cgl5915 Posted August 3, 2015 Share Posted August 3, 2015 Here's the deal. About 4 months ago I broke up with my gf of 6 months. Basically at the time my thought was she lives an hour away(but works in my town). The times we saw each other were sporadic, because of her kids and dumbass ex husband screwing our plans up. I figured it just wasn't working out, so I ended it. We briefly spoke a couple time over the next month when I told her I wanted to give it another go. I realized after a couple dates and just time that I made a mistake and wanted to make the effort to be with her. We talked for about 3 weeks before seeing each other again. We went on one date and agreed we were an "item" again but about 2 hours after the date she breaks it off again. Saying things like I'll break her heart, etc..we haven't talked for a little over a month and she texts me out of the blue. Saying she was wrong and that she wants to try and get to know each other again. So we've been talking for the past 10 days and she's not like she was before. Very sporadic with texting back and seems very guarded. Why did she even bother talking to me again? Insight? Link to post Share on other sites
aisuru Posted August 3, 2015 Share Posted August 3, 2015 That's not a second chance. She has an emotional need right now and using you to feel better. If she really wanted a second chance, she would set a day and time to see you. I admit I'm guilty of doing this with guys I dated in the past. Usually it's after some new guy didn't work out and I only do it with guys I'm not romantically interested in. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author cgl5915 Posted August 3, 2015 Author Share Posted August 3, 2015 I appreciate the reply. We actually had plans for last night but she had to cancel because her ex was drunk and had the kids. I know she's not lying because she's not that type of person and this has happened before with drama with her ex so she did set a time to meet and I could tell was excited. We have rescheduled for next weekend just because it's tough with the kids getting ready to go back to school. Any different thoughts. Probably should have said that to start? Link to post Share on other sites
goldway90 Posted August 3, 2015 Share Posted August 3, 2015 You were the rebound and you'll always be, i'm sorry. Her ex husband is still in the picture and they have kids together, best thing you'd do is stay away for your own good. Link to post Share on other sites
Author cgl5915 Posted August 3, 2015 Author Share Posted August 3, 2015 How am I the rebound? First I went back to her and now her to me? The husband will always be there because of the kids but trust me hethere is nothing between them. Left before because she was scared of getting hurt but know realizes she was wrong. I did the same thing to her so why not try to give it another go? Link to post Share on other sites
goldway90 Posted August 3, 2015 Share Posted August 3, 2015 Maybe i read it wrong still why do want all this drama? her ex getting drunk obviously she can't trust him with the kids therefor your plans are screwed! You said it stuff like this happened before so why do want to give it another try? it didn't work twice! this relationship is headed toward the toxic level of On/Off relationships. I don't know her or her ex husband but the drinking with kids, her not fully trusting him, the " i was afraid to get hurt" the continuous drama with him are red flags of an emotionally abusive relationship she had with him and you'll get stuck in this circle for a long time. be careful. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author cgl5915 Posted August 3, 2015 Author Share Posted August 3, 2015 I appreciate your opinion. Let's say I do want to try even with all the "drama". I want to because she was someone I could really connect with and feel there could be a long term relationship. She is moving to my town to get away from her ex so it should be better with him far away. I really want to see if it can work with her being local. Do you think she's back and really wants to try herself or this is just a fling. Why is she being so coy? Or guarded? Or am I just dealing with a product of a failed, abusuve marriage? Link to post Share on other sites
goldway90 Posted August 3, 2015 Share Posted August 3, 2015 I appreciate your opinion. Let's say I do want to try even with all the "drama". I want to because she was someone I could really connect with and feel there could be a long term relationship. She is moving to my town to get away from her ex so it should be better with him far away. I really want to see if it can work with her being local. Do you think she's back and really wants to try herself or this is just a fling. Why is she being so coy? Or guarded? Or am I just dealing with a product of a failed, abusive marriage? You want to try even with all the " drama" meaning want to play the white knight, you're ignoring some red flags and that's not good, just want to point that out. Maybe she wants you as her new start of life, maybe she just needs company i don't know the answer to that question honestly, but her failed marriage, her ex husband's immature behavior, her guarded attitude... will always be there unless she puts a stop to them ( which is not the case) you can already see that your relationship with her is affected. Obviously i wouldn't tell you to run for the hills, you can try to be with her again maybe you'll live happily ever after but don't ignore the red flags because if you do, you're going for a rollercoaster ride and it's not a fun one. Link to post Share on other sites
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