When is it just sex

[Ifalltopieces]

When is it just about sex?

 

 

I've seen OW post about how they knew it was strictly physical between them and their AP.

 

But how do you really know when that's all it is? Are there signs? Things they say?

 

I know some might think it should be obvious and it's a dumb question, but I genuinely want to know.

[Popsicle]

It's not obvious to others. How could it be? No one else was there. And I find that most people (BS's especially) think it was just sex. If you really analyse it, you will know when it was or wasn't just sex.

[Grapesofwrath]

I think one can tell when it's just about sex, but if you're not sure, I'd ask the following:

 

Do you ever spend time together when sex isn't part of the equation?

What proportion of the time together is spent talking/relating and what proportion is spent having sex?

If you can't have sex on a given day, or don't feel up to it, does he cancel plans or cut them short?

[OldRover]

I think one can tell when it's just about sex, but if you're not sure, I'd ask the following:

 

Do you ever spend time together when sex isn't part of the equation?

What proportion of the time together is spent talking/relating and what proportion is spent having sex?

If you can't have sex on a given day, or don't feel up to it, does he cancel plans or cut them short?

 

Good points... and you want to be with him all the time, text, call, email, and be with..... dinner, lunch, overnight.

 

And you want to be free with him, and tell all your friends and family....

 

And you want to trust him with things you wouldn't tell anyone....

 

And you want to tell him I love you and hear it in return....

[privategal]

Too many possibilities or scenarios.

I don't think it's always about sex, for some it can be about attention, ego strokes, filling a void, feeling wanted, emotional support, love addiction, even straight out love.

Sometimes it is strictly sex only but one or the other tends to catch feelings, it gets deeper or complicated.

Also..sometimes alot of love-like things are said, in order to get or keep sex, but those words aren't often heart felt.

Id say trust your gut or you will just know, but many on here were convinced...totally believed with every peice of them that it was love and deep and special only to be thrown out like trash, left coldly, or thrown under the bus on dday and their best friend like, most loving connected AP turned cold overnight...

Go on everything BUT words and heart. Go with your mind and his actions.

Not with what you want him to be or what you choose to believe...but rather facts.

[Popsicle]

Sex = the body

Love = the heart

Duty = the mind

[Mount]

That is simple, if your MM still treats you like a queen, give you his care, time, gift...etc when you two not even have that much of sex (or hardly no sex or no time for sex), I guess it is not about the sex.

 

 

When is it just about sex?

 

 

I've seen OW post about how they knew it was strictly physical between them and their AP.

 

But how do you really know when that's all it is? Are there signs? Things they say?

 

I know some might think it should be obvious and it's a dumb question, but I genuinely want to know.

[still_an_Angel]

MM has bared his emotions, tears and grief to/with me. A lot of which were kept well under lock and key during those times when he had to stand strong to bear all the grief for himself and his wife. He has never shown his W his true feelings about those events in their lives. I thought it really took a lot to put his defences down and give me his thoughts and feelings.