.

[SpiralOut]

My boyfriend and his family are Asian and his mother tells him when he's gaining weight, yet doesn't comment on his weight loss. I don't know if that's a cultural thing or just her personality. She also told her daughter (when she had a mouth infection) that her breath smelled bad. Maybe she's just blunt.

 

 

I am Canadian and I don't comment on other people's weight. I think it is rude and I don't like it when someone points out to me that I am skinny. The only comment that I want to hear about my body is "you look fit." To me that means healthy. That's a compliment, it means I take care of myself and that matters more than how much I weigh. Nobody needs to be skinny in order to be fit.

[Mizz Layta]

My boyfriend and his family are Asian and his mother tells him when he's gaining weight, yet doesn't comment on his weight loss. I don't know if that's a cultural thing or just her personality. She also told her daughter (when she had a mouth infection) that her breath smelled bad. Maybe she's just blunt..

I am Canadian and I don't comment on other people's weight. I think it is rude and I don't like it when someone points out to me that I am skinny. The only comment that I want to hear about my

Yes I've had Asians can be blunt without meaning offense

 

 

body is "you look fit." To me that means healthy. That's a compliment, it means I take care of myself and that matters more than how much I weigh. Nobody needs to be skinny in order to be fit.

yes I agree with you.I was never comfortable commenting on other people's weight. like what the other poster said, they can see themselves wether they're over weight or underweight

[Nikki Sahagin]

I'm English and I find personal comments very rude, especially as they are typically said in a mocking way.

 

I used to be VERY skinny (I miss that metabolism) and many English people would tell me I was 'too skinny', 'did I have an eating disorder?', 'are you sick?'

 

This was common. I always found it very rude. I would never (openly) comment on someone's weight / skin / height / clothes etc.

 

In the UK it is seen as rude but yet many do it.

[Nikki Sahagin]

I'd like to add that I think that what makes commenting on weight so inappropriate is that there are MANY reasons for weight loss and gain.

 

Illness

Bereavement

Eating disorders

 

It's not ALWAYS a case of just being skinny or just being overweight. When my mum had cancer, a lot of people commented on her weight as if that was the most important aspect of her illness. I found it in bad taste and it made me angry. Weight is often a reflection of something more so IMO it's a very personal and rude comment to make, UNLESS it is asked for.