candie13 Posted August 6, 2015 Share Posted August 6, 2015 I think it's great that you get all those stuff out of the way... just remember to take some time to process emotionally what's going on. One can't just fold their emotion in a box amongst with the rest of your mom's belonging and leave them in the garage... Get stuff done... but take care of yourself too. Be gently, ok ?!? Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted August 7, 2015 Share Posted August 7, 2015 This might be one of the most absolutely ignorant things I've ever read on this board. Seriously. nah, there are other post that reflect such. Mine, while less then sensitive , was truth telling. Few areas touch a nerve as does someone who lost a parent ... and whilst others graciously opened their hearts to share such sorrow, to have the person go on about an insurance policy. Basically the grieving process halted the moment that became more of importance then her life. Thats my less then stellar view. As stated earlier... I'll be respecting of such a loss of a parent... Link to post Share on other sites
Author ChicagoSparty Posted August 7, 2015 Author Share Posted August 7, 2015 (edited) nah, there are other post that reflect such. Mine, while less then sensitive , was truth telling. Few areas touch a nerve as does someone who lost a parent ... and whilst others graciously opened their hearts to share such sorrow, to have the person go on about an insurance policy. Basically the grieving process halted the moment that became more of importance then her life. Thats my less then stellar view. As stated earlier... I'll be respecting of such a loss of a parent... Oh yes, you know the truth. Of course you do. You're right. In reality, you don't know me, my mom, my family, the situation, the ins-and-outs, the intricacies of what's been going on....for the last month, the last 6 months, the last 3 years, or the last 40 years. You actually don't know one single thing about any of this except for what I wrote in one post at a time of extreme frustration. From that, you made a total judgment of me. That is absolutely, unequivocally, almost word-for-word, the definition of ignorance. And then....inexplicably....you decided to double-down on your ignorance with this post. Edited August 7, 2015 by ChicagoSparty Link to post Share on other sites
Author ChicagoSparty Posted August 7, 2015 Author Share Posted August 7, 2015 Us folks that truly understand grief will show regard for a life lost. As stated earlier... I'll be respecting of such a loss of a parent... Yes, clearly. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ChicagoSparty Posted August 7, 2015 Author Share Posted August 7, 2015 (edited) Here, I'll divulge a little. Tayla, what would your respect toward the loss of life look like if, when your mom died, you travelled to another state to take care of EVERYTHING that needed to be taken care of, only to get there, start digging through her stuff and find a judgement against her from the state on an eviction from an apartment totaling $9000...with YOU as the co-signer? And you didn't even know this eviction took place. Guess who has to pay for that. My mom? Nope. She's dead. She doesn't have to pay any bills. And there is plenty more of that kind of stuff. Ask and I would be happy to tell you about it. But yes, I should mourn for my mom. The poor thing. Edited August 7, 2015 by ChicagoSparty Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted August 7, 2015 Share Posted August 7, 2015 So, I found the policy status and was first of all relieved to see that it was dated March 3, 2015 and that there was no balance due on it (premiums were paid annually). ... , when I called to initiate the claim, the rep informed me that she cancelled the policy a few months before... ChicagoSparty, My condolences on your loss. Not to add to your troubles but what that rep told you does not make sense (to me). If your mom paid the annual premium back in March 2015 -- then the policy ought still be in force up to next March, no? I mean...in your shoes, I'd want to make darned sure that either she never paid the March 2015 premium, or she got back some refund. That amount of money IS life-changing, and you ARE dealing with all of it now...because it is in physical manifestation now. There's financial crap with which you must deal, which happened to come on the heels of your mom's death. I get it. Sending you strength and comfort. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ChicagoSparty Posted August 7, 2015 Author Share Posted August 7, 2015 ChicagoSparty, My condolences on your loss. Not to add to your troubles but what that rep told you does not make sense (to me). If your mom paid the annual premium back in March 2015 -- then the policy ought still be in force up to next March, no? I mean...in your shoes, I'd want to make darned sure that either she never paid the March 2015 premium, or she got back some refund. That amount of money IS life-changing, and you ARE dealing with all of it now...because it is in physical manifestation now. There's financial crap with which you must deal, which happened to come on the heels of your mom's death. I get it. Sending you strength and comfort. Thanks for your message. I appreciate it. Her policy was set to be renewed which would have subjected her to review and, given her condition, underwriting never would have written her a new policy. So, she did a cash surrender....which probably wasn't much. And the more I'm uncovering about her finances, the worse this is looking. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted August 8, 2015 Share Posted August 8, 2015 Oh yes, you know the truth.do. You're right. I know grief very well, buried both my parents. thank you. You actually don't know one single thing about any of this except for what I wrote in one post at a time of extreme frustration. Correct, People can only comment on what is written or conveyed. From that, you made a total judgment of me. Nope, conveyed that that policy is not as important as the grief. that is not a judgment on a person. Link to post Share on other sites
vrj Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 well my cousin also died just last two months ago and she was 10 years due to cancer but like my mom said we can't change what is done but just make to most out of it... just pray that she is okay and that you can move.. god bless and condolence straight from the heart...^_^ 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ChicagoSparty Posted August 15, 2015 Author Share Posted August 15, 2015 So, 2 weeks into this. Finally had a little (emphasis on 'little') time to reflect on all of this. I'm not really sure how I feel about any of it. I guess that I don't really know what I lost. Not saying that flippantly, but like, I really don't know. I've had so many people say to me 'I cannot imagine losing a parent', and then I think to myself 'I cannot imagine having a parent'. So, I'm not really sure how much to grieve. There are waves that hit me, of course. But I also feel a lot of weight has been lifted off me. My mom had her moments. She did try, as a mother, some of the time. But she was a very lost, hurt soul...and she tended to put that onto others. She was a big-time alcoholic. Abusive and negligent. Never supported anything I wanted to do. When I went to college, even though she made decent money, she wouldn't do anything to help me out. Told me college was stupid and that I should go out and get a job. I don't know. I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to be grieving here. Of course she helped shape who I am, but a lot of that was more me having to shape me myself. Link to post Share on other sites
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