life sucks lost mojo nothing seems to work !

[2011]

Hi all

 

I really don't know where to start here. I'm a guy 39, and from anyone's perspective they'd think I have it good, like good job, friends etc. but I'm seriously pissed off with dating life, nothing I want seems to go my way, I'm always single, I really really struggle to talk to women, I'm always really anxious and so in my head I'm starting going to a CBT therapy and I'm trying to read and do the starter exercises but I'm not even interested or feel like doing it.

 

It seems like everyone is getting somewhere with their dating life but mine is totally on hold. Tonight I feel that way just totally raw, sick and like a caged animal wanting to get out and change it but I can't seem to flip the switch to get whatever it is I need to do to get better and out of this whole scenario.

 

In my opinion this has been going on for far too long now - years - I really need to do something to fix it but what? I aint got the energy to start trying to help myself so what gives. I'm burnt out each day after work, tired, moody, everything, can't be bothered speaking to anyone, don't partake in much anymore.

 

Trying all this self help BS and it seems to have no effect so what's next?

[Double D]

I am 38 and my hang up is my work/career life. Don't know what I what to do with it.

 

 

I am doing self help stuff and my mind is a muddle of a mess at the moment. In terms of the self help stuff well in my experience, be patience.

 

 

The stuff your working on wont happen over night, so be kind and gentle on yourself. Your trying to change, grow and develop and that in its self is a good start.

 

 

Also you need significant commitment/motivation to your cause as you will experience times (which you currently going through) where you want to just stop because you cant see instant results. The changes are happening just sometimes not in the ways or rate we would like.

 

 

Hang In There! Look deep into your heart, you'll see the path you have started is the right one. Keep going!

[d0nnivain]

How about instead of self help you enlist the services of a CBT professional? Sometimes it's more helpful & more motivating to have some outside influence.

 

Have you noticed any other patterns in your dating life, besides it's not working? Do these women have things in common? Are you always seemingly trapped in the same loop? have you tried dating out of type or stopping doing what you usually do?

 

For me at 39 for the 1st time in my life, I dated a younger guy. I ended up marrying him.

[2011]

How about instead of self help you enlist the services of a CBT professional? Sometimes it's more helpful & more motivating to have some outside influence.

 

Have you noticed any other patterns in your dating life, besides it's not working? Do these women have things in common? Are you always seemingly trapped in the same loop? have you tried dating out of type or stopping doing what you usually do?

 

For me at 39 for the 1st time in my life, I dated a younger guy. I ended up marrying him.

 

Hi I have just started doing CBT but can't get into it yet, I need to commit more to it. I realised when they told me it's about gathering evidence of your negative thoughts and challenging them. i thought oh where do I start, well I suppose the start is the best place.

 

Regarding dating it's just s dry spell for a good few years and I can't seem to connect with anyone I like, or if someone approaches and appears interested I lose what to say and they just walk away thinking I'm not interested.

[2011]

I am 38 and my hang up is my work/career life. Don't know what I what to do with it.

 

 

I am doing self help stuff and my mind is a muddle of a mess at the moment. In terms of the self help stuff well in my experience, be patience.

 

 

The stuff your working on wont happen over night, so be kind and gentle on yourself. Your trying to change, grow and develop and that in its self is a good start.

 

 

Also you need significant commitment/motivation to your cause as you will experience times (which you currently going through) where you want to just stop because you cant see instant results. The changes are happening just sometimes not in the ways or rate we would like.

 

 

Hang In There! Look deep into your heart, you'll see the path you have started is the right one. Keep going!

 

That's the thing I want to change and am taking action but as you say you look for instant results. I need to take part more in the CBT, at the moment when I read up the exercises I can't seem to start. I'll just keep going at it and see how I get on.

 

Thanks

 

2011