Is it wrong to feel cheated on?

[Lola]

This is a bit strange, I hope it's ok i post on this board, but maybe someone can knock some sense into me? I was actually broken up with my ex for over 2 months when he started sleeping with someone. I now see that the girl was just a month long fling, he dumped her as soon as she showed signs of wanting to actually date him(this was about 6 months ago). We have recently begun reconciling, yet i still can't stop thinking about the girl he was with (and maybe there were others i dont' know), but even though we were broken up i feel like he cheated on me. THis is maybe because when we broke up he kept keeping me hanging with words like "i know this isn't the last of us" etc, it took me ages to finally realize he didn't mean we'll get back togehter, he just watned to keep me around just in case. So anyway, after a year apart and him seeing that girl ( i slept with one guy during that time but only because i was so hurt hearing about his girl), we have been getting back together. But i just can't seem to shake this feeling that he cheated on me, and i'm still sick at the thought of that girl, even though i know she was just a passing thing and i had no claim on him at the time whatsoever (we weren't even on speaking terms at the time cause i was too heartbroken over the breakup). is it unfair of me to be hurt by this? I just can't help the jealousy...plus, she was a different race and now i can't stop looking at girls of her race without a twinge of pain. Help is this normal???

[Tony T]

So you slept with a guy because you were so hurt that he had slept with a girl when the two of you were not together. This is pretty sick. The two of you should definitely get back together. Both of you are from the same mold. You both deserve each other.

 

Your style of logic fascinates me.

 

The depth of your feelings about this indicates this relationship has little chance. It could be decades, if ever, before you get over this.

 

Go find yourself another guy. Also, get to a doctor and make sure you didn't pick up any diseases while sleeping with another guy because your guy slept with another girl while the two of you were broken up.

 

I also hope you can find other good reasons for making love to men besides taking out a grudge.

 

This whole scene seems extremely immature and wrong. I just don't see the basis for a healthy relationship here.

 

To answer your question, it is not wrong to feel cheated on. Your feelings are your feelings. But as an academic matter, if two people are broken up they are free to do anything they want...even screwing other people just because they're pissed off.